Top 10 Reasons Not to Attend a Family Reunion

Whether it's Thanksgiving, an anniversary, or whatever the occasion is, there's not a whole lot of fun in family reunions.

I'm gonna skip a reunion on the 16th for these reasons.

1. No one is really interesting to talk to

   My parents talk with the grown-ups. My sister talks with my cousins. I am left all alone, bored. Need I say more?

   My current reunion is full of old people I just cannot have conversations with.

   Everyone is at least five years out of my age range.

2. You are likely to get picked on by relatives

   This one and #4 are a lot alike, but this one is slightly different because you will likely get picked on by the really egotistical members who think they are always better than you.

   Every single time I attend a family gathering, there is a 99.9% chance that either my mom or my dad will reprimand me and get me in trouble for absolutely no reason at all.

3. There are too many conversations with older people

   My older relatives always talk about how "amazing" Donald Trump is, even though he is racist and homophobic. So annoying!

   Blah blah blah, *insert embarrassing stuff here*.

   They drone on about things no one cares about.

4. People continuously compare you to your other relatives

   This is unbearably annoying.

5. There is too much bragging about others' successes

   My relatives are Asian. Aunts and uncles are always saying, My kid is studying to be a doctor! I cannot tell you how many times I have heard that phrase over and over again!

   One of the worst things about reunions is that those with "superior" qualities tend to be the worst braggarts there.

   My parents always brag about my academic successes to my relatives.

6. It is not worth socializing with family members you rarely see

   I went to a wedding in California, and a lot of them that I hadn't seen in years didn't really talk to me.

   It definitely is not.

7. You have more important things to do

   One time, I had to skip a family gathering because I had too much homework.

8. You are concerned that you will be the party pooper

   My relatives are the true party poopers. My cousins sometimes annoy me, and my parents reprimand me for nothing or embarrass me.

   With the exception of Aunt Marne, my other relatives always reprimanded me for not attending weddings, family funerals, and holiday gatherings because they always expected the whole family to come to their events. However, I was always uninvited.

9. You do not like the location of the reunion

10. You do not like the food offered

    My family always eats German and Polish food, and some of it is gross.

The Newcomers
11. ?

    People fight over the song playlist

    I was at a Chinese restaurant, and there was a karaoke machine that you could control. I wanted to play Andy Lau songs, but my dad forced me to agree to play his annoying songs.

    This is why I bring my own music to restaurants.

12. ?

    Photos eventually end up on social media

    Every single photo taken at family parties gets posted on Facebook.

The Contenders

13. Little kids annoy you on purpose

    I wish. Everyone at family reunions is almost always years older than me.

    My younger cousins were very annoying when they were little, but they always asked when my older sister, Annie, was coming for a holiday. They liked her more than me because my relatives always called Annie their golden niece, with the exception of Aunt Marne.

14. No one pays attention to you

    During my cousin's wedding, everyone said hi to each other but not to me because they have others their age to talk to, and I don't seem to fit in with everyone else. They were also too busy talking to others and failed to acknowledge my existence. I had trouble trying to talk to them (I'm autistic).

    I nearly shed a few tears and wept in silence because of the hurt that I felt. I thought no one cared about me!

    I have nothing in common with my relatives, so I just sit in the corner and eat food.

15. It is boring

    After I eat, I just listen to music and play on my phone for the remainder of the party.

16. People party or talk until after midnight

    Thankfully, we have a rule where we don't ever drink alcohol, nor do we actually party until midnight. We leave after our main event finishes, usually because traffic and other things become a problem in many cases.

    Once, I was at a party at my cousin's house until 1 AM.

17. It is too loud

    My relatives are Asian, and every time they have a family gathering, they talk like they're screaming across the room. It's so loud that I can even hear them when I'm in the bathroom with the door closed!

    Even worse is that all the men drink, and after a few bottles of beer or cups of wine, they start yelling like they're having a heated argument.

18. You get roasted by the grown-ups

    Every time we attend a family gathering, all the grown-ups constantly roast us kids and laugh about it. It is so awkward!

19. Everything that happens gets photographed or videoed

    My family is Asian.

    We eat? They take pictures.

    A kid gets their diaper changed or bathed? It gets videoed.

    We watch TV? It gets videoed.

    They set the table? The food gets photographed.

    Then they put everything up on Facebook.

    I hate candid photos. They always look so weird.

20. People do weird stuff

    We're Asian. Whether an adult is changing a kid's diaper in front of everyone else or my dad is singing horrible karaoke, there is never a dull moment at an Asian family gathering.

21. Irresponsible grown-ups are present

    Every time I go to a family party, there's a 99.9% chance that I'll get in trouble for nothing. Why? It's simple. All the grown-ups are talking really loud (my family's Asian) and drinking so much that they never seem to keep an eye on my cousins, who are wreaking havoc. They get distracted by their conversations and then automatically blame me because they think that since I'm the oldest, I have to be responsible at all times.

    Hey, I may be a grown-up (I'm 26), but I don't know much about group babysitting. I'm still a kid (to them), and even though it's understandable that it's tough to keep track of six kids at a party, they should be responsible enough to keep an eye out for the younger kids (age 10 and under) at least part of the time, and not blame me for their irresponsibility.

22. People act disgusting

23. Sometimes there is not enough food

24. Everyone hogs the TV

    During my family gatherings, either the grown-ups or my cousins are watching TV. It's either sports (the men), Asian dramas (my cousins and the women), or cartoons (the kids). I do get to watch TV for a brief time (usually YouTube), but it usually lasts no more than 20 minutes or half an hour.

    My relatives like to watch Fox News and game shows, and it makes me cringe.

25. Public diaper changing happens

26. Men constantly drink