Top 10 Funniest Insults

The Top Ten
1 Roses are red violets are blue, God made me pretty, what happened to you?

Roses are red, violets are blue, but red can also mean the past tense of read, which is also read. And I can read about blue. But voilet is made by mixing red and blue together. And once you red this, I just blue your mind.

This is amazing and it should be "Roses are red violets are blue, God made me Amazing, What the hell happened to you?
By the way if it is Pretty only a girl can say they are pretty not a guy so AMAZING ok AMAZING

Wow that is low! I'd would really hate it if this were to be used on me like for real your talking about beauty that's something you don't mess with.

Roses are red violets are blue, he's for me not for you, if by chance you take my place, I'll take my fist and smash your face...

2 You're so poor I saw you kicking a can across the street I asked you what you were doing you said moving.

If I wanted to kill myself, I would climb up your ego and jump down to your IQ level.


Guy to Girl: Hey Babe, come with me and ill slip you 9 inches
Girl to Guy: I don't think you can get it up 3 times in a row...

"Can" I kick your ass instead that you'll end up having hemorrhoids?

I was laughing so loud I couldn't hear the fart coming out of my ass!

When I see you I think of a plastic bag, because it's disposable.

3 We can always tell when you are lying. Your lips move.

Everyone's lips move so essentially, you're not doing anything but looking like a complete tool in the process. Also, I be flossin was playing on my radio

Looking at a friend of mine who always takes me for granted like a HUGE JERK and is a horrible unapologetic excuse of a human being (I would call him an animal but I don't want to insult them because I LOVE animals).

I will have to use this on all of the teachers in the last day of school.

I would love to use this on my enemy but I'm meant to be the "nice girl".

4 Oh my God, look at you. Anyone else hurt in the accident

This is so funny I and totally going to use this when my uncles disses me again you wait because this insult will be used. I garden tee you that this is the best insult ever to be found please use it because I am

This is so funny! I am so going to use this on my friends when they're making fun of me again. I'll bet this will make them shut up.

I love this one totally using it on someone from my school, totally gonna shut them up!

It's so good I'm going to use it on all enemies that are kinda friends.

5 Oh, I'm sorry did I give you the impression that I wanted your opinion? It won't happen again

This one is great I like that it doesn't revolve around the target being the worst thing ever it's just a sharp point to someone that they aren't important.

6 Hey, I looked up a hobo in the dictionary and the definition was you

It's funny because it was true. I used to live under a tarp with my bicycle.

Well guess what? It was not me! A hobo is Kim Jong Un.

Yes! I did it on my friends there face turned red

I tried that on my sister and got slapped.

7 Yo mama so ugly when she looked in the mirror her reflection walked away

Her reflection walked away. Gesh, learn some proper English and throw the "is" at the beginning while you.'re at it. This is so ghetto that everyone I know would just give me a blank stare if I used it.

I don't understand you mama jokes. I mean your not insulting the person your insulting their mum. Shouldn't it be 'you' or 'your' instead of 'yo mama'? - Unnamed Google User Remade

Not even the mirror can stand looking at my momma.

Your mama so fat she walked past
The T.V. and I missed a 3hrs marathon

8 I would ask you how old you are but I know you can't count that high.

Nice one! :P Always wanted to try this, just waiting for the chance to try it! I totally agree with this one though.

Hey, I can use this on my math teacher, I don't really know why she took her degree in math, she is dumber than my brother.

I love this joke it is so funny. This kid who lives behind me always insults me and I insult him back!

This one really is funny questioning someone's intelligence-it rocks!

9 Hey, I just met you, girl you look crazy, what's brand's your makeup, crayola, maybe?

YAS LOVE IT! This one is more funny than insulting. Plus basing it off the song Call Me Maybe give this roast extra brownie points. Totally should use this on my friend and see how hard she laughs

I'm a girl myself, but I must give this insult credit.

Say this to sassy girls.

The best I every read

10 I'm busy now. Can I ignore you some other time?

That's awesome without being to insulting or hurtful to someones family or looks! I will use this today.

This joke is way better than the ther ones. I t's funny it makes sense and it doesn't sound like some three year old isn't trying to make fun of you...

And the comeback for this one is "The same way you ignore the fact that you're a douche? "

This is perfect to use on a mean boy at my school. Thanks!

The Contenders
11 The only way you'll ever get laid is if you crawl up a chicken's ass and wait.

That is a true burn. The one true burn. BURN! Be it Indian, Chinese or just leant on a soldering iron, it's a BUR!

Wow this is perfect. "Yo mama" jokes are cruel and unfunny. But this? This is comic GOLD!

What if the bloke you say it to says: 'You're good with the chicken's arse, I'm virgin by choice.'?

This is great just great I absolutely love it! I'm gonna use this on everyone I know!

12 Your so weak that you can't rip a piece of paper

Not a good one man

I'm a skinny boi

13 You want the stick? Fetch!

That's insulting towards dogs!

Forget the ugly stick. You were born in a ugly forest. Chanel Marimuthu

14 Please take a break from fooling yourself

This one is thick boi

15 I'd like to help you out. Which way did you come in?

Used it already! Very good insult to use on people, love it you should use it to it messes people up a lot. Amazing!

Haha that's funny it would take a while for the person to catch on! Laugh out loud

16 You so ugly when who were born the doctor threw you out the window and the window threw you back

Laugh out loud this is the funniest one I've seen in awhile!

That's hilarious. "Ma'am, I tried to get rid of... it, but the window threw it back." Mother: "Dang it."

Ahh laugh out loud an old classic!

So funny laugh out loud

17 Yo mama so stupid she still can't figure out how to tie her shoes

Plus some moms are special needs and they can't. Offensive to all moms

18 You married Barney

I don't get it but I'm sure someone will find it funny...

I love Barney, he is the love of my life. I wish I can marry someone as hot as him.

If I was your mirror I would break down; seven years of brain damage for you!

I think one should be "you're so ugly, hello kitty said goodbye to you! "

19 Oxygen thief
20 I believe in respect for the dead; in fact, I could only respect you if you WERE dead.

He or she might only be confused because she is stupid enough to be your enemy. You are too good to waste your time on that person.

Very cruel. What if I tell my boyfriend this...

21 Your mums so fat not even Dora could explore her

Dora annoys the crap out of me. Hope I'm not alone

Just funny nothing else

Whoever said Dora annoys the crap outta them don't worry your not alone

Nice one! I hate Dora!

22 Your dad's condom is a bigger than your personality

Erm what the hell is this? I don't like the condom part but it is actually a good diss...

Awesome insult! I'mma be telling that to the next guy who pisses me off.

That's gone too far

Fire in the hoes!

23 Did your mum drop you on your head when you were little cause you don't seem that bright

I personally made this up. It's spool funny

24 Fartpooh

Oh my lord this is just... Brilliant...

25 Dumbass

My ass smells like cherry coke on a sundernesday because of the time I drove my donkey to work on a twinkie plane... I just said mommy in the bath tub with batman

Just classic use of insults since it always leaves your enemy slack dropped of and pissed off. I did this on my mates and they were owned

I started laughing my ass off when all I saw was dumbass. That's a word not a insult

I got one (breaths in) with a voice like yours I wish I was deaf...

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