Top 10 Things Your Phone, Tablet, or Computer Should Do When Someone Tries to Hack It

It's the 2020s, and technology continues to evolve and improve. But if there's one thing we still need to worry about, it's hackers.

In this age of constant digital threats, we should have advanced security systems for our devices. I'm not just talking about passwords. I'm talking about systems that can actively deter, scare off, and frustrate hackers.

So without further ado, let's begin this list.

The Top Ten

  1. Play "U Can't Touch This" by MC Hammer

    So that's what the song means. Where can I download this security system?

    Haha, I love this idea.

  2. Threaten to show everyone in the world the hacker's internet history (even if it's been deleted)

    This would be bad for anyone - even me. I often regret the things I've seen on the internet.

  3. Pop up a message on the screen saying, "Smile buddy. You're on camera."

    Should do that on Talking Angela.

    Does it really do that?

  4. Threaten to blow up if they try one more time

    You may lose an expensive device, but who cares?! There's a chance the hacker might get blown to pieces!

  5. Threaten to give someone the hacker's credit card number

  6. Pop up a message on the screen saying, "It's best you sleep with one eye open from now on."

    This is one of the few items on this list you could probably do.

  7. Take a picture of their face so you know who is trying to hack your device

    Then again, who wants some random stranger's face on their device? Wait, I just made a comment pointing out the obvious. Oh well, everyone does that now and then.

  8. Program a satellite to come crashing down on the hacker

  9. Bring up a jumpscare so scary that it makes the hacker crap their pants

    Haha, scarier than Slender, FNAF 4, and Jeff the Killer combined!

  10. Threaten to play their least favorite song

    I will play Baby until you leave. So: Baby, baby, baby, ohh.

    11. The Newcomers
  11. ?

    Say you will tell their mom

  12. ?

    Open up 100 command prompts on Windows

    13. The Contenders

  13. Play the Rickroll song, then explode

  14. Cause spontaneous combustion

    For those who don't understand, that means "explosion."

  15. Taze them

  16. Play Justin Bieber until the hacker turns themselves in

  17. Send ransomware to the device they used to hack your device

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