Top 10 Weirdest Things About the Holiday Season

As you can tell, I have plenty of ideas regarding weirdness and superstition. Let me discard "superstition," and add the Holiday Season and voila, you've got this list. If you still believe in Santa Claus, you might want to avoid this list. Can't say I didn't warn you. Here are the weirdest things about the "Holiday Season".
The Top Ten
1 Santa Claus is a stalker

Yes, Santa Claus is a stalker. Let's put into consideration part of the song, "Santa Claus Is Coming to Town", okay? "He sees you when you're sleeping, he knows when you're awake, he knows if you've been bad or good." I don't know about you, but to me, this is the Christmas equivalent to "Every Breath You Take" by the Police. Santa is definitely on the invasive side.

Yeah it's a little unsettling to think about. Also not to mention that his elves are technically slaves. I mean, what does he pay them? Are we sure his workshop is up to modern children safety standards?

2 Reindeer can't fly

This is even more far-fetched than a ground squirrel predicting the weather (but that's a whole different story). When you think about it, the whole Santa Claus thing is really weird, but why do we believe that animals that can weigh up to 401 pounds can fly? And they have no wings.

First of all, they are as heavy as a massive rock! Heavier than most of us, even. Second of all, they have no wings! We are lighter than they reindeers are and I can only jump a little! I can't thrust myself into the air at all. So, that makes zero sense.

3 Despite the name, Christmas has almost nothing to do with Jesus Christ

You are probably thinking, "Woah, woah, woah! Timeout! What are you thinking? 'Christ' is in the title!" While that is true, Christmas actually is not when Christ was born. He was born in Spring. "Then why do we celebrate His birthday in December?" Well, that's a really complicated thing, but long story short, Constantine wanted peace between Pagans and Christians, so he moved Christ's birthday to the day that Pagans celebrate the Sun god, so we celebrate the Son of God on the same day.

People celebrate the birth of Christ on 25th of December for a reason. Around that time, people are very lonely and sad and they need someone to look up to. Also, the Pagans celebrated one of their gods around the time we celebrate Jesus. In the same ways too! Constantine wanted peace between the Pagans and the Christians. Jesus was actually born somewhen in Spring. Nobody knows when, though.

4 Children are welcoming a burglar into their house

If you're reading this, hopefully, you no longer believe in Santa Claus, but when you think about it, that's what he is, and this fat guy is the only burglar who receives a warm welcome instead of a bat to the head or worse.

Imagine someone actually pretending to be Santa and breaking into people's houses. I would be terrified.

5 Thanksgiving is in vain

Okay, let me steer clear of Christmas for just a second. I get that we Americans do this because that's what the pilgrims did, but honestly, do we REALLY consider how thankful we are? I hope I'm wrong, but it seems the answer is no. We just eat and watch football. Let's rename Thanksgiving "Food and Football Day". Between that and it being exclusively for Americans, why do we do it these days?

You ARE wrong. Some of us give many thanks to God on this day. And it's not just Americans; Canadians also celebrate Thanksgiving Day, but in October.

6 You worship your Christmas tree

I know this is a bold statement, but "worship" doesn't necessarily mean we have to be on our knees praying. If it's the slightest admiration of how pretty it looks, you are technically worshipping your tree at a very low level.

I pray for the lights on it to stop randomly switching off at random intervals every day. I've got a good chant going, actually.

And Christmas lights too for that matter. I mean, there's people who go all out and there's actual contests involving this.

7 More people are depressed than happy

Whether it's because you have that "personal Hallmark" level of idealism, or are depressed due to loneliness or something else, yes, apparently more people are depressed than happy. (This might not be a credible statement, but I'm gonna ask my father about it and give you a link to back up my statement in the description. That dude never fails with that kind of thing.)

It is kind of ironic since christmas and other holidays mainly focuses on happiness... More people are expected to buy expensive presents.

8 The whole "mistletoe" thing

Come to think of it, having a "natural" reaction because a plant is dangling over your head is a little weird. Kissing under the mistletoe started as fertility rites, and is more or less a sugarcoated equivalent to putting your keys on the table. Although prostitution is not implied, availability is a whole different story. Standing beneath the mistletoe is like saying, "I'm single and I don't want to mingle!"

Let's be honest, mistletoes and hollies around Christmas time are very nice with perfect red pearls that are not to be eaten because they are toxic. They are some plants that retain their leaves in the winter (most trees have all of their leaves gone or very very brown and wrinkled). They also have berries which make it more aesthetically pleasing.

9 Winter symbolizes death

Well, actually, both snow and Winter alike symbolize death, which isn't surprising, seeing as they often go hand and hand. As cute as it is for kids to play in the snow, according to symbolism, this is a bad idea. Winter symbolizes death because it's the death of the year (which I am looking forward to), as well as the death of crops and even the death of the sun. (What is wrong with this picture? If Winter symbolizes the death of the sun, why did pagans celebrate the Sun god in that season? Hopefully, It's just out of date symbolism).

10 It's impossible for any species to have glowing noses

He can fly, his nose glows like a light bulb, and much more! Seriously, if you told me that Rudolph can tap dance, I'd not bat an eye. Not that I believe any of this. While it is technically possible for a human to get a red nose through a head cold, blushing, and a few other things, how can a reindeer have a normal red nose, without it being painted, much less glow?

I mean, a genetic disorder is possible, but even then, it's super unlikely that he would live that long because of other health problems or something, right?

The Contenders
11 In the long run, being naughty or nice doesn't really matter

That is a technique used by parents to get their kids to behave well. Threatening not to give any presents if the child doesn't behave I think is a good way to help your child grow. They will learn the importance of good behavior and the cost of bad behavior.

I strongly advise against doing this but if you get on Santa's naughty list, you're still gonna walk through the fire and manage to get plenty of gifts anyway. (Exception being felonies.)

As long as you have family who celebrates Christmas, you should get presents.

12 Santa’s Elves are forced into slave labor

You know I never thought about that, but it's true. All Santa does is go around giving the gifts. It's all the poor little elves that have to read all the letters and make the toys. They don't even get any cookies.

I mean they have to make billions of presents, prepare for Christmas Eve and who knows what else and they don't get paid at all.

At first, I was a little cynical about this, but the more I read this, the more it made sense to me. Elves are unpaid and forced to work

13 In recent years, it's been suggested that "Baby It's Cold Outside" is about a guy drugging his girlfriend

I heard that the idea was that her refusal was meant to sound "flirty and coy". The thing is that it wasn't seen as socially acceptable for an unmarried woman to spend the night with her boyfriend at that time. Especially if she was straight forward about wanting sex it would not go down well with audiences. Screw 1940s society. Also this song has nothing to do with Christmas.

That's because people always have to get upset over stuff that doesn't mean what they think it means. They can never leave anything be. IT'S JUST A SONG

14 Everyone says "giving is better than getting"

I mean, dude, free stuff that other people are paying for!

Most of the time they don't actually mean it.

Exactly! The more YOU give, the more I get!

15 Santa Claus has the same characteristics as God

The comparison in the picture doesn't do this justice (and you can barely tell which column is God and which is Santa, much less, what they say under them,) but both know what you're doing all the time and have various supernatural characters working for them. (I'm not calling God a stalker, though, for obvious reasons.)

16 Christmas pickle

Okay, apparently, this is the real deal. A less common Christmas tradition, the Christmas pickle is an ornament shaped like a pickle. It's hidden in the Christmas tree, and whoever finds it either gets a reward or good fortune.

17 Hanukkah is almost completely disregarded

Yes. And I saw a list about the best holidays and Hanukkah is below April's fools day

Hanukkah is overshadowed by Christmas, big-time, and aside from using menorahs, what exactly do you do? (No offense to Jews.)

18 Those weird people who paint their pumpkins into snowmen
19 Wishing someone a "Merry Christmas"

Similar to "Trick or Treat," "We Wish You a Merry Christmas" was actually a threat from lower class slaves to their masters demanding booze. ("We won't go until we get some.") I know it's hard to believe, but it's true.

20 Thanksgiving is not a time to give thanks
21 There are so many holidays in December and November

Thanksgiving? Chanukah? Kwanza? Boxing day? Omisoka? There are millions of other holidays.

22 No one ever cares about the elves
23 Giving away cookies and milk
24 Everyone says giving is better than getting, but they never mean it
25 People hate one of the best foods, fruit cake
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