Top Ten Ways to Tell If Someone Is Dead
Sometimes people are dead, but how can you be sure?The Top Ten
1 There is an ax sticking out of their chest
2 Their head is missing
This is the most obvious list ever.
That wasn't my first clue.
That's a no brainier.
Well, that is... True.
3 They are riddled with bullet holes
4 They are hanging
5 They have no pulse
6 They aren't moving
That means I'm dead during sleeping. I always revive when waking up.
7 You yell BACON! and they don't respond
Most people love bacon so this might work out
8 There is a sharp object sticking out of their face
A thumbtack. It didn't kill them...
What if it's their nose?
9 Their body is missing from the neck down
10 Their Duolingo streak was lost
And they probably missed their Spanish lesson.
The Contenders
11 There's a pool of blood
12 Their brains are splattered all over the place
If this isn't doing it, what does?
13 They have an ice pick in their face
14 They have been impaled by a unicycle
15 They can't talk or make a sound
16 They're not breathing
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