Top 10 Tips for Maintaining a Long Distance Relationship
Long distance relationships come with multiple unique challenges for both partners. It's hard to keep them going, but if both partners are committed to each other and work together through it, then it is possible to make a long distance relationship work.
Here are some tips to help make a long distance relationship slightly less difficult, whether the other partner is a two-hour drive away or on the other side of the world.
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Communicate on a Regular Basis
The biggest key is to always communicate with each other on a regular basis. How often you talk will vary from couple to couple and can obviously be impacted by scheduling conflicts and life happening. But in general, being consistent with your communication is important. You should be doing this anyway, even in a short-distance relationship.
Figure out how often you should communicate with each other, whether it's daily or weekly (I suggest communicating weekly at minimum). When you can't see each other in person, it makes communication all the more important so your partner doesn't feel excluded.
On that note, try to be intentional about communicating. Try not to just say "hey, how are you?" There's nothing inherently wrong with saying that, but it's just very routine and surface-level communication you'd expect from a coworker. It's fine to ask that, but remember this is your boyfriend or girlfriend. Try to ask them about their life and what's going on. You don't get to see each other all the time, so make your conversations count.
Also, be transparent with each other. If something is wrong, say something. If both people can commit to consistent communication, the relationship has a much better chance of success.
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Set Ground Rules
Obviously, this applies to any relationship. Make sure you both know how to handle conflict if or when it happens. Unfortunately, long distance doesn't have the same benefit of getting to talk in person, so it's harder to gauge the other person's feelings and vibe. It's very difficult to convey those emotions through text.
At the very least, set some boundaries and expectations and be on the same page about things like hanging out with friends of the opposite gender, how often you plan to meet, what days and times work best for you to talk, what to do when the other person has something come up and misses a planned call, or what to do when one person's schedule is much busier and they can't call as often.
Don't overpromise something, and try not to miss a scheduled call if you can help it. The takeaway here is to have this conversation early, preferably on a phone call, and set these expectations so both partners know what to expect and how to respond to any situation that may arise. This will go a long way in keeping both you and your partner at ease.
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Find Creative Ways to Bond
Being long distance definitely hinders your ability to go on regular dates, but that doesn't mean you can't get creative. FaceTime is your best friend.
You can do a virtual dinner date night or a virtual movie night, you can send each other pictures, or play video games together. There are a number of different ways you can still do some normal activities together in spite of the distance.
By doing some normal activities together, it can help you strengthen the bond and keep the intimacy alive.
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Build a Life Outside the Relationship
I know it's tempting to call and text all day, every day, but trust me, you need to build a life outside of the relationship. Maintain your independence.
You need to have a support network of family and friends you can hang out with and talk to because you won't be able to see your boyfriend or girlfriend all the time. Trust me, if you're over-obsessed with your partner, you're going to be miserable.
Make sure you have enough other things going on in your life so you're not constantly obsessing about your partner.
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Be Completely Honest
Honesty is a non-negotiable no matter what. You should be honest in any relationship, but especially in a long distance relationship.
It generally feels harder to trust somebody in a long distance relationship, especially at first. It's a lot easier to hide things from your partner when you're not seeing them physically face to face on a regular basis. However, this can become detrimental to your relationship if one person isn't being honest, because all successful relationships are built on trusting each other.
Being transparent and honest with each other goes a long way to reassuring the other person and putting their mind at ease. If something is wrong, let the other person know. Also, just be honest with them and yourself. Always tell them everything so there's no room for confusion or misunderstanding.
Don't hide information from your partner and don't engage in any activities that you know would hurt your partner. Hiding things only leads to suspicion and frustrations, and you don't want to put their mind in that position.
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Be Patient and Understanding with Each Other
Being in a long distance relationship comes with a unique set of challenges and obstacles to navigate through. It's important to always be patient and understanding with each other in any relationship really, but especially a long distance one.
The distance makes things much harder. With different schedules and time zones, it's hard to carve out time for each other. Just be mindful of the other person's schedule and be willing to be flexible and compromise when necessary, just like in a short distance relationship.
Love is a slow process and requires patience, sometimes a lot of it. But if you both put in the effort to make it work, it can lead to something more beautiful and satisfying than either of you could possibly imagine. Support each other and celebrate your wins, even the little ones.
Being patient and understanding helps strengthen the emotional bond between you both, helps navigate challenges in communication, builds trust, helps foster emotional empathy, and helps navigate any potential conflicts and disagreements that may occur.
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Send Each Other Gifts
Sending each other simple gifts can be a thoughtful gesture and lets the other person know you're thinking of them. It doesn't have to be anything super fancy or expensive either, just a small gift like candy, chocolates, flowers, or maybe a gift card to their favorite fast food restaurant.
You can make them a little care package. Or another option is to ditch the whole technology thing every once in a while and just write them a genuine, sincere handwritten letter or send them a postcard, a drawing, maybe a picture of you, anything to show them that you're thinking about them.
You can send something on special occasions like holidays or their birthday, or just because. It can help ease the burden of being so far apart.
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Set Goals Together
It's important in any relationship to set goals together and know where the relationship is headed, especially in a long distance relationship.
A long distance relationship allows for a unique opportunity to really establish what goals you are aiming to accomplish both individually and collectively for your relationship. If you really see a future with this person, you'll both want to eventually at least live in the same city, maybe even live together.
Besides that though, try to come up with a couple of tangible goals you both can work towards together. It'll help strengthen the connection between you both and bring you closer together.
It could be as simple as eating healthier, saving money for a trip, or starting a project together.
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Stay Positive
Yes, the distance and time apart can be very difficult to deal with and can cause emotional distress, but always try to remain positive.
Being lonely is normal, and it's okay to feel that. One good trick to staying positive is to be grateful all the time. Be thankful that you have someone to love and someone who also loves you back. Be thankful for the little things, like the handmade letter that arrived safely in your mailbox the other day.
Be thankful for each other's health and safety. Just keeping a positive mindset will go a long way. I know it's hard sometimes, but always remember the other person is there.
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Plan to Visit Them When Possible
It can be difficult spending so much time apart from each other. Planning a time to see each other in person is always a good idea.
Granted, it can be difficult to do this and it totally depends on the situation, because in some instances it's just not feasible if you live across the country, for example. For the first time meeting, I suggest somewhere halfway in between you two, somewhere neutral for both of you.
If you're taking your girlfriend or boyfriend to your hometown or where you're living, make sure to make them feel comfortable and welcome in an unfamiliar environment.
Sharing those moments together in person helps you feel connected, and it gives you both something to look forward to. Spending time apart makes the times when you do see each other in person so much more special.
Just remember, if you're talking to somebody on a dating app or anywhere online for that matter wanting to meet you, PLEASE be careful and make sure you trust this person. The last thing you want is to get catfished or scammed.
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Do Online Activities Together