Best Blonde Jokes

List suggested and partially made by a blonde, so, relax you fellow blondes, and enjoy some laughs!
The Top Ten
1 How do you keep a blonde busy for 7 hours?

Give her a piece of paper that has the words "Turn Over" on both sides

Put her in a round room and tell her to sit in the corner

Giver her m&m's and tell her to make a word with them.

2 How do you know a blonde's having a bad day?

Her tampon's behind her ear and she can't find her pencil.

That's really funny but kind of disturbing to think about. Also kind of painful if it's a sharp pencil.

This is so funny it should be on the top ten, && ima blonde and this is funny and my bestie says so too were still laughing after 7 minutes!

If her tampons behind her ear and she can't find her pen

3 How did the blonde die at the baseball game?

She drowned during the wave.

She got hit by the basketball in the head and got a concussion.

She got nailed in the head by trying to make an interception.

I think that number one is the answer its obvious

4 How did the blonde get past kindergarten?

She walked past the kindergarten classroom.

She didn't the blond still is in kindergarten

She annoyed the only teacher so much that she quit.

She didn't,she just walked past the classroom

5 What do you call a smart blonde?

What do you call a smart blonde? There is only two simple little words to describe this joke and that is... A miracle...

I guess I'm a miracle. Who would've thought there could be such thing as a blonde salutatorian! And yeah, I'm a girl, too!

That's kinda stereotypical 'cause my friend is a blonde and she is one of the smartest kids in class and have you people heard of Annabeth?

That's kinda stereotypical because my friend is a blonde and she is one of the smartest kids in class.

6 A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are running from the cops. They all hide in a barn.

The brunet hides with the pigs, he red head hides with the horses and the blonde hides behind a sack of potatoes. The cops enter the barn and shine a flash light on the pigs, the brunette says "oink oink" and the cops move on. The cops shine their flash lights on the horses, the red head goes "neigh neigh". Finally the cops shine a light on the sacs of potatoes and the blond says " potato potato".

I love this joke I'm a blonde and I almost peed my pants because I probably would have done that myself.

HAHAAHAHAAHA! Even my brother liked that one, and he's such a social reject that he can't tell what's a joke and what's not!

I bet you $10 that the blonde is the reason they're running from the cops.

7 How are a blonde and a UFO the same?

Neither of which are something you wanna come in contact with.

You hear about them but they never come around.

This is website it funny and I'm a blonde

This one was hilarous! I'm a blonde and my brothers always make fun of me. It was hilarous

8 What's the difference between a smart blond and big foot

Snap that is funny and I'm a blonde. Yet I'm in honors classes.

There has been bigfoot sightings

Bigfoot is uglier but smarter

9 Two blondes were walking through the forest and they came upon a set of tracks. They began to argue about what animal had left the tracks. Ten minutes later, they were hit by a train.

Never heart this one before. This was the only one in the top ten that actually made me laugh.

Haha at first I didn't get it but then I got (my friend had to explain it to me) I am a blonde duh!

I'm a blonde and I totally got it! That's something I would totally do!

This is a classic Blonde Joke love it I'm a Blonde myself

10 How do you drown a blonde?

You go up to a blonde & you say your really pretty! If you really want to see how beautiful you are there is a mirror at the bottom of that ocean (and you have had glued a mirror to the bottom of the ocean)

You put a scratch and sniff sticker at the bottom of a pool...

You put a cup full of water and put it in the pool and tell her don't come up till the water is gone.

Put a mirror at the bottom of the pool.

The Contenders
11 How do you keep a blonde busy for 2 days?

Give her a piece of paper that has "please turn over" written on both sides

Tell her this joke and that'll do the trick, if you don't get it, you're blonde, and the answer is she was trying to figure it out.

Both of my best friends are partially blonde... And both would fall for this!

Sit here in front of a mirror and say wave till the other person waves back.

12 How do you get a 1 armed blonde to fall out of a tree?

Tell her to do pullups and get some one to wave at her
She'll wave back

Tell her to climb a tree with one branch she will try and jump up to the top

Tell her that the branch shes on can replace her missing arm if she brakes it off

Tell her to rake the leaves!.. Love this joke it awesome

13 Why do blondes have brused belly buttons?

I'm a blonde and I wouldn't get that if someone explained it to me a million time hee hee

Because they have blonde boyfriends.

14 How did the blonde die in a helicopter crash?

She got cold and turned the fan off!

She asked the pilot if she could try and fly. The pilot said yes.

This one is amazing. Love this one a lot. It is so funny. I rofled for half an hour.

She needed some light so she flipped a switch.

15 What do you call a blonde who loves her boyfriend?

The real question is, how does the boyfriend get out of it?

I don't know, but obviously her boyfriend is her mirror...

A hopeless romantic without the romantic part

That was a good one I really like the 2nd one

16 What do you get when a blond dies her hair brunett?

This one is hilarious is it artificial intelligence. Mybciusin taaughte that I could not stop laughing for like a hour

Shouldn't dies be dyes her hair must be a dumb blonde wrote this joke.

Well obviously she would be absolutely smart

17 What did the blonde see when she looked into a box of cheerios?

I laughed right out loud with this one. GREAT! ! I dye my hair blonde--helps when I do something silly. Laugh out loud

A bunch of doughnut seeds!
Haha
I'm a brunet

She thought that she seen doughnut seeds

Wow I think she said... Are those my glasses

18 A smart blonde and the tooth fairy jump off a cliff who gets to the bottom first?

The tooth fairy. The blonde needs to stop and ask for directions.

Obviously the blonde because they think they can fly like a tooth fairy but failed!

The tooth fairy duh stupid blonde probably asked gor directions

The tooth fairy of course because the blonde was light headed

19 Why do blondes go to church?

Because of they hair colour, blue or lighter eye colour & fair skin they think they're angels but are demons in disguise!

Because they heard there was a naked man hanging around

To learn about God

Because they think their pretty

20 How can you tell a blonde in school?

She erases her to notebook when the teacher erases the board

Yea I do that all the time

21 Why did the blonde get kicked out of the M & M factory?

Because she stuck them on upside down

Because she threw out all the 's.

Yo mama so dumb she got fired from the M'n'M factory for throwing out the W's

22 Why did the blonde on her way to Disney World never arrive?

I've been to Disney world 6 times thank you very much.
And I'm blonde.
But this is funny.

She stayed at home and had a different relaxing summer duh

Laugh out loud! I'm a blonde too!

23 What does a blonde do when she is horny?

Pokes you like a hornet.

Say, "I'm a unicorn! "

24 What do you get when you put a bunch of blondes in the freezer?

Elsa from frozen?

25 What happened when the blonde tried to commit suicide?

This is really really mean. They’re people who honestly believe they’re not useful on this earth and trying to hurt themselves and your all of joking about it. Huh

Snort! Good one! Laugh out loud! I'm telling Catlin this, and she'll never regret it that bacon pig! SNORT ha! I love jokes

She killed her twin sister by mistake!

She couldn't figure out how to trigger the gun.

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