Top Ten Ways to Annoy a Conservative

The Right Wing Republicans of Texas do not approve.
The Top Ten
1 Play the Rainbow Road Level in Mario Kart

I don't mind playing on this course, but I keep falling off the road whenever I make a turn. Conservatives, however, would be more offended, though.

It's a level in a video game. Sure, it's rainbow-themed, but the level has nothing to do with homosexuality! And yes, I'm a conservative.

Ahh! Too many colors! Back in my day, everything was black and white, and since I'm conservative, it should stay that way!

2 Teach Them 7th Grade Biology

Biology can explain if the chicken or egg came first.

If the theory of evolution is true, then chickens evolved from another species way back when because the first organisms were unicellular prokaryotes, which evolved into more complex life forms.

The definition of separate species is two species that are unable to mate.

If the species of chicken is unable to mate with any other species, that means the first chicken evolved as a result of reproductive isolation and, at one point, was unable to mate with the parent species.

This means that genetic mutations or recombination caused the change in variety that made the chicken unable to mate with other species.

Therefore, the egg came first and from it hatched the very first chicken.


3 Ask If They Think the Earth is Flat
4 Tell Them that They Lost the Civil War

It WAS lost by Democrats, but back then, Democrats were conservative and Republicans were liberal.

5 Diss Fox News
6 Say that Ronald Reagan Was Liberal
7 Play "Highway to Hell" Really Loud on a Radio

While you're at it, play anything by Slayer, Gwar, Marilyn Manson, Slipknot, and any death metal band.

Play some Rammstein songs while you're at it.

8 Read the First Amendment to Them

It clearly states that there's freedom of religion and freedom of speech in the government. I wonder how those Islamophobic, theocratic conservatives would react.

9 Tell Them that They'd Look Good in a Hijab

And that they'd be a good fit for the Taliban - wait. That's a tad too far.

No, they look better in a bikini.

10 Kiss Someone of the Same Sex in Front of Them
The Contenders
11 Start a Religious Flame War

I'm just gonna stay out of it and eat some popcorn.

Mm mm! I love me some religious wars!

12 Become an Atheist
13 Give Money to the Poor

Give money to feed or house the poor WITHOUT going through your political or religious organization. They take up to 95% of the money given.

14 Have a Threesome
15 Read Them the God Delusion

They also like reading "On the Origin of Species" by Charles Darwin. (Sarcasm intended)

16 Tell Them the Truth
17 Run Around Naked
18 Enroll Them in a College Critical Thinking Class
19 Force Them to Watch Gory Horror Movies
20 Tell Them that Homosexuals are Nice People
21 Be Gay
22 Talk About Gun Control
23 Say You Don't Like Trump
24 Wear an Antichrist Superstar T-Shirt
25 Be a Feminist

Talking about women's rights, safety, and bodily autonomy is going to very likely make them bark.

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