The Top Ten
I WILL USE THIS JOKE TO EVERY SINGLE PERSON I SEE ANYWHERE I GO IN MY WHOLE ENTIRE LIFE!
You better hope you don't see me then because ill punch you in the face - YOSHIA2121
I'm going to so use this one! This one of the BEST I've heard so far.
This is the funniest this I've heard all day!
Ah, yes. A classic.1007 Comments
I Said This To My Low Life Of A Friend Who Would Always Take The Piss Out Of Me And He Said "What's A Condom? " I Instantly Replied "What Would Of Stopped The Biggest Mistake In The World"
This is awesome I love it I tried it on this girl and people around up cracked up laughing at her facial expression haha you should of been there when it happened hey I have a good one on how to annoy someone stare at them until they say what the hell are you looking at then you say I'll let you no when I figure it out
My favorite insult for debate. Especially for a certain ass cap on my team who just loves being a pain in my neck. Whoever thought of this comment deserves to be a billionaire.
THIS IS THE MOST FUNNIEST INSULT EVER!502 Comments
GREAT! I love this! I am so going to use it on everybody! This is the best insult in the world! I don't think anybody will hate this diss!
I don't like insulting people. I guess I'm different from most people. - Oliveleaf
Nice! I actually laughed at this one! I might try this one on a woman although it will fail horribly. I want to see their reaction!
Amazing, I used this on an idiot from my school! I love this website, it's really cool.
Its cold and short, best comeback ever. - tnscyn927 Comments
This is absolutely brilliant. I can picture it happening. I really hope I can remember this one forever because I'm sure I'm going to need it eventually.
That was seriously funny who ever came up with that is a legend laugh out loud
I laugh so much at this one! Laugh out loud
Dude this was really cool
I said this to my mom321 Comments
I'm gonna have to use this one cause it's the funniest one on here
This is genius... Pure genius... I have to use this the next time I see someone I hate
This is the best one on here should be at the top it is so great I'm gonna definitely use it all the time!
LOVE IT this is so funny!642 Comments
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! That is awesome. Im gonna use this on my enemy when the time comes... or maybe even tomorrow! LOLOL Love it. Whoever first said this was a genius. (:
And you will expect it to work? Good luck kid. Good luck in life in general. - GGGofluckyourself
Laugh out loud I used this comeback on a girl and she got offended badly she went crying to her mommy any way love THE COMEBACK
genious! lol this is a good one and I'm so gonna use it!
This was amazing I told it to my sister and she cracked up at the roast483 Comments
This one is epic, can't believe no one has realized this yet! Great twist at the end
Laugh out loud this is hilarious! This is funny in any situation and is also useful if someone who is butt-ugly is targeting you, but the results could get you into a fight...
I couldn't stop laughing. This is a funny insult that I would use on a lot of people because their mothers would've said the same thing!
This Is amazing, I am so gonna use this on every person that is bullying me247 Comments
Say it in a Mychonny accent and it becomes GENIUS AND WILL own ANYONE!
I love this; its great. I'd rate this higher than a three, the others on the list didn't make me laugh as much.
I could use this as a joke with friends. I could use a slight re-mix of this when leaving a conversation after an argument. I could use this anywhere! - leniv
I would think people would take this serious175 Comments
I laughed so hard my face turned purple and I blacked out for a sec... Then I kept on laughing
lol! I used this on this guy at school and even HE laughed so hard he fell over!
Haha this is so funny I can't even stand it I love it so much lol! I'm gonna use that on my dad. Hopefully I don't get a slap lol
Great I can not wait to use it on someone who is a big fat dick139 Comments
That was so tight I couldn't even come up with that and I'm eminem
This is serious I'll use this one aww the person is gonna die when he hears this
this one is a killer by kush
hahahahaha who put you on this one man you got crack up connections
I can not get over this one lol712 Comments
This is a Submarine Man insult. - I80
Lmao spongbob refernce I'm going to use this almost all the time
I've always wanted to know how it was possible for some of the most horrible and stupidest people in the world managed to win the race against 100,000 others, It makes me wonder what all of those others would of made...
Hahaha I said something like this to this boy in my class I mean seriously some people were dropped as babies but he was CLEARLY thrown at he wall!
It's Hilarious! and a bit mean.. I could tell this to anyone I'm sure they will laugh as much as me :D... even my mother did!52 Comments
took me a long time to chose and I'll probably change my mind in ten minutes but this is awesome - CaptainComedy17
I love this one
K that one was so bad! Haha nice one though I'm so gonna say this to my friend
That insult was hot84 Comments
Call the fire department, cause you just got burned
I tried this on this real annoying kid
Spoiler alert: nobody heard it.
Classic insult, I don't remember who actually said it first..
Technically NATURE DIDN'T MAKE YOU LOOK HOW YOU LOOK! Nature is the phenomena of the physical world collectively, including plants, animals, the landscape, and other features and products of the earth, as opposed to humans or human creations. Your parents and genetics are what forms most of your problems ; the environment can affect it too, but only by pollution and stuff like that, which are caused by humans only. - 123fortandbree57 Comments
That's the best 1 I herd in a long time
Wow, that's a definite OOF
That is so cold
I laughing so hard that I almost pissed on my pants and I could not talk103 Comments
A feasibly sensible joke about life, death and everything inbetween. Excellent
Nice and snappy! Good to say to a girl that thinks too much of herself
I have to use this one on Zande
This is the best joke so far on here! I love it like it no love it!50 Comments
This one is pretty good, I'm surprised there are no comments!
I laughed so hard I didn't make noise
Hey! I like apes (though they're OK), but why use them as an insult? Why? By they way, I saw a little white girl calling a big and tall black man an ape.14 Comments
Very good - excellent for people who don't have friends! (we all know someone like that, don't we? )
Wicked I would use that on nearly all my enemys
That was one of the funniest on this page, literally had me on the floor dying. I could use this on my enemies or my cousins or my sister, and I bet they will give me a look, but it'll be worth it
That's hilarious I'm gonna use it on the know it all kid in my class and I'll probably be considered a hero31 Comments
I said this to my mum and she said " yeah your right my mum is wrong" roasted by the way great burn
Laugh out loud definitely using dis one
I used this on a guy in my class that makes fun of my name. He said "oh yeah, well least I'm not the ugly one here! " Then I used one of the other insults higher on the list and said "I could eat alphabet soup and crap out a better comeback". He cried later that day. Now everyone in class calls me cameback bill
O man! wait till I tell my friend about this 1!
Abselountely rubbish can someon explain it
Pretty funny, didn't expect to like any of these, but this one was great! ^___^
This is off the chart's funny! !30 Comments
I'm in middle school, so everyone think they have a huge dick. I am definitely gonna use this.
This is the best thing I've heard I'm saying this to my friend
Wow this is good
Lol can wait to use this on my classmate!6 Comments
Said it to my friend didn't have a clue but my teacher was cracking up!
Hilarious! I can't wait to use this the next time I'm in line somewhere. Wish I could've used this today when the stinky guy behind me at the bank hunched over me like he was about to hump. Lmfao, great one!
Amazing, the fact that you created that and made it to where the person you would be speaking to would seem like an even bigger idiot is just so appealing. I wish this would go up in ranks, it would be the perfect insult to a perfectly inconvenient idiot.
Your monkey face makes it seem your scent killed someone? - MaxAurelius52 Comments
That would make someone cry, I'm a hurtful person but this joke makes me seem like a nice person, It's funny and extremely mean
OMG! I FREAKING LOVE THIS! I'M GONNA SAY IT TO YOU!
Loved it... can't wait to use this on my brother
THIS IS so AMAZING. PERFECT, ORIGINAL! CAN PICTURE SOMEONE THAT UGLY, ACTUALLY I KNOW SOMEONE THAT UGLY! BEST EVER!55 Comments
Oh this is hot
I'm using this on my dad
I would use this insult towards a very fat girl and lied about being on a diet. But she barely does any exercise at all, keeps on eating junk, complains about how fat and ugly she is by eating healthy and says "oh on a diet." She also LOVES to have a habit of harassing others by fat shaming people for no reason.
I shared this with my family and they all laughed so bed my sister fell off her chair and carried on laughing.87 Comments
That is awesome! I can use it on a bully!
Lol I'm gonna use this on this bully at school!
Best insult ever # I'm real#roar
Lol pretty good m8 I'm gonna use this on my enemy called Idoge LOL I'm still laughing by the way just so you know I sorta like k-mart better than walmart but whatever still hilarious10 Comments
Absolute AMAZING one! The lad went walking away like his mothers FAT backside
Holy so funny
Oh my gawd! Hilarious, I said this to my little brother and he got really baffled because I don't think he even knows what eBay is! Whew, I'm still cracking up.
I'm going to use this on my friend after we had an argument on discord84 Comments
Lol dumb not funny but is
Hee hee hee.
Ha! This is great. The feels. Lol
Lol I can't stop laughing4 Comments
That is so cool, I could use it against my enemy in bahrain!
THE WIT OF THIS. But knowing the remarkably low intellect of my peers, they probably wouldn't understand. - MaxAurelius
Come at me bullies! I’m armed with a book full of insults - oceanbreezetheawesomewarrior
This one's amazing - 44595638 Comments
This insult is so cruel that it could make your mother cry. If you ever say this to someone they will either punch you or burst into a weeping ball of nothing. Nobody can say this insult sucks!
Yes exactly! Only if someone who is really bad, done something bad, or if they deserve it you should say this - XxSEVEREDHUMANITYxX
Haha did this to some random girl that I liked and she was like I love you
One of THOSE people that like to kiss people that are angry at them. - 404_name_missing
I said this once and the other person didn't even understand. - MaxAurelius54 Comments
Oldest trick in the book
Very cruel I love it!
Awesome! This one's gonna hurt.. But look at the bright side I guess this one's going to blow your enemy away.
That one is great! I said it to my friend who was severely premature, she slapped me.
I have a rat and there's a bat living in my shed. I don't like this one it's basically insulting rats and bats
Laugh out loud nice one10 Comments
Absolute Classic. Something that can be said as though you yourself have come up with it.
Like my fat dick
Brilliant! This had me laughing all night. It's so simple it still gonna hurt! I must use this soon34 Comments
Ima use dat
This one is funny because it's so true. Especially about YOU! Thumbs up!
I'm so using this nice one
Then they could easily respond, "That means I have a huge brain." - MaxAurelius15 Comments
Suicide is a horrible thing that has killed way too many young people
Suicide is NOT something you should joke about!
Using suicide as an insult is very horrible!
That user who wrote "If you can't take a joke get off the site", then guess what? Who ate you to tell others to get off the site!? Some people takes jokes, some don't! Understand that! Plus, people have their own opinions!
Also, there is this thing called the freedom of speech (if you are from America). - JoMama16328 Comments
Hilarious! Definitely will use it sooner or later!
Nice one this should be in top 10
Funny, definitely will use on some pricks!
Boss...one of the best insults7 Comments
My favourite insult of all time - ItsDaWorldOfSNuGGLEZ
Gonna use this all the time
Boy you got an ugly ass girlfriend who puts ugly ass birds on her hair
love it4 Comments
It's really strange and a bit of an embarrassment. - Cyri
Should b3 Number 1! Bloody hilarious - oceanbreezetheawesomewarrior
I started laughing like a maniac as soon as I saw this! My teacher took my phone of me...
Oh my gosh, this is worth more than number 74!7 Comments
Am I the only one who thinks pedophile when I hear this insult?
Naw more like sex offender
I don't get that one
Oh my gosh! This is the best diss ever. Really got me laughing hella hard! What would the next size up in pant size be? Like: hey does anyone have some butter handy so this lady can fit into her pants?
Oh that's GOOD
Hahaa but um don't say this to someones mother it gonna to be a fight.35 Comments
Call th fire brigade! - oceanbreezetheawesomewarrior
Well... I guess... No one is perfect?
Lol that's so funny I like this one Imma use it on my friend
Imma use this on my friend
oh snap this is perfect thing for a girl to say to someone hitting on her, it's so cold.
That is awesome. Really funny! I'll remember that one next time! Cause it is really hilarious!
Oh that hurts what an awesome brush off dude! - Bec
I said this to some1 and he replied with: 'well you'd be the death of me"3 Comments
I love this one, I could use this in a lot of people from my class, all the girls in my class look like clowns, just so you know what I am dealing with here.
I'm gonnnaa use this all my life
Jeez I'm so using this LMFAO rating is ten out of ten
LOL I AM ON THE FLOOR DYING!58 Comments
Shut the front door. Legit DESTROYED
! That's just like, laugh out loud!, had the best argument with this nerd and I TOTALLY won!
, I'm laughing on silent mode!
Lol the best one I've seen and will destroy a dumbass bully with this genius roast.30 Comments
Lol that made me laugh hard like hell
This is funny as hell me and my friend are reading these in class we supossded to be doing work but no were lauhging our ASS OFF
! So funny I'm gonna use that some day
Hahaa! Good one!34 Comments
Man that was so funny not
Why is this "joke" even in the top 50? It is not even remotely funny.
Whoever put this on here has a lower IQ then the place it got on this list! - oceanbreezetheawesomewarrior
It is an anti humor joke it isn't supost to be funny at all...20 Comments
Did an idiot tell you this? Oh, wait, you were describing yourself, right? I think your brain cell died from lack of use. That would explain the hollow sound your head makes when you fall.
Way too low for this quality
It’s maddly funny
Jesus crust that was good
This one is the best brutal thing EVER
This is a amazing
That is one brutal insult.3 Comments
Best diss I have ever heard
I said this to a guy at my school and he actually cried afterward. It is so cruel that it could make anyone burst into tears at that moment! This insult has to be the greatest insult you can ever say to someone you hate!
I'm surprised that this isn't in the top ten. This one made me jump from how good it is. - JoMama163
Sounds like something you would say to a g@y person.27 Comments
To the people writing it's not good enough: There are some people that put in effort trying to make this list, and all that come from you guys is "not good enough" would you be able to make this up? Would you try? No? Exactly.
Good one but you should be a teacher to do this
Um, what - oceanbreezetheawesomewarrior
If that was my teacher I would come to school everyday
WHAT THE HECK IS THIS?!3 Comments
Not very funny this one.
Damon I fully went out I. This 1.
I'm special need people so if this person said this to me it makes no difference so leave him alone if he says this would it really have an effect on every thing no this is to god dam funny
Are you serious. How is this funny. This is extremely mean to people who ACTUALLY do have special needs, LIKE ME. IF YOU LAUGHED AT THIS, GO STAB YOURSELF, THEN BLOW YOURSELF UP, THEN SHOOT YOURSELF IN THE HEAD, THEN GET YOUR MOTHER TO MURDER YOU IN COLD BLOOD! DAMN SON, GET SOME ICE FOR THAT BURN.
For reals, it's no joke, my brother has special needs. I have special needs (in a different way). - JoMama16351 Comments
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14 years, 28 days old
Top Remixes (133)
2. Your family tree is a cactus, because everybody on it is a prick.
3. Hey, you have something on your chin...3rd one down.
2. Hey, you have something on your chin...3rd one down.
3. Yo mama so fat she's got more chins than a Chinese phone book.
2. You're like STDs, nobody wants you, everyone hates you and it proves your parents should have used protection.
3. I would ask how old you are, but I know you can't count that high.
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