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The Top Ten
1Your birth certificate is an apology from the condom factory More comments about Your birth certificate is an apology from the condom factory
2Shut up, you'll never be the man your mother is
3You must have been born on a highway cuz thats where most accidents happen More comments about You must have been born on a highway cuz thats where most accidents happen
4It looks like your face caught on fire and someone tried to put it out with a fork
5You are so ugly that when your mama dropped you off at school she got a fine for littering
6You're so ugly Hello Kitty said goodbye to you.
7Your family tree is a cactus because everybody on it is a prick
8If you were twice as smart, you'd still be stupid
9Do you have to leave so soon? I was just about to poison the tea.
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11I hear when you were a child your mother wanted to hire somebody to take care of you, but the mafia wanted too much.
12Your so ugly when you popped out the doctor said aww what a treasure and your mom said yeah lets bury it
13We all sprang from apes, but you didn't spring far enough.
14Out of 100,000 sperm, you were the fastest?
15I would ask how old you are, but I know you can't count that high.
16If you really want to know about mistakes you should ask your parents
17You must be the arithmetic man; you add trouble, subtract pleasure, divide attention, and multiply ignorance.
18Your mamma so fat she has to wear 2 watches because she covers two time zones
19I could eat a bowl of alphabet soup and crap out a smarter comeback than what you just said
20Hey, you have somthing on your chin... 3rd one down
21Is that your face? Or did your neck just throw up?
22You're so fat the only letters of the alphabet you know are KFC
23The only positive thing about you is your HIV status
24When you were born, the police arrested your dad, the doctor slapped your mom, animal control euthanized your brother, and A&E made a documentary that saved your life.
25Your momma so fat, when she went to a doctor, she stepped on a scale and the doctor said Hey, thats my phone number
26With a face like yours, I wish I was blind
27Can I borrow your face? My arse is on holiday
28Yo mama so fat wen she jumped in the ocean the whales started singin We Are Family
29Do you still love nature....despite what it did to you?
30Why don't you check up on eBay and see if they have a life for sale.
31Here's 20 cents, call all your friends and give me back the change
32You're so fat you need cheat codes to play Wii Fit
33Your mom is so stupid she tried to wake a sleeping bag
34Yo mama so fat she's got more chins thin a chinese phone book
35I may be fat but you're ugly and I can diet.
36You're so fake that Barbie is more real than you
37Why dont you shut up and give that hole in your face a chance to heal
38Your mom just called me, and she asked, that on your way home, you pick up a loaf of bread, bag of milk and some condoms, so she doesn't make the same mistake, twice.
39Look, you aint funny. Your life is just a joke.
40Why don't you slip into something more comfortable? Like a coma
41You're so stupid you got fired from the m&m factory for throwing out all the w's
42Your momma's so ugly she turned Medusa to stone
43I wish cancer on you and all your family
44You only annoy me when you're breathing.
45Your asinine simian countenance alludes that your fetid stench has anulled the anthropoid ape species diversity.
46Ever since I have seen you in your family tree, I have wanted to cut it down.
47Marriage at a motel is more appealing than the likes of you. What are you, anyways? You look like a joint between a mutilated ape, and a visible fart.
48Your momma is so ugly... she gotta be your momma
49Yo mama so ugly she scared the crap out of the toilet
50Yo mammas so fat you could slap her legs and ride the waves
51You're so ugly you make the second ugliest person in the world look like a super model
52You're so stupid you tried to put m&ms in alphabetical order!
53You didn't fall out of the stupid tree. You got drug through dumbass forest.
54Your head is so big you have to step into your shirts
55I called your boyfriend gay and he hit me with his purse
56Are you always an idiot or just when I'm around?
57You're so ugly when you were born the doctors didn't know if they should put you in a cradle or a cage
58Stop bullying fat people, they have enough on their plate
59Yo mama's so fat that she's got smaller fat people orbiting around her
60You're so ugly, apes want to adopt you
61Two wrongs don't make a right, take your parents as an example
62I wouldn't piss on you, even if you were on fire.
63You're so fat you had to be baptised in Sea World
64Your ears are so big when you stand on a mountain they look like trophy handles
65Your mother's teeth are so yellow, I cant believe it's not butter
66The moment you were born, a time paradox was created. The world will explode because of you!
67Your mom must have a really loud bark!
68You're so stupid, brain surgeons are having a hard time
69Question: How could a person like you lose 50 pounds of ugly fat in 1 second? Answer: By cutting off your head!
70You couldn't hit water if you fell out of a boat
71Go away I was looking at something better than you
72Yo mamma is so fat, her pants size is Bitch lose some weight.
73"Dude you're fat" "It runs in the family" "Mate, no one runs in your family"
74Nice tan, orange is my favourite colour
75You was born on a motorway cause that's where most accidents happen
76Your mom's so ugly she made Chuck Norris have a heart attack
77You're like STDs, nobody wants you, everyone hates you and it proves your parents should have used protection.
78You look as if a pig and a elephant got married, and you're their offspring.
79You so dumb you thought a quarterback was a refund
80Dude stop acting like a girl. My bad, forgot you are one!
81Your teeth are so yellow traffic slows down when you smile
82You're so big when you jump for joy you get stuck
83Everyone has a right to be ugly but you abuse the privilege.
84The only way I'd lay naked with you would be in a mass grave
85You're so fat you gave your mom a heart attack
86Please, I could remove 90% of your 'beauty' with a tissue
87What was that? You have a brain freeze? But honey doesn't that actually require a brain first?
88You're so fat, when you run it looks like you're walking
89Your mama is so fat it takes her 3 hours just to get out of her car
90If I had a penny for every brain cell you have I'd have nothing
91I bet you fart rainbows you plumpy platypus
92Yo mama is so fat, when she goes to an all you can eat buffet, they have to install speed bumps
93The only thing that goes erect when I'm near you is my middle finger.
94I'll be honest; I can't tell if your mom is even human.
95You're so poor when I walked in your front door I fell out the back door
96Your mum is so stupid she needed to get home with the 44 bus so she took the 22 one twice
97I have a brother who weighs fourty-five pounds. His weight is your IQ.
98Your mama is so fat she wore high heels and struck oil.
99You're so hairy you look like you have Bigfoot in a head lock
100Yo mamma so dirty she makes mud look clean
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Posts About This List
Yo mamma jokes
This list was created 9 years, 7 days ago and has been voted on over 43,000 times. This top ten list contains 1,847 items, has been remixed 73 times and has been blogged about 16 times.
Updated Sunday, November 23, 2014
Updated Sunday, November 23, 2014
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