Top 10 Best Lies Parents Tell Their Kids
Don't you love the lies we tell our kids! I do. Here are some of my favorites that I was told in my youth.
The sweetest of dreams! A benevolent, white-bearded man coming down the chimney - we left cookies and carrots for him and his reindeer. My older sister and I felt like we were the last ones in school to find out the truth. My younger sister felt the burden of keeping the charade alive. I'm 42, and we still get presents from St. Nick. A beautiful lie! I include the Easter Bunny, the Tooth Fairy, and all the other wonderful make-believe figments of society's imagination.
Saint Nicholas is real, but he's dead, and he's not the one we imagined. He doesn't look like we think he does (I think he was actually pretty skinny), he didn't come down chimneys, he didn't watch you, and he didn't give presents to only the nice people. He gave them to the ones who were struggling in life: financially, etc.
Haha, I don't know why parents even bother saying this. Newsflash: Kids know when you favor one.
Right! That's how come Cathy got a car and I didn't.
Maybe to my dad, but my mom likes my sister a LOT more.
I thought this was true until about ten seconds ago! Well, I feel stupid...
I won a watermelon eating contest at Pismo Beach in the summer of '77, and I must have swallowed a thousand of them - no tree!
There wouldn't be enough sun, soil, water, etc., for the seed to grow. Plus, how would the seed germinate inside a stomach?
I'm Asian, and while growing up, I listened to this Cantonese kid's song that claims if you eat watermelon seeds, a watermelon will grow out of your head. Of course, that's total BS because I tested that theory, and nothing actually happened to me.
My Uncle Mike told me this one! It worked. I was deathly afraid of embarrassing myself - even the slightest urge had me scampering out of the water to the bathroom. Brilliant! I've told it a few times myself.
This one is sort of true, but I don't think you need to wait that long. Exercising immediately after eating can cause some problems, though, because when you exercise, the blood flow is diverted away from the digestive system to the muscles that need the energy. But really, you don't need to wait an hour. I normally don't exert myself too much when I swim anyway.
Chalk this one up to ignorance. Just parents repeating the same crap their parents told them. Somebody must stop the cycle of BS. Although I do remember a particularly harsh, burpy swim practice after downing a whole pizza.
Pure parental bull crap! I should have asked Dad to show me his medical degree. Lucky for him, it was pre-Google. I would have loved to call him out on that one!
More like it takes a day to digest and will end up in your poo.
Video games actually help your brain and make you smarter! Homework is the one that rots your brain.
No, they don't! Parents just want an excuse to stop you from playing video games!
Partially BS, but violent games can basically turn you into murderers.
The Newcomers
Found that one out the hard way!
"But Mom, look! The ice cream truck stopped, and all the kids are surrounding it!"
When I was younger, I stupidly believed in this. I put my tooth under my pillow, and when I woke up the next day, it was still there.
Oh, when I was 7, my parents told me I couldn't get my dream job.
Asian parent: You can only be a doctor, lawyer, or engineer!
I have ridden dozens of coasters (including the kiddie and family ones), and I'm still pretty.
That's how they try to feed us vegetables. I actually like vegetables, so this doesn't apply to me.
And they wonder how children end up abusing drugs in the future...
Not true. I love watching Disney's Hercules, and I'm 26.
My parents say that "Thomas & Friends" is for little kids and babies!
What? Not unless a razor is sticking out of my butt!
I hated my childhood dentist because he caused me pain while pulling out my baby teeth.
Yep, being with people you can't stand, getting bullied, and having some of your teachers be horrible at their job is totally fun!
That's the biggest lie I ever heard. By the way, I'm at school making this comment!
The rules, bullies, work, long hours, and mean teachers ruin the fun.