Top Ten "Herbert The Pervert" Quotes

Best quotes from Herbert The Pervert in Family Guy.

The Top Ten

1 You're really starting to piss me off you piggly son of a bitch... CALL ME!

I love this one... By far my favorite!

ha ha I laugh my ass off every time I see this episode...

This is as funny as it gets.

So funny!

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2 You want a popsicle? My cellar's full of popsicles!

Mhh I sure do love popsicles, in my mouth and other places and it is so good fo

Love it cause this helped me learn how to talk like him

Laugh out loud he funny I love that guy he always makes me laughs


V 5 Comments
3 MMMMMMMMMmmmmmmmmmmmm

I think that.. I can do the pervert mmhhmm so good.. Lolx. Its like I have a herbert the pervert day on my Facebook page and.. Everyone just cracks up. Its just too hilarious.


4 It's me again, just lonely here, thinking bout the paperboy, wondering when he's gonna bring me some good news

I think it is by far the best quot of hurbert the pervert, its great when he says it in the episods

Best quote in the whole entire "Family Guy" series. We need more than 10 of these.

This guy just doesn't quit! :D

I think it is hilariour

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5 Looks like the good Lord sent us a conversation starter.

My teacher has this on his phone and whenever someone texts him in school everything gets quiet and you here this quote its halarious!

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6 You know what day it is? It's bath day... Not for you silly, for me! Know anybody with a strong pair of hands to help me in and out of the tub? (Meg helps him) OH RATS!

So funny! I love this the first time I seen it on T.V., and think that it is so great. Herbert the Pervert all the way! Man this guy is great! I wish he was real, ha-ha. Love you Herbert

My favorite. Did anyone notice the schoolhouse rock- reference? His face looked liked the kid when the wheel fell off his car. Its been a long time since I seen that.

It was funny when I saw it on T.V.

7 Sweet Jesus!

I almost peed in my pants when I heard this for the first time. Herbret is definitely my favorite character. I hope they continue to make episodes with lots of Herbert!

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8 If it gets too hot and sweaty for you out here, feel free to take your shirt off

This quote is so freaking awesome! Herbert is my favorite character! :D
He is hot! I wrote a song about him:D.

This is so funny lol


9 That's a mighty fine throwing arm you got there Chris


10 And don't you mouth off to me, or I'm gonna slap you right in your penis.

Crack me up so bad!

No longer gender specific! Great comeback for so many occasions!

That stuff is funny.

That'd probably hurt

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The Contenders

11 Whoever can swallow the most Tylenol PM wins

"Okay children, lets settle this as sexy teenagers.. Whoever swallows the most Tylemol PM WINS! "

As soon as I heard this, I was ROTF

Quite possibly the greatest moment in family guy history.

12 Ok everyone except Chris keep their pants on and well figure this out

It's we'll. English son. English.

Herbert's so funny

13 Uh Oh what's going on in my pants? Looks like we've got six more weeks of winter
14 Come on Jesse, come on, get the ball!

my creepy rapist teachers name is Jesse. mye and my class finds this quote funny as hell!

15 Guess Who...

, the amount of times this gets said in carlisle is fecking brilliant! Haha Guess Who!

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16 Get your fat ass over here

Herbert is reel funny yu know that I think that's a funny quote there similar to " get your fat space ass back here" so yea he's funny

Classic, will never forget this line as long as I live

This is the best of them all

Love it.

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17 Bring your fat space ass back here

When does he say that?

Taylor Lopez likes big dick in his corn hole

Herbert is so f@#%ing funny!

18 Alright everyone but Chris keep your pants on and let's figure this out.

And yet, still, nobody in the griffin family realize Herbert's a pedophile.

Nicholas Conner has no Dick or vigina. Nobody knows what he is but he likes old crusty men like herbert.

I love this one it is so funny I almost like peed my pants when I heard this and my sister did pee her pqnts pants I was highly desguted when I found out she peed her pants. Herbert is my favorite character on family guy

V 3 Comments
19 Dammit! I'm missing boy meets world for this?!

Hella funny

20 Oh my, I'm being robbed and there are no police around to help me, I hope you don't find the money strapped to my thigh.

Herbert will never change haha

V 1 Comment
21 Are you a giving tree, or a receiving tree?

that comment is so funny

22 I know what boys like, I know what guys want. I know what boys like, boys like, boys like me.
23 Did he say strap in or strap on
24 Come on Jesse, time for your poops and pees.
25 Jackpot!
26 You don't wanna hurt yourself dancing, you better stretch out those creamy hamstrings.

Just the phrase, "stretch out those creamy hamstrings" is hilarious to me, it gets me every time.

27 Hi Kyle!

DABEST I used this in my youtube videos! Search up themojocast

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28 I'm Lookin for a Car Thats Been Tricked Out to Be an Ice Cream Truck

Nicholas conner likes big penis

29 Chris. Take your pants off.
30 Your tip is in my pocket... reach on in and grab it.
31 Holy moly! It must be my birthday!

Nearly pissed myself laughing so hard

Herbert at his finest.

32 Now, We All Can Settle This Like Little Sexy Teenagers
33 I'm one lucky sumbitch
34 Thinkin' about the muscly-armed paperboy.
35 Hand Me My Paper Son or I'll Have to Use My Grabber
36 Go on Jesse go make your peeps and poops. Mmmmmmmmm..... that's gonna make Jesse feel good.
37 You wanna see my penis?
38 If you get sweaty and want to take your shirt off, that would be just fine.
39 Whats going on in my pants? Looks like we got 6 more weeks of winter.
40 It's fun to stay at the Y-M-C-A, Mmmmm...
41 Do you have any little boys?
42 Happy Valentine/s Day Chris, cupid brought you a saggy bag of treats.

I almost peed myself!

43 Then you need to come on down to the cellar. I got a whole freezer full of Popsicles.


44 "Hey Chris! You mind bending over and grabbing that piece of newspaper for me?" (Chris bends down and grabs newspaper) "Hmmmmm"
45 Chris.... He's a Nazi!
46 That's a mighty full sack you're carrying

Piss off you perverted old freak! - dipperpinesfangirl618

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47 I'm gonna smack that ass Chris
48 Come here Jessie, smell my fingers... Hmmm.. Mmmm.

Best family guy quote

49 Would you like to come inside for a cupcake and a glass of wine?
50 You Shall Not Pass! (Herbert As Gandalf from Lord of the Rings In Poltergeist Episode)
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List Stats

2,000 votes
70 listings
8 years, 157 days old

Top Remixes

1. You're really starting to piss me off you piggly son of a bitch... CALL ME!
2. You want a popsicle? My cellar's full of popsicles!
3. MMMMMMMMMmmmmmmmmmmmm
1. You're really starting to piss me off you piggly son of a bitch... CALL ME!
2. You want a popsicle? My cellar's full of popsicles!
3. MMMMMMMMMmmmmmmmmmmmm
1. Uh Oh what's going on in my pants? Looks like we've got six more weeks of winter
2. Ok everyone except Chris keep their pants on and well figure this out
3. Dammit! I'm missing boy meets world for this?!


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