Top Ten Ways to Annoy a Conservative

The Right Wing Republicans of Texas do not approve.
The Top Ten
1 Play the Rainbow Road Level in Mario Kart

I don't mind playing on this course, but I keep falling off the road whenever I make a turn. Conservatives, however, would be more offended though.

It's a level in a video game. Sure it's rainbow themed but the level has nothing to do with homosexuality! And yes, I'm a conservative.

Ahh! Too many colors! Back in my day, everything was black and white, and since I'm conservative, it should stay that way!

2 Teach Them 7th Grade Biology

Biology can explain if the chicken or egg came first.

If the theory of evolution is true, then chickens evolved from another species way back when because the first organisms were unicellular prokaryotes which evolved into more complex life forms.

The definition of separate species is two species that are unable to mate.

If the species of chicken is unable to mate with any other species, that means the first chicken evolved as a result of reproductive isolation and at one point was unable to mate with the parent species.

This means that genetic mutations or recombination caused the change in variety that made the chicken unable to mate with other species.

Therefore the egg came first and from it hatched the very first chicken.


About that chicken and the egg thing, somebody else commented. There is a much simpler way to find out which came first. God created all animals, so he created a chicken which then later an egg. Therefore, the chicken came first.

3 Ask If They Think the Earth is Flat

That would be brilliant yes.

4 Tell Them that They Lost the Civil War

I don't understand. They didn't lose the civil war. The democrats lost the civil war and Lincoln was a republican.

It WAS lost by democrats, but back then, democrats were conservative and republicans were liberal.

Make the Republican Party liberal again!

5 Say that Ronald Reagan Was Liberal

Tell them Jesus was a liberal.

6 Diss Fox News

Fox News is fake news.

7 Play "Highway to Hell" Really Loud on a Radio

That won't annoy me much. Even Rammstein won't annoy me though I'm a conservative. But please, don't play Marilyn Manson!

While you're at it, play anything by Slayer, Gwar, Marilyn Manson, Slipknot, and ANY death metal band.

Play some Rammstein songs while you're at it.

8 Read the First Amendment to Them

If anything all the major social media companies should read the first Amendment. People can say whatever the hell they want about Trump and they won't get in trouble but if someone dare criticizes the left they get their account suspended. The bias is real.

It clearly states that there's freedom of religion and freedom of speech in the government. I wonder how those Islamophobic, theocratic conservatives would react...

9 Tell Them that They'd Look Good in a Hijab

And that they'd be a good fit for the Taliban- wait. That's a TAD too far...

No they look better in a bikini.

10 Kiss Someone of the Same Sex in Front of Them

I would give one of them a nice jab to the nose if they purposely did this around me or my kids. It's Adam and Eve not Adam and Steve.

I would totally do this

The Contenders
11 Start a Religious Flame War

I'm just gonna stay out of it and eat some popcorn.

Mm mm! I love me some religious wars!

12 Give Money to the Poor

Give money to feed or house the poor WITHOUT going through your political or religious organization.
They take up to 95% of the money given.

I'm pretty sure anyone regardless of whether they're liberal or conservative has given money to the poor at some point in their life.

How is this supposed to trigger conservatives? Statistics show that conservatives donate more money to charities than liberals do

13 Have a Threesome
14 Read Them the God Delusion

They also like reading "On the Origin of Species" by Charles Darwin. (Sarcasm intended)

15 Tell Them the Truth
16 Talk About Gun Control
17 Run Around Naked
18 Enroll Them in a College Critical Thinking Class
19 Force Them to Watch Gory Horror Movies
20 Become an Atheist

Well I certainly don't care if you decide to be atheist or not but just don't attack me for choosing to be Christian. I'm just as entitled to my religion as you are to be Atheist

21 Tell Them that Homosexuals are Nice People
22 Be Gay
23 Say You Don't Like Trump
24 Wear an Antichrist Superstar T-Shirt
25 Be a Feminist

Talking about women's rights, safety and bodily autonomy is going to very likely make them bark.

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