Top 10 Most Ridiculous Instances of U.S. Conservative Outrage in 2023

The Top Ten
Former Trump lawyer Jenna Ellis Tweets video claiming "LAX is installing urinals in the women's bathrooms"

The video clearly showed Ellis walking into a Men's restroom that had been temporarily converted into a women's restroom while the existing women's restroom was under construction. Either this person is gloriously oblivious (which may explain her defending Trump) or a liar (which would also be a viable explanation).

Conservative influencer Nick Adams says "We must BOYCOTT M&M's until the alpha male M&M's get their own exclusive package" and "This is no laughing matter, it's a legitimate crisis"

I disagree. The people getting all worked up over candy character mascots is quite funny. Almost as funny as these people not realizing they're being trolled by a candy company who is relishing all the free publicity. Oh, and let's not forget how much conservatives hate "cancel culture".

The ironic thing is that they technically do... basically anything but the party size bag (which features both red and green), the dark chocolate box/bag (which features brown) and the fact that Purple has yet to be on a single box... or be produced outside of Halloween for that matter...

It's just doesn't make sense for both... say... red and yellow to be on a box together unless it's some weird peanut/milk chocolate hybrid.

Ted Cruz and others accuse Microsoft of going woke because of the Xbox Energy Saving Mode

The infuriating thing about Cruz is that he's not a stupid man. He graduated from Princeton University and then from Harvard Law with a Juris Doctor degree magna cum laude. He was described by a Harvard professor as "off the charts brilliant".

Ted is not stupid. He does, however, pander to stupid people which is all the more infuriating.

Tucker Carlson takes the bait and again rants about "Woke M&M's" on the January 11th episode of Tucker Carlson Tonight

Not only is Carlson upset about is favorite green M&M not being as sexy, but he fears he may not be able to get with her at all because she could be a lesbian. And since the new purple M&M is apparently too fat for his tastes, he has no other option but to pine for the old days.

Conservatives including Nick Adams and Robby Starbuck falsely claim a silly pregnant Joker storyline is some kind of SJW commentary on transgenderism

Feel free to complain that a pregnant Joker is a stupid idea. But to try to make it all about some woke allegory screams of people desperately trying to find things to be upset about.

This isn't really surprising at all, to be honest. I agree that many conservatives are always trying to make SJWs the reason for whatever they don't like.

Conservatives criticize Biden for following the Pentagon's recommendations for dealing with the Chinese spy balloon despite there being multiple such balloons during Trump's presidency

"Biden is weak. King Trump would have never let this happen."

Turns out, it did happen and Trump may have even intentionally hid that fact.

Fox News, Charlie Kirk, and other conservative outlets falsely claim a Harvard Medical School class teaching about intersex babies is instead about "transgender infants"

Really not surprising people don't know the difference considering so many conservatives don't know all that much about the things they hate. It's par for the course for a group that sees "socialism" everywhere they look, can barely even define the CRT boogeyman, and thinks emergency contraception is the same as abortion.

Republican lawmakers accuse DirecTV of an "assault on free speech" for not renewing Newsmax despite the decision being based on Newsmax's money demands

Newsmax demanded more money. Newsmax isn't very popular. It didn't make sense for DirecTV to make a deal that would result in them having to charge customers higher fees to carry a channel most of them don't even watch. But no, it's all about persecution and muh free speech.

Marjorie Taylor Greene absurdly claims again that an elementary school in Illinois received $5.1 billion to implement "equity and diversity" (read Critical Race Training) into its curriculum
The New York Post accuses Canada of "cancelling booze" after the CCSA publishes a study on the factual health risks of drinking

Turns out the whole Fox News narrative of "we're just presenting facts and letting the people decide" completely falls apart when people present actual facts and when those facts aren't popular.

The Contenders
The New York Post accuses Canada of "coming for your coffee" after research from the University of Toronto finds health risk to people who are slow metabolizers of caffeine

Conservatives have so many boogeymen these days. How do they even sleep at night? There's the big, bad CRT monster under the bed. The Socialism monster behind the curtains. The groomer monster in the closet. The "they" who is cancelling their coffee, booze, gas stoves,... such a scary world.

MTG and other politicians blast Biden for visiting Ukrainian president Volodymyr Zelensky in Kyiv on Presidents' Day

"He should be focusing on 'Merica" they scream as they focus on the things that affects the everyday lives of Americans most: drag shows and Hunter Biden's laptop.

It wasn't long ago (literally right before the big orange guy) that Republicans and Democrats alike at least agreed that a dangerous autocrat with designs on reconquering huge swaths of Europe and Asia through force was a bad thing. Republicans may have even been the more anti-Russia party.

Then when Russia actively worked to meddle in the U.S. Presidential in favor of the Trumpster, amazingly the right became sympathetic to a tyrant who has waged wars resulting in the death of hundreds of thousands of people.

Opposing Russia used to be focusing on America. Fighting for world peace benefits the United States as well. But now that Trump is Putin's pal, puppet, protege, puta, whatever you want to call him, the MAGA Republicans want to go back to American isolationism. Spoiler alert, last time that was the sentiment in the U.S. with regards to a tyrant threatening Europe, it did not end well.

Conservatives slam trailer for Disney's Peter Pan & Wendy remake for having girls among the Lost Boys and having a black Tinkerbell

Sorry, but if you have white representation in your nativity scene and worship a guy who looks like Kenny Loggins, you don't get to complain about literary accuracy and not being true to the source material.

Ted Cruz, MTG, Matt Walsh and others call Sam Smith's Grammy's performance "evil", "a satanic ritual", and "demonic"

In other news, Arizona State University is advocating sacrificing babies, Duke University is stealing souls, and kids who listen to The Charlie Daniels Band will eventually try to kill you in your sleep.

Fox News airs segment complaining about Lego going "woke" for adding characters to its friends line that are more relatable to people with Down Syndrome, anxiety, and missing limbs

When you make your whole platform about being anti-liberal and anti-woke, you end up getting upset about some crazy stupid and heartless stuff. But that's to be expected when you are the party railing against inclusivity, kindness, and empathy.

Extra points to Fox News Radio host Jimmy Failla who went full conspiracy theory nutcase by claiming that the big bad "They" are forcing identity into toys "because they think identity comes with a built-in political orientation, and that's what they're after here". Apparently, by creating a Lego character that a kid can identify with, the Deep State, New World Order, Illuminati, the Rothschilds, or George Soros are creating an anti-Republican voting class. As if all that effort is necessary when Republicans are working so hard to alienate everyone who doesn't look and think like they do.

Of course, this is the same radio host who claimed Xbox's energy saving feature was an effort to "recruit your kids into climate politics" so, par for the course.

Tucker Carlson and guest Jesse Kelly rant on Chelsea Handler's childless woman sketch, state that woman cannot be happy without having children

Actual Jesse Kelly quote from the segment, "Either way, they've been told they should do a career and don't do a family, and soon you're Chelsea Handler. Soon it's Valentine's Day and your womb resembles a dried up tumbleweed blowing down an old Western town and your Valentine's Day date for the 10th year in a row is a 10-year-old copy of Magic Mike and half-full bottle of Xanax and you're trying to pretend like you're happy, but you're not happy and it's actually not her fault. She's been lied to by a country that's lost its way."

Oh, and in case you're confused whether he believes woman cannot have a career or should not have a career, he states, "they've been lied to by their society forever, that you can be a girlboss and you can do anything a man can do - which, everyone who's ever seen a woman back up a vehicle knows that's not true."

Yes, this misogynistic rant was aired in primetime on the most popular "news" network in the country. (News in quotes because Fox News successfully argued in court that no reasonable viewer would take the network's primetime star Tucker Carlson seriously.)

Conservatives boycott Bud Light over an advertising collaboration with trans influencer Dylan Mulvaney
Don Jr., MTG, Boebert, and others criticize Biden for fencing around Capitol for the State of the Union address despite Biden having no role in its construction
The New York Post publishes an article slamming a parody Twitter account with only 1K followers for Tweeting that Aretha Franklin's "Natural Woman" perpetuates anti-trans stereotypes

A joke post from a parody Twitter account with 1,000 followers claiming to be operated out of Oslo, Norway suddenly becomes newsworthy when there is an opportunity to anger the base. Anything to keep up the narrative of the crazy woke liberal.

Grant Stinchfield rants about Rihanna's Super Bowl halftime performance claiming it played out exactly like "the Bible when Satan fell from heaven"

"Won't somebody please think of the children?" cry the conservatives when they see a black woman dressed in red before they send them off to school with their bulletproof backpacks.

Conservatives get all worked up over a three year old incarnation some guy made of the Progress Pride flag with sex worker representation that nobody uses or cares about
Utah Senator Mike Lee vows to never eat Ben & Jerry's ice cream again after company Tweets in support of returning sacred land to Native Americans

Remains hilarious how the conservatives who railed on cancel culture have made it their go-to tactic in 2023.

Fox host Larry Kudlow rages at Biden for wanting to force Americans to stop eating meat and to drink "plant-based beer"

You know, as opposed to the hamburger-based, sausage-infused beer that truly represents American values.

Ted Cruz accuses the Barbie movie of promoting Chinese propaganda in a "child-like crayon drawing" of a map

Ted claims the map includes a representation of the U-shaped "nine-dash line" promoting China's territorial claims in the South China Sea. The map in the movie does in fact have a dashed line to the right of a large blue blob labeled "Asia." That line has 8 dashes and is not U-shaped.

Of course, the map also has other dashed lines and doodles all over the place, is barely recognizable as a world map, and looks like it was drawn by someone using Microsoft Paint with their mouse in their non-dominant hand. But, yeah, Chinese propaganda, sure Ted.

Fox News describes transgender runner as "runner who beat 14,000 women at London Marathon" in headline despite her placing 6,159 among all women

Fox also stated that the runner offered to return her medal while conveniently burying the fact that it was a participation medal.

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