Top Ten Asinine Things to Say If You Chanced Upon Two Secret Lovers

The Top Ten

1 [To the opposite sex species] In an awed voice : "Wow, I really admire you! Just a while ago you were kissing me, now you're on your second course!"

Instant break-up tool! Uh, don't use it.

2 Sneer nastily and say : "In a few minutes, you guys'll ditch each other. Have fun!"

3 Cough to draw attention and say apologetically, "You know, I was just taking a video of you two kissing..."

They'll kill you... Fly! Unless you wanna get your ass kicked.

4 Say cheerily, "Both of your moms know you both are here!"

Wow, what a shock!

5 Stick out your tongue at the girl and yell, "Ugly porcupine who's in love with Mr. Right!"

She'll start sobbing and he'll start smirking. Ah, true love...

6 Predict confidently, "Both of you are gonna pass gas in a few seconds. You know, girl, he loves the way you fart. Told me a couple of times."

"I love the way you fart, girl."
"What the heck?! "
"Uh, no - no, I didn't mean -"
"You nasty sicko! "
"Hey, calm down, er -"
"I've ever met someone so -"
"Fine, sucker, you fart like a skunk."

7 Look with concern at the other sex human, "Hey, love, dating five guys at the same time is cheating."

This, I feel awful laughing about.

8 [Fart enthusiastically] "This kind of smell makes love more romantic. Carry on, carry on."

9 "Which one of you is cheating on the other? Honestly, I'm confused."

The Cheating Syndrome is on.

10 Chuckle knowingly, "I've a nasty feeling that your love story is gonna take a Romeo-Juliet turn. Now, who was the one who suicides..."

Run as quick as you can and leave the country after uttering these words of benediction.

The Contenders

11 "It fills us with determination."

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