Top 10 Best Jokes of All Time

Laughter is the great equalizer. Kings chuckle. Babies giggle. Even your emotionally unavailable cat probably lets out a snort when you're not looking.

You're not just here to scroll and snicker. You're here to decide which zingers deserve to wear the crown. Think of yourself as a comedy sommelier, sniffing out that perfect blend of absurdity and delivery. Some jokes here are clever. Some are ridiculous. Some are so dumb they loop back around to genius. You might cringe, you might cry, but you'll definitely question your standards more than once.

So vote. Upvote the ones that made you snort like an asthmatic seal, and if your favorite isn't on here yet, add it. Just don't expect mercy if it's a knock-knock joke that ends with "orange you glad."

Ready? The setup's done. Now you bring the punch.

The Top Ten

  1. Good women are found on every corner of the Earth, but sadly the Earth is round!

    So people, you can literally use this joke in a comedy act like this:

    Well, when I was little, my dad said that good women are found on every corner of the earth! My first question to that was, how many corners does the earth have? Then I realized the earth has no corners.

    This is by far the best joke.

    That is the funniest one. It should be first.

  2. Come to the dark side... We have cookies!

    Never! But uh, now just how many cookies are we talking about here?!

    I think this is a very funny joke.

  3. How does Michael Jackson pick his nose? From a catalogue.

  4. Come to the dark side... We have Loki and cookies.

    This joke is probably the best.

    Hell even finds this positive. Inside a homeless shelter, hobos are laughing. Sharks in the tanks are also laughing.

    Jesters tell this to their kings. Other people spread the joke. Kangaroos hop as they hear the joke. Everyone laughs at this masterpiece.

    Inside, my heart is laughing. Super Nintendos drop to the ground when the joke is heard.

    Black people don't find it offensive, and blondes don't either. Dads tell their sons, and you should too...

  5. Why does Michael Jackson like twenty-eight-year-olds? Because there are twenty of them.

    Oh, I get it! 20 eight-year-olds, right?

  6. Mom, I'm on Coke... [OMG how dare you?] ...and Pepsi!

    Mom, I'm on Coke.

    "Is it good?"

    "No! My name is on the Coke bottle!"

    This is what would happen. Then I would finally find the "Jill" on the name bottles.

  7. Come to the nerd side... We have pi

    Better version of "come to the dark side we have cookies." Much better.

    Come to the dork side is better because it sounds like dark side.

    Lol. I'm not a nerd in any sense, but this is pretty funny. I'll tell my nerd neighbor to use it. She will probably smother me with knowledge of pi while doing her distinctly nerdy laugh.

  8. I know Victoria's secret, and it ain't pretty.

  9. I know why the lights went out, because they liked each other.

    I like it, but I hate it.

    Yes, I do get it. But where I live, I get like five blackouts every week, and that's why I hate it. But I like it because I get it, and that is because I never get jokes.

  10. Yo mama so fat, she takes up space

    11. The Newcomers
  11. ?

    What do Keemstar and an onion have in common? They both make old men cry.

  12. ?

    I don't trust the stairs, they're always up to something!

    13. The Contenders

  13. What is black and white and red? A sunburned zebra.

  14. What do you call a '70s cookie band? OREO Speedwagon.

  15. Do you have a PSP? [Yes] Haha, you have a Pretty Small Penis

    Whoa, I never knew what this meant. Now I know. When my friend first asked me, I said, "Yeah," and he looked at me, scared.

    Then I thought, that's not good. So I just said, "No, I was just kidding. By the way, what does that mean? I thought you meant the game system."

    Laugh out loud. Nice, haha. Will definitely use this on one of my friends!

  16. What happens to a rhinoceros during puberty? He gets horny.

  17. What does a television have in common with a rabbit? Its ears!

  18. What did the crop say to the farmer? Why are you always picking on me?

  19. What doesn't get wet when it rains? The ocean.

  20. How many teenage girls does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Eleven. One to screw it in and ten to take 200 photos of it for Facebook.

  21. Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side! To get away from the cook! To prove he's no chicken!

  22. Why does Mr. McMahon have to go to heaven? Because he has no chance in hell.

  23. What's the difference between a mole and an eagle? They both live underground, except for the eagle.

    What the... That doesn't even make sense.

    It said EXCEPT for the eagle. They were basically making fun of their own joke.

  24. Yo mama so fat, she couldn't fit on Earth

  25. Yo mama so stupid, when she got fired, she set herself on fire.

    Makes no sense at all, but I just love it for that. The best on here in my opinion. There's something about it that just makes you laugh. I don't even know what it is, but lol.

  26. Defeating a sandwich only makes it tastier

  27. What's green and dangerous? A frog with a gun

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