Best Insults

This is an exceptional little phrase which can be used in any situation, whether it be orthodox or unorthodox. Furthermore I hope that anyone who uses this cracking little nugget of pure wit uses it well, as the results could be explosive.

This is a great diss, which implies that their birth was a big mistake, caused by a failed condom. Perfect to use to someone who you think has no purpose of doing anything, and just tries to target you for no reason.

I literally laughed my ass off off when I read this, so going to use it at school!

GREAT! I love this! I am so going to use it on everybody! This is the best insult in the world! I don't think anybody will hate this diss!

Nice! I actually laughed at this one! I might try this one on a woman although it will fail horribly. I want to see their reaction!

Amazing, I used this on an idiot from my school! I love this website, it's really cool.

I WILL USE THIS JOKE TO EVERY SINGLE PERSON I SEE ANYWHERE I GO IN MY WHOLE ENTIRE LIFE!

I'm going to so use this one! This one of the BEST I've heard so far.

This is the funniest this I've heard all day!

This is absolutely brilliant. I can picture it happening. I really hope I can remember this one forever because I'm sure I'm going to need it eventually.

That was seriously funny who ever came up with that is a legend laugh out loud

I laugh so much at this one! Laugh out loud
Dude this was really cool

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! That is awesome. Im gonna use this on my enemy when the time comes... or maybe even tomorrow! LOLOL Love it. Whoever first said this was a genius. (:

genious! lol this is a good one and I'm so gonna use it!

Laugh out loud I used this comeback on a girl and she got offended badly she went crying to her mommy any way love THE COMEBACK

I think is the best dis ever, you can say it anyone calls you dumb or brag about themselves

That's hilarious! I'm gonna use it on my mean cousins!

Hi. Not much of an opinion. Oh well this was still really hilarious.

That was so tight I couldn't even come up with that and I'm eminem

This is serious I'll use this one aww the person is gonna die when he hears this

this one is a killer by kush
hahahahaha who put you on this one man you got crack up connections

Red Forman is a winner. How many times has he insulted people with this? How many times has it fit? 'enough said.

A classic! Always use it haha. The absolute best of all time. People will say this always no matter what

I started cracking up seeing it this high on the list and just seeing the word "dumbass"...

Say it in a Mychonny accent and it becomes GENIUS AND WILL own ANYONE!

I could use this as a joke with friends. I could use a slight re-mix of this when leaving a conversation after an argument. I could use this anywhere!

I love this; its great. I'd rate this higher than a three, the others on the list didn't make me laugh as much.

Hilarious still laughing the best joke ever since number 1 I used it on my friends but he didn't get it but the rest of the table got it perfectly and started laughing so hard we got in trouble

Stupid but understandable! I like it. It took me a minute to understand but I finally got it! :) laugh out loud

This was so mean that when I said it to my ex boyfriend he walked off and stated crying

I used it on my friend and she didn't get it. She really didn't spring at all

this is so perfect for my one enemy he's goin down thank you so much

I actually spat out my drink when I read this! Made me laugh a lot! Still chuckling about it now!

Double insult... On how old you are and in your stupidity. Especially if you ask someone sensetive to their age

This one's really good because it's two insults in one. Really good for saying to a mean girl that's sensitive to their age.

This one was mine and I put it here, is it bad if I said this to my teacher and my parents. Sad sdf sdfg

I've always wanted to know how it was possible for some of the most horrible and stupidest people in the world managed to win the race against 100,000 others, It makes me wonder what all of those others would of made...

Hahaha I said something like this to this boy in my class I mean seriously some people were dropped as babies but he was CLEARLY thrown at he wall!

It's Hilarious! and a bit mean.. I could tell this to anyone I'm sure they will laugh as much as me :D... even my mother did!

This one is epic, can't believe no one has realized this yet! Great twist at the end

Laugh out loud this is hilarious! This is funny in any situation and is also useful if someone who is butt-ugly is targeting you, but the results could get you into a fight...

I couldn't stop laughing. This is a funny insult that I would use on a lot of people because their mothers would've said the same thing!

I laughed so hard my face turned purple and I blacked out for a sec... Then I kept on laughing

Haha this is so funny I can't even stand it I love it so much lol! I'm gonna use that on my dad. Hopefully I don't get a slap lol

lol! I used this on this guy at school and even HE laughed so hard he fell over!

took me a long time to chose and I'll probably change my mind in ten minutes but this is awesome

Lmafo I LOVED This it worked I said and someone gave me this look and they looked like jerk!

K that one was so bad! Haha nice one though I'm so gonna say this to my friend

That is so cruel... Laugh out loud

Haha using this all the time, you'll never forget this Xx

LMFAO that's so hilarious I'm going to use it the next time I want to hurt someone BADLY

That's the best 1 I herd in a long time

Use it more smart people and they will get it

This is probably the best diss I have ever heard it deserves to be NUMBER 1 NOT NUMBER TWO DJF MAYBE YOU SHOUJK ST OK NOW I OT GREE WHOPE FU))) U KJJKJKJKJKJKJKJKJKJK

this is so cool! who thought of this? I know someone like this and I never got to explain my thoughts about him.

Love it, this is a first class insult.

Best one ever I am so using this on my math class friend. It's hilarious

Call the fire department, cause you just got burned

Classic insult, I don't remember who actually said it first..

It is amazingly funny! I totally am gonna share this with my bff! AMAZING! HILARIOUS

HAHA SO FUNNY! THIS IS FAR THE MOST BEST JOKE ever! I SAID IT TO MY BRO AND HE STARTED CRYING LIKE HELL

I did the same to my bro and he cry out loud

Say something bad but it still funny
Hahaha

So funny... Laugh out loud ^____^... (as well as so insulting)... Plus this is the best

O man! wait till i tell my friend about this 1!

Pretty funny, didn't expect to like any of these, but this one was great! ^___^

This is off the chart's funny! !

That would make someone cry, I'm a hurtful person but this joke makes me seem like a nice person, It's funny and extremely mean

OMG! I FREAKING LOVE THIS! I'M GONNA SAY IT TO YOU!

THIS IS so AMAZING. PERFECT, ORIGINAL! CAN PICTURE SOMEONE THAT UGLY, ACTUALLY I KNOW SOMEONE THAT UGLY! BEST EVER!

It is so funny it made me fall of my chair because my brother started crying

This is epic - using it tomorrow for sure. Whoever made this is an epic genius

This ones a total puller when you wanna bust the hell outta your opponent in a crisp sentence...

This is a funny insult. DOUBLE HIT! I told this to my ex girlfriend. She was really sexy and she liked me, and now I can't talk to her. IT WAS STILL WORTH IT

WAY TOO EPIC! How did you even invent such a cruel insult? You must be such a d* in real life

This was surprisingly satisfying, not only does it offend them behavior wise but also offends them in a decent manner instead of trying to insult in a rude way..

Very good - excellent for people who don't have friends! (we all know someone like that, don't we? )

Wicked I would use that on nearly all my enemys

That was one of the funniest on this page, literally had me on the floor dying. I could use this on my enemies or my cousins or my sister, and I bet they will give me a look, but it'll be worth it

I can't get over this... I've been laughing at my laptop for half an hour now

I have an obsession with yo mamma's so fat jokes. Thanks for the mental image. LAWL. Your mamma's not halal if she's related to whales...

Oh my gad this is so... I can even use that to my worst friend I can't get hold of laughters now laugh out loud laugh out loud

Genius. Made me laugh so hard

This joke is a better version then the I asked your weight not your phone number who ever thought of this is a legend

Haha me and my bestie couldn't stop laughing 4 ages

Hahaha that's really funny I love it...
going to use that on someone for sure

A better one would be your so fake barbie is jealous

Laugh out loud! I'm totally using this on my friend! We diss each other every day for fun in Drama class.. Can't wait til tomorrow

This is awful... Awfully funny. I'm sorry... This made me laugh so ' hard. I mean, yeah, stop bullying people in general. But, MUAHAHAHA.

THIS MADE ME LMAO SO HARD ITS AWFUL BUT HILARIOUS! IT MADE ME LAUGH SO HARD I NEARLY CHOCKED! LMAO I FELL OUT OF MY CHAIR ONTO THE GROUND! Love this one I'm gonna use it A LOT this is definitely my favourite joke YET :D oahahah if you didn't notice I'm still laughing.

Laugh out loud When I saw this, I cracked up! Best one I've seen here

That is so cool, I could use it against my enemy in bahrain!

Haha I heard that while watching Austin Powers

I have used this on a couple of different occasions and I got the best reaction from it! :) And older sort of insult but still extremely funny and you will always get a great reaction from it!

A cracking good one that will baffle the wits of my brother.
Jolly good.

That is so hilarious. A girl stole my best friend yesterday... Watch out.

Oh man There is this one is great for a dumb ass boy in my school named Lucas he's going down down down!

That is like so mean! Especially if you family were affected by cancer! I would say never to use this! It is one of those things that you should o my ever use on a really really close friend...

I used to have a curable cancer and it was hell. I honestly am okay with cancer jokes though, and I make a few myself. But, to post it online so the world can see it? I'm sorry, I don't horridly dislike this, but people will get offended. You can bet your money on that, some people have actually had family members that got this disease.

Wow that's just the meanest thing I have ever read kick rocks and eat dirt!

Laugh out loud to howevers got a big head. Nice One

Amazing I am going to use this loads laugh out loud

This is great! Really laughed my ass off

I can't wait to do that one

That's true this one is totally funny, I almost got a stomach ach for laughing so hard!

Haha my mom put fruit loops in color coded order... Made me laugh so hard! Love this!

That's so funny! Why can't it be in like the top 10 or something? Sheesh, either American's don't have a sense of humor, or we just can't seem to press the right button

Awesome! I love it! It's so funny, I don't understand why people don't think it's funny. It should definitely be on the top 30+, I think it's really awesome!

I'm sitting in Mythology class right now, so that's pretty epic.

Laugh out loud his one is a doozie and a double wammy

This one is pretty good, I'm surprised there are no comments!

Stupid Joke This Joke Sounds Like Something Yo Mamma would Say!

This one is it

Wow I love this diss so much I used it on all my friends they found it hilarious and I told them to come onto this sight to look at the best disses ever?!?!

Jesus that's good
Said it to my girlfriend

Oh my god! I love this and I am so totally gonna use it!

That is pretty dang awesome! A fantastic insult! I love this! Totally going to use it! didn't expect somethign to be this good, but it was completly awesome!

My sister and I used to say this to people who just snobby attitudes and thought they were God's gift. I shut them up every time.

Ha ha that was rude laugh out loud

Funny stuff man made me laugh so loud I woke my dog up

This is so funny! My little brother wanted to play cards with me and I didn't want to but he kept asking me and I said that^ LMAO

I could use this on a coupple people. Some of them are so annoying and they just need that thing to make them shut the hell up. Especially at school.

ROFL when I read it I couldn't stop laughing laugh out loud nice way to make someone understand they need to stfu :P rofl but this one is awesome! HILARIOUS :] I'm so gonna use it on my sisters.

Clearly you were the one who dragged them through dumbass forest

I Died laughing from this one. COMPLETE GENIUS! Gotta use this on a hater sometime soon...

I used this on one of my friends and she didn't get it.
...
she got drug through the forest a few times.

Man that was so funny not

It is an anti humor joke it isn't supost to be funny at all...

Why is this "joke" even in the top 50? It is not even remotely funny.

Nice, you need to
Translate to hindi

Ohh yeah! Now that's what I'm talking about, dude! I an so gonna use this on like, a gazillion people!

The only one that made me laugh, Im probably gonna use it at some point xD Genious!

BEST YO MAMMA JOKE EVER. I DON'T NORMALLY LAUGH A LOT, BUT THIS ONE CRACKED ME UP!

Never cried while laughing before but that made made me! Who ever thought this up is a pure geneius and my thanks go to you! I will use this till I die... Then have it on my grave

Haha.. Made me remember my boyfriend's ex!

its funny a friend of mine keeps saying am I pretty now I know what to tell her

This is absolutely hilarious! LOVE IT SO MUCH! Absolute genuis!

! That's just like, laugh out loud!, had the best argument with this nerd and I TOTALLY won!

I can not believe it

, I'm laughing on silent mode!

Funny compared to Chuck Norris can do anything!

It was so funny it remined me to tell your mum

Haha, this is like that episode of South Park, "An Elephant Makes Love To A Pig". Loved That episode, I'm so saying this to someone, that's hilarious.

So so funny I croaked up when I read this! 😝😂

A feasibly sensible joke about life, death and everything inbetween. Excellent

Nice and snappy! Good to say to a girl that thinks too much of herself

This is the best joke so far on here! I love it like it no love it!

That... Is beautiful. Even more-so because they person you've said it to would hardly understand.
I love taking the "You're an idiot" grounds on someone with something like that.

Said it to my friend didn't have a clue but my teacher was cracking up!

Hilarious! I can't wait to use this the next time I'm in line somewhere. Wish I could've used this today when the stinky guy behind me at the bank hunched over me like he was about to hump. Lmfao, great one!

Oh my god I'm laughing so hard I can't get over this one I think its hilarious how is this not at least in the top ten?

Why is this not rated higher?

Makes me laugh every time! I don't have much of a sense of humor but this one cracked me up. I just get a picture of someone actually being baptised in sea world... :D

This is so funny whoever made it up is a friken genius:]

! Funniest thing I have Heard All Day! Still laughing! Ha Ha!

That is so awesome

Too funny there's this girl in my class and we hate each other I also bitchslapped her. Anyway she wears so much bronzer she looks orange this will work perfectly on her.

There's a fine line between tan and looking like you rolled in Doritos!

"you must be so rich in Vitamin C, that you looks so Orange! On your skin tone...

oh snap this is perfect thing for a girl to say to someone hitting on her, it's so cold.

Oh that hurts what an awesome brush off dude!

That is awesome. Really funny! I'll remember that one next time! Cause it is really hilarious!

I love this! I'm so using this on people at school :D I can only imagine their reaction... He'd probably react like a girl too

Ahaha. The best insult here. Made me vote. Really like your website here.

I'm so gonna use on a girl 2tommorow at school that I hate so much. Thanks for the brilliant diss! 👍👍👍👍👍

The best diss can't wait till tomorrow because there is this girl who gets on my friends nerve and mine and I can use this joke

I said this to the person who's bulling me... he said "i um... well you... ugh you win" I celebrated so hard that I slapped him XD hahahahahaha I still hate that smoking freak XD

No more like "you're so ugly not even apes want to adopt you" Love this one :-)

Yo dude who ever your gonna say that to will infact be insultin apes!

This lady's grammar is a stupid joke.

I have an autistic nephew and he's super talk an doesn't smart he just doesn't talk so this is a really stupid joke

Dude that's messed up... My brother is autistic

I have used this one plenty of times an its just as funny every time laugh out loud

Pretty good. I can just picture this woman running down to the buffet, knocking all these people out of her way.

Best one why is this not number one best joke I've heard in my life

Oh my gosh! This is the best diss ever. Really got me laughing hella hard! What would the next size up in pant size be? Like: hey does anyone have some butter handy so this lady can fit into her pants?

Wow, this will actually encourage people to lose some weight!

I love it I used it on some one at my home place

Said this to my friend and she started crying😂

Haha can't wait to say this one.

Haha, great joke.. Its funny because it offended the idiots who went to a offensive website then bitched because they was offended

This is just cruel

You need some ice for that burn!

I heard it as, that girls bush is so thick it looked like she has buckwheat in a leg lock.

... Oh my God, that was just overkill. Still can't stop laughing. Laugh out loud

Good one to say to girls

Your so fat dora can't even explore you

O mai lord, I friken dissed a ugly fat bully with this cracked up joke, great job you deserve 2nd for this shiz...

Hilarious! Why is this 85, it has to be 15th at LEAST!

Haha to funny, going to use this one

Why isn't this higher up this is really funny

Why isn't this higher?

Nice! I used this today on my contractor who is a wannabe funny kinda a guy. But I said it this way:

Look man just cause your life is a joke doesn't mean you're funny, alright.

Okay this is perfect I know someone who always tries to be funny this will work great!

Awesome! I will use this! This is great when you're in a dissing fight! Thanks! I also got another one. Try this one: Your life is a mistake. LOL

This diss makes my friends diss sound like
Its stupid lolollololollololol as soon as I saw this big paragraph without even reading it I knew it was going to be a good 1

Ah haha love this this kid at my school just cried and never took the piss out of me again

, cnt stop laughing @ this one

Awesome joke! I've never heard anything that original! Keep up the good work!

That's awesome! Honest! If I said that to someone they would be speechless because its hard to think what to say its so good! Well done to you! You deserve to win!

That's so stupid man

Best joke over!

Your teeth are so rotten when you smile the traffic goes faster and no one gets a chance to cross

That's peek seriously that's funny trust me I'm gonna use this on a monkey shagger called Katy because her teeth are quite yellow

So cool, I'll use it on my 7 year old brother he seriously needs to brush his teeth.
THANKS for the insult.

Wow that was messed up. I would not say that to my worst enemy ever. So wrong. So wrong.

WOW... That is so hurtful. I should use this on my enemy... He is going DOWN. THIS IS HARSH

Wow... Harsh.. Even to me and I'm atheus... That's not even clever its just mean but still funny I would not use it but I would tell all my friends about it and watch them laugh

My mom's a racecar driver. SO that's why I didn't like this one.. So sad... But it's a good one even thought my situation.

I KNOW your MOTHER DOSE

Yeah there more important than my enemies

Amazing, me and my friends had a right laugh using this thanks!

Hilarious mate! LOVE IT! that was so ' EPIC! Oh lord

Laugh out loud. That's hilarious! Could not stop laughing for 15 minutes.

I work at a airport tried this and they went away! BRILLIANT!

I am going to use this one on my ex boyfriend every time I see him!

This is awesome, I could use this on my friend who always uses these types of jokes on me, I'm probably gonna get slapped for it though.

Absolute Classic. Something that can be said as though you yourself have come up with it.

Brilliant! This had me laughing all night. It's so simple it still gonna hurt! I must use this soon

This was amazing! I laughed so hard I laughed all morning! Just the most brilliant thing I've heard in a long time

I hate everybody so this is great! I play WoW and people piss me off to no end on this game, so this is going to work great!

I this quote so much, I hate everybody so this really works.

To insult the person this lines will be the best.

I am gonna say that to my cousin caz he is a nerd so yea!