Top Ten Funniest Things Drivers Have Written On Insurance Forms

PositronWildhawk
Some of these are just some of the most stupid genuine excuses, some are just plain weird. Enjoy, fellow TopTenners.

The Top Ten

1 I knocked over a man. He admitted it was his fault as he had been run over before.

Oh, so you can just floor it even if some bloke's standing in your way, then? - PositronWildhawk

Sorry, I hit your car. I'll se if I have any money to replace it after I pay for the hospital bills. - CityGuru

V 1 Comment
2 The driver had run over a cow. Q: What warning was given by you? A: Horn. Q: What warning was given by the other party? A: Moo.

You could have mooed too. Cows happen to be excellent communicators if you speak Cowean!

V 1 Comment
3 I didn't think the speed limit applied after midnight.
4 The guy was all over the road. I had to swerve a number of times before I hit him.

Haha! A real heroic attempt of murder! - HezarioSeth

5 I consider that neither car was to blame, but if either one was to blame, it would blame the other one.
6 Coming home I drove into the wrong house and collided with a tree I don't have.

OH MY GOD! This is just so DUMB! Funny but goddam DUMB! Haha! Some people, eh? Thank God for them, I say! Haha! - Britgirl

V 1 Comment
7 I had been driving for 40 years when I fell asleep at the wheel and had an accident.

40 years?!?! You're gonna have to fall asleep sometime! - PositronWildhawk

8 An invisible car came out of nowhere, struck my car and vanished.

This is just to ridiculous not to vote for - HannahHick80s

V 1 Comment
9 I was thrown from my car as it left the road, and was later found in a ditch by some stray cows.
10 I was driving along when I saw two kangaroos copulating in the middle of the road causing me to ejaculate through the sun roof.

Well, you made it funny

The Contenders

11 The pedestrian ran for the pavement, but I got him.

Made one last desperate dash, eh? - PetSounds

12 The accident happened because I had one eye on the lorry in front, one eye on the pedestrian and the other on the car behind.
13 The car in front hit the pedestrian but he got up so I hit him again V 1 Comment
14 I was driving along the motorway when the police pulled me over onto the hard shoulder. Unfortunately I was in the middle lane and there was another car in the way.
15 I started to slow down but the traffic was more stationary than I thought.
16 I had no idea he was there. He didn't show up on my Sat-Nav.
17 I started to turn and it was at this point I noticed a camel and an elephant tethered at the verge. This distraction caused me to lose concentration and hit a bollard.
18 I was going at about 70 or 80 mph when my girlfriend on the pillion reached over and grabbed my testicles so I lost control.

This happens to me all the time.

19 I knew the dog was possessive about the car but I would not have asked her to drive it if I had thought there was any risk.

I'm dying reading this!

20 A pedestrian hit me and went under my car
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3 years, 349 days old

Top Remixes

1. I was driving along when I saw two kangaroos copulating in the middle of the road causing me to ejaculate through the sun roof.
2. The accident happened because I had one eye on the lorry in front, one eye on the pedestrian and the other on the car behind.
3. I was driving along the motorway when the police pulled me over onto the hard shoulder. Unfortunately I was in the middle lane and there was another car in the way.
Kiteretsunu
1. I knocked over a man. He admitted it was his fault as he had been run over before.
2. The driver had run over a cow. Q: What warning was given by you? A: Horn. Q: What warning was given by the other party? A: Moo.
3. The guy was all over the road. I had to swerve a number of times before I hit him.
PositronWildhawk

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