1 I knocked over a man. He admitted it was his fault as he had been run over before.
Oh, so you can just floor it even if some bloke's standing in your way, then?
2 The driver had run over a cow. Q: What warning was given by you? A: Horn. Q: What warning was given by the other party? A: Moo.
You could have mooed too. Cows happen to be excellent communicators if you speak Cowean!
Well, what else is the cow meant to say? Bring that up in court!
3 The guy was all over the road. I had to swerve a number of times before I hit him.
Haha! A real heroic attempt of murder!
4 I didn't think the speed limit applied after midnight.
5 I consider that neither car was to blame, but if either one was to blame, it would blame the other one.
6 Coming home I drove into the wrong house and collided with a tree I don't have.
OH MY GOD! This is just so DUMB! Funny but goddam DUMB! Haha! Some people, eh? Thank God for them, I say! Haha!
I think that britgirl is so right
7 I had been driving for 40 years when I fell asleep at the wheel and had an accident.
40 years?!?! You're gonna have to fall asleep sometime!
8 An invisible car came out of nowhere, struck my car and vanished.
This is just to ridiculous not to vote for
9 I was thrown from my car as it left the road, and was later found in a ditch by some stray cows.
10 The pedestrian ran for the pavement, but I got him.
Made one last desperate dash, eh?
11 I was driving along when I saw two kangaroos copulating in the middle of the road causing me to ejaculate through the sun roof.
Well, you made it funny
12 The accident happened because I had one eye on the lorry in front, one eye on the pedestrian and the other on the car behind.
13 I started to slow down but the traffic was more stationary than I thought.
14 I was driving along the motorway when the police pulled me over onto the hard shoulder. Unfortunately I was in the middle lane and there was another car in the way.
15 I started to turn and it was at this point I noticed a camel and an elephant tethered at the verge. This distraction caused me to lose concentration and hit a bollard.
16 I was going at about 70 or 80 mph when my girlfriend on the pillion reached over and grabbed my testicles so I lost control.
This happens to me all the time.
17 I had no idea he was there. He didn't show up on my Sat-Nav.
Why are these people allowed to drive?
18 The car in front hit the pedestrian but he got up so I hit him again
19 I knew the dog was possessive about the car but I would not have asked her to drive it if I had thought there was any risk.
I'm dying reading this!
20 A pedestrian hit me and went under my car
21 In an attempt to kill a fly, I drove into a telephone pole.
22 Going to work at 7am this morning I drove out of my drive straight into a bus. The bus was 5 minutes early..
23 I pulled into a lay-by with smoke coming from under the hood. I realised the car was on fire so took my dog and smothered it with a blanket.
24 I pulled away from the side of the road, glanced at my mother-in-law and headed over the embankment.
25 I was on my way to the doctor with rear end trouble when my universal joint gave way causing me to have an accident.