Top Ten Funniest Things Drivers Have Written On Insurance Forms

PositronWildhawk
Some of these are just some of the most stupid genuine excuses, some are just plain weird. Enjoy, fellow TopTenners.

The Top Ten

1 I knocked over a man. He admitted it was his fault as he had been run over before.

Oh, so you can just floor it even if some bloke's standing in your way, then? - PositronWildhawk

That was dum he admitted that was stupied - 808swag

Sorry, I hit your car. I'll se if I have any money to replace it after I pay for the hospital bills. - CityGuru

2 The driver had run over a cow. Q: What warning was given by you? A: Horn. Q: What warning was given by the other party? A: Moo.

Well, what else is the cow meant to say? Bring that up in court! - PositronWildhawk

You could have mooed too. Cows happen to be excellent communicators if you speak Cowean!

3 I didn't think the speed limit applied after midnight.
4 The guy was all over the road. I had to swerve a number of times before I hit him.

Haha! A real heroic attempt of murder! - HezarioSeth

5 I consider that neither car was to blame, but if either one was to blame, it would blame the other one.
6 Coming home I drove into the wrong house and collided with a tree I don't have.

OH MY GOD! This is just so DUMB! Funny but goddam DUMB! Haha! Some people, eh? Thank God for them, I say! Haha! - Britgirl

I think that britgirl is so right - 808swag

7 I had been driving for 40 years when I fell asleep at the wheel and had an accident.

40 years?!?! You're gonna have to fall asleep sometime! - PositronWildhawk

8 An invisible car came out of nowhere, struck my car and vanished.

This is just to ridiculous not to vote for - HannahHick80s

9 I was thrown from my car as it left the road, and was later found in a ditch by some stray cows.
10 I was driving along when I saw two kangaroos copulating in the middle of the road causing me to ejaculate through the sun roof.

Well, you made it funny

The Contenders

11 The pedestrian ran for the pavement, but I got him.

Made one last desperate dash, eh? - PetSounds

12 The accident happened because I had one eye on the lorry in front, one eye on the pedestrian and the other on the car behind.
13 The car in front hit the pedestrian but he got up so I hit him again
14 I was driving along the motorway when the police pulled me over onto the hard shoulder. Unfortunately I was in the middle lane and there was another car in the way.
15 I started to slow down but the traffic was more stationary than I thought.
16 I had no idea he was there. He didn't show up on my Sat-Nav.
17 I started to turn and it was at this point I noticed a camel and an elephant tethered at the verge. This distraction caused me to lose concentration and hit a bollard.
18 I was going at about 70 or 80 mph when my girlfriend on the pillion reached over and grabbed my testicles so I lost control.

This happens to me all the time.

19 I knew the dog was possessive about the car but I would not have asked her to drive it if I had thought there was any risk.

I'm dying reading this!

20 A pedestrian hit me and went under my car
21 In an attempt to kill a fly, I drove into a telephone pole.
22 Going to work at 7am this morning I drove out of my drive straight into a bus. The bus was 5 minutes early.. 
23 I pulled into a lay-by with smoke coming from under the hood. I realised the car was on fire so took my dog and smothered it with a blanket.
24 I pulled away from the side of the road, glanced at my mother-in-law and headed over the embankment.
25 I was on my way to the doctor with rear end trouble when my universal joint gave way causing me to have an accident.
26 I had been driving for forty years when I fell asleep at the wheel and had an accident.
27 I was sure the old fellow would never make it to the other side of the road when I struck him.
28 When I saw I could not avoid a collision I stepped on the gas and crashed into the other car.
29 I knocked over a man; he admitted it was his fault for he had been knocked down before.
30 Windscreen broken. Cause unknown. Probably voodoo.
31 A truck backed through my windshield into my wife's face
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4 years, 321 days old

Top Remixes

1. I was driving along when I saw two kangaroos copulating in the middle of the road causing me to ejaculate through the sun roof.
2. The accident happened because I had one eye on the lorry in front, one eye on the pedestrian and the other on the car behind.
3. I was driving along the motorway when the police pulled me over onto the hard shoulder. Unfortunately I was in the middle lane and there was another car in the way.
Kiteretsunu
1. I knocked over a man. He admitted it was his fault as he had been run over before.
2. The driver had run over a cow. Q: What warning was given by you? A: Horn. Q: What warning was given by the other party? A: Moo.
3. The guy was all over the road. I had to swerve a number of times before I hit him.
PositronWildhawk

WRemix

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