Top Ten Random Things to Say at Your Family Christmas Party

The Top Ten

1 Eggs are the devil's cholesterol!

2 For freedom!! And muffins.

Sounds like something Derpy Hooves would say.

I'm not interested if there are no muffins.

After all who doesn't like muffins?

3 Cowaf****** Piece of Dog S***!

4 Go ahead and call the police. They can't unhug you.

5 I shot Santa and burned his corpse in my fireplace

Oh the looks on all the little bastards' faces

If there's kids, don't

6 Why are Spongebob's parents cookies? Why??!!

7 Gimme that pumpkin frittata!

8 Kahn!!!!!

I'd love to shout this when the whole family are just falling asleep during watching Mary Poppins...

9 When a 21 year old cat hooks up with a 16 year old girl, he ain't looking for no ice cream

Anyone who's seen Good Times knows it ain't an actual cat

Phew! I'm 14 and my cat's 7.

10 Milk Milk Lemonade, this is where fudge is made!

Amy Schumer is funny

The Contenders

11 I Like Turtles!

12 Allahu Akbar!

13 Is taking a s**t in someone's backpack okay?

14 I Have Hepatitis C

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