The Top Ten
GREAT! I love this! I am so going to use it on everybody! This is the best insult in the world! I don't think anybody will hate this diss!
I don't like insulting people. I guess I'm different from most people. - Oliveleaf
Nice! I actually laughed at this one! I might try this one on a woman although it will fail horribly. I want to see their reaction!
Amazing, I used this on an idiot from my school! I love this website, it's really cool.
The second I saw this I cracked up! - lionsforlifeV 908 Comments
I Said This To My Low Life Of A Friend Who Would Always Take The Piss Out Of Me And He Said "What's A Condom? " I Instantly Replied "What Would Of Stopped The Biggest Mistake In The World"
This is awesome I love it I tried it on this girl and people around up cracked up laughing at her facial expression haha you should of been there when it happened hey I have a good one on how to annoy someone stare at them until they say what the hell are you looking at then you say I'll let you no when I figure it out
My favorite insult for debate. Especially for a certain ass cap on my team who just loves being a pain in my neck. Whoever thought of this comment deserves to be a billionaire.
creativeV 482 Comments
I WILL USE THIS JOKE TO EVERY SINGLE PERSON I SEE ANYWHERE I GO IN MY WHOLE ENTIRE LIFE!
You better hope you don't see me then because ill punch you in the face - YOSHIA2121
I'm going to so use this one! This one of the BEST I've heard so far.
This is the funniest this I've heard all day!
BURN! - lionsforlifeV 999 Comments
I'm gonna have to use this one cause it's the funniest one on here
This is genius... Pure genius... I have to use this the next time I see someone I hate
This is the best one on here should be at the top it is so great I'm gonna definitely use it all the time!
It's so good at destroying my enemy on the battle fieldV 606 Comments
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! That is awesome. Im gonna use this on my enemy when the time comes... or maybe even tomorrow! LOLOL Love it. Whoever first said this was a genius. (:
And you will expect it to work? Good luck kid. Good luck in life in general. - GGGofluckyourself
Laugh out loud I used this comeback on a girl and she got offended badly she went crying to her mommy any way love THE COMEBACK
genious! lol this is a good one and I'm so gonna use it!
Yoo this sickV 471 Comments
That was so tight I couldn't even come up with that and I'm eminem
This is serious I'll use this one aww the person is gonna die when he hears this
this one is a killer by kush
hahahahaha who put you on this one man you got crack up connections
heeV 680 Comments
This is absolutely brilliant. I can picture it happening. I really hope I can remember this one forever because I'm sure I'm going to need it eventually.
That was seriously funny who ever came up with that is a legend laugh out loud
I laugh so much at this one! Laugh out loud
Dude this was really cool
This is a classicV 319 Comments
Say it in a Mychonny accent and it becomes GENIUS AND WILL own ANYONE!
I love this; its great. I'd rate this higher than a three, the others on the list didn't make me laugh as much.
I could use this as a joke with friends. I could use a slight re-mix of this when leaving a conversation after an argument. I could use this anywhere! - leniv
hmm niceV 174 Comments
This one is epic, can't believe no one has realized this yet! Great twist at the end
Laugh out loud this is hilarious! This is funny in any situation and is also useful if someone who is butt-ugly is targeting you, but the results could get you into a fight...
I couldn't stop laughing. This is a funny insult that I would use on a lot of people because their mothers would've said the same thing!
WhatV 227 Comments
I used it on my friend and she didn't get it. She really didn't spring at all - BrokenSong
this is so perfect for my one enemy he's goin down thank you so much
I actually spat out my drink when I read this! Made me laugh a lot! Still chuckling about it now!
If you could replace sprang with evolveV 114 Comments
Ah good jk it’s HOR
Oh ym gosh! This is like one fo the jokes I shouldn't laugh at, but I'm going to anyways
Red Forman is a winner. How many times has he insulted people with this? How many times has it fit? 'enough said.
I started cracking up seeing it this high on the list and just seeing the word "dumbass"...
A classic! Always use it haha. The absolute best of all time. People will say this always no matter what
So simpleV 376 Comments
Hilarious still laughing the best joke ever since number 1 I used it on my friends but he didn't get it but the rest of the table got it perfectly and started laughing so hard we got in trouble
Stupid but understandable! I like it. It took me a minute to understand but I finally got it! :) laugh out loud
This was so mean that when I said it to my ex boyfriend he walked off and stated crying
Your to fat that u can't even get in your house because u eat your food too mich till u faryed avrything out even your mama u eatV 53 Comments
This one's really good because it's two insults in one. Really good for saying to a mean girl that's sensitive to their age.
This one was mine and I put it here, is it bad if I said this to my teacher and my parents. Sad sdf sdfg
This is so funny I'm going to use this on my enemy he is like a couple years older than me so thank you for putting out this joke because its really god thank you a lot
Think about it mean girl sensitive about age BOOM!V 137 Comments
I've always wanted to know how it was possible for some of the most horrible and stupidest people in the world managed to win the race against 100,000 others, It makes me wonder what all of those others would of made...
Hahaha I said something like this to this boy in my class I mean seriously some people were dropped as babies but he was CLEARLY thrown at he wall!
It's Hilarious! and a bit mean.. I could tell this to anyone I'm sure they will laugh as much as me :D... even my mother did!
I will say that to someone slow... LMAO, LOL... :DV 51 Comments
That is so cruel... Laugh out loud
Haha using this all the time, you'll never forget this Xx
LMFAO that's so hilarious I'm going to use it the next time I want to hurt someone BADLY
It is so funny I am going to burn himV 142 Comments
I laughed so hard my face turned purple and I blacked out for a sec... Then I kept on laughing
lol! I used this on this guy at school and even HE laughed so hard he fell over!
Haha this is so funny I can't even stand it I love it so much lol! I'm gonna use that on my dad. Hopefully I don't get a slap lol
Same! I need to use this! - lionsforlifeV 137 Comments
That's the best 1 I herd in a long time
This is the best one I have heard so far. I'm going to use this. Thanks! P. S my friend used this and a guy cried. A lot of people use it at school
I laughing so hard that I almost pissed on my pants and I could not talk
This is the best insult ever I use it on everyone why is this not number 1V 105 Comments
Hilarious! Why is this 85, it has to be 15th at LEAST!
Haha to funny, going to use this one
So funny I am so gonna use this when this kid messages me back he is already pissed off with this he is going to have a spazz attack I just did it and he is so mad I mean mad like spazz attack mad yeah that mad
I wish I came up with thatV 364 Comments
! Funniest thing I have Heard All Day! Still laughing! Ha Ha!
This is so funny whoever made it up is a friken genius:]
That is so awesome
That is just too much...lol,hahaV 64 Comments
Oh this is hot
I'm using this on my dad
I thought that was funny. I'm totally using that diss in a dissing contest
MMM! OH SNAP! - lionsforlifeV 81 Comments
took me a long time to chose and I'll probably change my mind in ten minutes but this is awesome - CaptainComedy17
K that one was so bad! Haha nice one though I'm so gonna say this to my friend
Lmafo I LOVED This it worked I said and someone gave me this look and they looked like jerk!
so goodV 83 Comments
Call the fire department, cause you just got burned
Classic insult, I don't remember who actually said it first..
It is amazingly funny! I totally am gonna share this with my bff! AMAZING! HILARIOUS
The best now call the fire department to make sure they put out the burn on that poor kids lifeV 52 Comments
Lol dumb not funny but is
Ha! This is great. The feels. Lol
Lol I can't stop laughing
SAVAGE!V 3 Comments
HAHA SO FUNNY! THIS IS FAR THE MOST BEST JOKE ever! I SAID IT TO MY BRO AND HE STARTED CRYING LIKE HELL
I did the same to my bro and he cry out loud
Say something bad but it still funny
Oh I said that one to a kid named seth carter and he kept his mouth shut when he heard me say what I just said.
It's a good one because person is ugly and you want to be blind how they lookV 79 Comments
this is so cool! who thought of this? I know someone like this and I never got to explain my thoughts about him. - lala222
Love it, this is a first class insult.
Best one ever I am so using this on my math class friend. It's hilarious
I LOVE IT! I USED THIS ON MY FRIEND, AND HE FREAKED OUT!V 118 Comments
A feasibly sensible joke about life, death and everything inbetween. Excellent
Nice and snappy! Good to say to a girl that thinks too much of herself
This is the best joke so far on here! I love it like it no love it!
That's just lit hereV 45 Comments
Amazing, me and my friends had a right laugh using this thanks!
Hilarious mate! LOVE IT! That was so ' EPIC! Oh lord
Laugh out loud. That's hilarious! Could not stop laughing for 15 minutes.
This one is so cool I’m gonna diss this boyyyV 37 Comments
That would make someone cry, I'm a hurtful person but this joke makes me seem like a nice person, It's funny and extremely mean
OMG! I FREAKING LOVE THIS! I'M GONNA SAY IT TO YOU!
THIS IS so AMAZING. PERFECT, ORIGINAL! CAN PICTURE SOMEONE THAT UGLY, ACTUALLY I KNOW SOMEONE THAT UGLY! BEST EVER!
This was hilarious I used it on someone and they didn't talk to me ever since lmfaoV 47 Comments
Absolute AMAZING one! The lad went walking away like his mothers FAT backside
Oh my gawd! Hilarious, I said this to my little brother and he got really baffled because I don't think he even knows what eBay is! Whew, I'm still cracking up.
I said it to my crush (That I used to hate). All he can said is "stupid hoe". Lmfao! Then I said if he's so stupid that brain surgeon are having a hard time. God damn! He doesn't give any respond. He can't say anything!
LOLV 79 Comments
Very good - excellent for people who don't have friends! (we all know someone like that, don't we? )
Wicked I would use that on nearly all my enemys
That was one of the funniest on this page, literally had me on the floor dying. I could use this on my enemies or my cousins or my sister, and I bet they will give me a look, but it'll be worth it
I used this with my enemy he cried LLOl he isa LLV 31 Comments
That is awesome! I can use it on a bully!
Lol pretty good m8 I'm gonna use this on my enemy called Idoge LOL I'm still laughing by the way just so you know I sorta like k-mart better than walmart but whatever still hilarious
Best insult ever # I'm real#roar
awesomeV 8 Comments
This is a funny insult. DOUBLE HIT! I told this to my ex girlfriend. She was really sexy and she liked me, and now I can't talk to her. IT WAS STILL WORTH IT
WAY TOO EPIC! How did you even invent such a cruel insult? You must be such a d* in real life
This was surprisingly satisfying, not only does it offend them behavior wise but also offends them in a decent manner instead of trying to insult in a rude way..
Wow just wowV 63 Comments
Laugh out loud definitely using dis one
I used this on a guy in my class that makes fun of my name. He said "oh yeah, well least I'm not the ugly one here! " Then I used one of the other insults higher on the list and said "I could eat alphabet soup and crap out a better comeback". He cried later that day. Now everyone in class calls me cameback bill
That was the worlds best diss I wish this true to all commenters but me
Best oneV 49 Comments
Laugh out loud THAT WAS HILARIOUS THREE THUMBS UP MAN! BRAVO BRAVO!
Funny ill use it on everyone I know, almost as funny as number fifty eight
Rofl. This one cracked me up. I'll use it for sure
Gee dude your girlfriend woof - ElijahHilemanV 45 Comments
I love this one, I could use this in a lot of people from my class, all the girls in my class look like clowns, just so you know what I am dealing with here.
Jeez I'm so using this LMFAO rating is ten out of ten
This would totally work on a bunch of mean girls in my class that wear so much make up but still look ugly. I mean, isn't make up supposed to make you look better not worse
WOWV 53 Comments
This insult is so cruel that it could make your mother cry. If you ever say this to someone they will either punch you or burst into a weeping ball of nothing. Nobody can say this insult sucks!
Haha did this to some random girl that I liked and she was like I love you
One of THOSE people that like to kiss people that are angry at them. - 404_name_missing
Lolololololol 20 minutes later I'm still laughing. I'm going to see how many of my friends cry with this.
Every person I tell this to cries from laughing - KayleeKicklighterV 52 Comments
This one is pretty good, I'm surprised there are no comments!
HAHA, No one ever uses the term "visible fart". Awesome writer!
Lol you could just say You look like a joint between a mutilated ape, and a visible fart and it still be insulting
Funny but how about this...
Me: you need to get a life
Person: I have one!
Me : oh sorry I probably should have been more persific for you, I ment one that matters x so sorry for the miss understanding x
It is so funny it made me fall of my chair because my brother started crying
This is epic - using it tomorrow for sure. Whoever made this is an epic genius
This ones a total puller when you wanna bust the hell outta your opponent in a crisp sentence...
yasV 54 Comments
I said this to a guy at my school and he actually cried afterward. It is so cruel that it could make anyone burst into tears at that moment! This insult has to be the greatest insult you can ever say to someone you hate!
This ones straight up cruel- AMAZING
LMFAO, I'm using this
This is a really good oneV 20 Comments
I think this should be added because it is witty with a gallon of humor. It's perfect if somebody just told you to die. This comeback is something they won't expect. - Dragonlindy
... And starve to death ON THE way down.
My response to this insult would be, "Said the person that just used the intelligence quotient and a form of human personality to represent a physical height." - zacktheripr
This is amazingV 67 Comments
Now that's a risky one... because the answer could be: "Yes only in your present, to make you feel you're not the only one."
It's very nice man for people like us
Haha AWESOME JOKE USED IT ON MY ARCH ENEMY GOOD ONE
Its ok, but it didn't workV 8 Comments
That is so cool, I could use it against my enemy in bahrain!
Amazing. Just amazing. I have a feeling that a Chinese made that one up originally. This one needs to be fifth and traded out with that hello kitty one, cause those who don't watch hello kitty... Well 'me', wont get the meaning. But this one is great. Nice job.
I have used this on a couple of different occasions and I got the best reaction from it! :) And older sort of insult but still extremely funny and you will always get a great reaction from it!
The funniest thing I've ever heard in my life. EVER!V 33 Comments
I'm gonna use this on a derp-ass at school
I'd insult you but it seems to me nature beat me to it
ABOUT AS SHARP AS BOTH ENDS OF A DUMP
not badV 1 Comment
Just simply funny it makes sense that's what I like about it very good insult, no doubt about it! :-)
Yup I'm gonna use this
Kinda funny that
AMAZINGV 10 Comments
This is awful... Awfully funny. I'm sorry... This made me laugh so ' hard. I mean, yeah, stop bullying people in general. But, MUAHAHAHA.
THIS MADE ME LMAO SO HARD ITS AWFUL BUT HILARIOUS! IT MADE ME LAUGH SO HARD I NEARLY CHOCKED! LMAO I FELL OUT OF MY CHAIR ONTO THE GROUND! Love this one I'm gonna use it A LOT this is definitely my favourite joke YET :D oahahah if you didn't notice I'm still laughing.
Laugh out loud When I saw this, I cracked up! Best one I've seen here
Can't think of a response for this one--I'd just stand there if someone said it to me - KayleeKicklighterV 47 Comments
oh snap this is perfect thing for a girl to say to someone hitting on her, it's so cold.
That is awesome. Really funny! I'll remember that one next time! Cause it is really hilarious!
Oh that hurts what an awesome brush off dude! - Bec
If I was a) a girl and b) remotely good-looking enough to get hit on, I would use this. I might also add that nobody cares enough about the other person to bury them when they die.V 2 Comments
Said it to my friend didn't have a clue but my teacher was cracking up!
Hilarious! I can't wait to use this the next time I'm in line somewhere. Wish I could've used this today when the stinky guy behind me at the bank hunched over me like he was about to hump. Lmfao, great one!
Wonderful! Another insult that will completely confuse people in my grade, making them think that I am actually smarter than I probably am. Best thing is, I can probably say this to a teacher of mine who isn't too bright and make my genius friend crack up, where everyone else is sitting there dumbfounded.
Absolutely amazing, using this to everyone I know is a total idiot, this needs to be on the front page!V 47 Comments
Funny compared to Chuck Norris can do anything!
When Chuck Norris jumps into a pool, he doesn't get wet, the pool gets Chuck Norris
Chuck Norris can cut a knife with hot butter
Lol ahh this made me laugh kkkV 11 Comments
Oh my god I'm laughing so hard I can't get over this one I think its hilarious how is this not at least in the top ten?
Makes me laugh every time! I don't have much of a sense of humor but this one cracked me up. I just get a picture of someone actually being baptised in sea world... :D
Why is this not rated higher?
At least they got saved... - RedTheGremlinV 30 Comments
Absolute Classic. Something that can be said as though you yourself have come up with it.
Brilliant! This had me laughing all night. It's so simple it still gonna hurt! I must use this soon
This was amazing! I laughed so hard I laughed all morning! Just the most brilliant thing I've heard in a long time
LMFAO pure beauty.V 31 Comments
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Top Remixes (130)
2. Your family tree is a cactus, because everybody on it is a prick.
3. Hey, you have something on your chin...3rd one down.
2. Hey, you have something on your chin...3rd one down.
3. Yo mama so fat she's got more chins than a Chinese phone book.
2. You're like STDs, nobody wants you, everyone hates you and it proves your parents should have used protection.
3. I would ask how old you are, but I know you can't count that high.
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