1 I'm seeing angsty Russian spiders trying to sell me toffee flavoured bronchitis-infected salmon. Is this normal?
Typical day. That and Australian monkeys with fedoras doing the macarena and trying to jump on windmills
I can assure you this is perfectly normal. It happens to us all. Then again, I'm currently hearing a baby screaming my name...and there ain't no babies in my house...all the TVs are off...oh never mind.
Oh, this is quite normal, yes. Why, just the other day I saw... Oh, never mind...
Happened to me 11 minutes ago
2 Why do I exist if blue lunchboxes exist?
Surely, the spacetime continuum will destabilise and the universe will implode if I were to coincide with a blue lunchbox?!...
You're veins are blue, so are those lunch boxes.
3 Is my toothbrush a left-wing guitarist's ice cream lubricator?
4 How can I detect cosmic neutrinos with my shoe's carbonated trombone?
This is the technology of the future.
5 I often imagine that I have the strength to juggle my dogs based on the fact that I have a Subway curry. Is my argument not simply flawless?
Yes it is. You made me want subway now
6 Why are lesbian penguins so righteous in our world of milky pineapple books?
7 What is the purpose of aluminium chicken tracksuits?
My mum has about thirty of these, and for what exactly? I'm so perplexed.
8 Why are most argumentative salt mines so narcissistic?
9 Are you taking this list seriously?
Possibly. Quite possibly.
10 Are most people passionate about explosive llamas?
I'm incredibly passionate about explosive llamas. I really think they always have something interesting to say.
We must save the llamas or else jay leno will blow them up
The Contenders
11 Why do blueberry muffins go to lame nightclubs on tuesdays with lunar eclipses
I feel like I should go clubbing on a Tuesday with a lunar eclipse, just because I like blueberry muffins.
12 Why do squirrels act like squirrels?
13 Why are dead strawberries so obsessed with hypocritical stained glass windows?
14 Why is my left ear throbbing after I fed my shark glow in the dark hipster carrots?
15 Why is the number 56 a bully to yellow zebras eating banana pudding?
16 Why does zucchini love the name "sally" more than purple pickles
17 Why is the number 33 eating pretzels at the applesauce factory in scranton?