Top Ten Things Insomniacs Are Tired of Hearing

The Top Ten

1 You should really get more sleep

Person: you need a full 8 ho-

Me: I've slept 20 hours nonstop... Do NOT tell me I need eight hours sleep everynight... I go to sleep at 7 P. M and I have to get up at 6 A. M

Wow! Thank you! That never occured to me in the many hours in which I lay awake! What was I doing lying awake? Simple. I was testing my cryokinetic powers.

Hearing that over and over again may just work. But I doubt it, you crazy person, you.

No shoot Sherlock. Should I award you for that wonderful observation?

2 Try sleeping on the other side

In bed, I have a rotational speed about my height of about ten revolutions per hour. You'd think at some point I'd be at an ideal angle. Well, news flash: no such bloody thing!

I sleep on literally every bloody side.

Bruh, I sleep at every bloody position I can.

3 Take a chill pill, mate

The more you say that, in any foolish belief that it is relevant to the situation, the more I want to sublime your skull.

I don’t do drugs thoguh lol

4 Avoid electronic devices

My teachers think they're so smart telling me this. What they don't know is that the phone comes to ME.

Using my iPad in the dark is the thing that puts me to sleep

But I want to find insomniac friends like me.-.

Dad, technology doesn't change my sleeping

5 Get a bed that works

Get a bed that works what? Overtime? As an accountant? Or one that I can hit you with?

My bed is comfortable enough.

Get a brain that works

6 It's because you can't sleep

Honestly? Quit pulling my chain.

WOW! I never would have guessed!

Oh, is it? That I did not consider.

Mind. Blown. 🙄 (you seriously think I hadn't thought of this earlier? )

7 Why not look online?

Because they're just as helpful as you.

Thanks, they helped as much as you did.

Because that keeps you awake longer.

I once had an appointment with Dr Google and Dr Yahoo! Answers, didn't end well

8 Turn in around 8PM, that'll help

And if that doesn't work, turn in an hour earlier each time, until you never get out of bed! It's not rocket science, it's nonsense!

But then I will be lying in bed for 3 more hours every day, because I simply can't fall asleep that early.

I cannot fall asleep until after 10, unless I am really (and I mean really) tired.

I sleep for less than 5 hours but I don’t really get affected by it.

9 Just sleep

Me: I haven't slept for 42 hours please stop it...
Some dumm friend: Just go to sleep now, it's not healthy and it's very dangerous
Me: BIT*H PLEASE

Insaunia- inability to sleep

It's about not being able to sleep... A sleep disorder, would you tell an anorexic person,"just eat"

HOW?! I'm an insomniac!

Just shut up.

10 Do you know what sleep loss does to you?

"Yeah, I do. And it's not pleasant. But it's even worse if you're insomniac. Think about it."

I am autistic and suffer from insomnia... Reading this at 2:27 in the morning.

Well, what do you intend to do about it, other than list the effects?

Who are you, the dude who lists the side effects on the ads?

The Contenders

11 How many fingers am I holding up?

I really hope you're not a hallucination, so I can break your jaw right here and now.

Oh, only one. And its not a very nice one.

Oh, I’m holding up 1 finger, it’s my middle one.

5, I'm not drunk.

12 Just go to a drugstore and get some medicine

You think I haven't tried? Miracle pills don't exist, lady.

I don’t do drugs, mate.

13 Stop going to bed so late

I go to bed around 10 pm or 11 pm, I just sleep 4 hours later.

14 Sleep is important
15 Turn off the TV and go to sleep
16 Stop thinking about so many things

OK, I will just commit suicide then.

Impossible chance.

Impossibility.

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