Best Blonde Jokes!

July 31, 2015 - List suggested and partially made by a blonde, so, relax you fellow blondes, and enjoy some laughs! Don't agree with the list? Vote for an existing item you think should be ranked higher or if you are a logged in, add a new item for others to vote on or create your own version of this list.

The Top Ten

1
How do you keep a blonde busy for 7 hours?
Give her a piece of paper that has the words "Turn Over" on both sides
Put her in a round room and tell her to sit in the corner
Giver her m&m's and tell her to make a word with them.

EmptyShadow

[Newest]Put her in front of mirror so she has someone to talk to.

2How do you know a blonde's having a bad day?
Her tampon's behind her ear and she canít find her pencil.
That's really funny but kind of disturbing to think about. Also kind of painful if it's a sharp pencil.
If her tampons behind her ear and she can't find her pen
[Newest]The one below would hurt and I'm a guy.

Elwood


3How did the blonde die at the baseball game?
She drowned during the wave.
Its the funniest joke ever laugh out loud laugh out loud laugh out loud laugh out loud
I tots like this one my fave!
[Newest]She got hit by the basketball in the head and got a concussion.

kaitlynrad11


4How did the blonde get past kindergarten?
She walked past the kindergarten classroom.
She didn't the blond still is in kindergarten
That's not even good
[Newest]This is a totally awful joke

5How do you keep a blonde busy for 2 days?
Give her a piece of paper that has "please turn over" written on both sides
My cousin did this to my sister you think someone older would understand the joke instead of falling for it
Tell her to tell if your animal is a sheep or a dog
[Newest]Very funny coming from a blonde

6What do you call a smart blonde?
What do you call a smart blonde? There is only two simple little words to describe this joke and that is... A miracle...
Classic, but insulting to dogs. ;) I'm blonde myself and got that! Do I get a cookie?

Oreanta

Being a blonde myself I find them VERY funny-seem to ring a bell:)
[Newest]I'm blonde, and I'm the smartest kid in my class. (Not trying to brag, just trying to prove a point. )

7Why do blondes have brused belly buttons?
Because they have blonde boyfriends
I'm a blonde and I wouldn't get that if someone explained it to me a million time hee hee
O.K. Iím Blonde and I got That laugh out loud
[Newest]Not bad but not great

8Why did the blonde get kicked out of the M & M factory?
Because she kept throwing out the w's
Laugh out loud! I love this one.

funnyuser

Because she threw out all the w's

9A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are running from the cops. They all hide in a barn.
The brunet hides with the pigs, he red head hides with the horses and the blonde hides behind a sack of potatoes. The cops enter the barn and shine a flash light on the pigs, the brunette says "oink oink" and the cops move on. The cops shine their flash lights on the horses, the red head goes "neigh neigh". Finally the cops shine a light on the sacs of potatoes and the blond says " potato potato".
That was funny I totally laughed at that one I'm not a blond
I love this joke I'm a blonde and I almost peed my pants because I probably would have done that myself.

10How do you drown a blonde?
You put a scratch and sniff sticker at the bottom of a pool...

heather

You put a cup full of water and put it in the pool and tell her don't come up till the water is gone.
Put a mirror at the bottom of the pool.
[Newest]Tell her you're going to race her to the ocean floor, and never start.

Turkeyasylum


The Contenders

11How do you get a 1 armed blonde to fall out of a tree?
Tell her to do pullups and get some one to wave at her
She'll wave back
Tell her that the branch shes on can replace her missing arm if she brakes it off
Tell her to climb a tree with one branch she will try and jump up to the top

12What did the blonde see when she looked into a box of cheerios?
A bunch of doughnut seeds!
Haha
I'm a brunet
The blonde gasps then says, Bagels?
She thought that she seen doughnut seeds

13How are a blonde and a UFO the same?
Its supposed to say "how are a smart blonde and a ufo the same" and the answer would be that you keep hearing about them but never see them
This is website it funny and I'm a blonde
Neither of which are something you wanna come in contact with.

14What do you call a blonde who loves her boyfriend?
Love at first sight
A hopeless romantic without the romantic part
I really like the 3rd one its very nice

15How did the blonde commit suicide?
She brought her hair dryer into her tub.
By sticking a fork in a toaster to get the toast out
She put all her clothes in a pile and jumped off
[Newest]Well since blondes are dumb she probably brought the hair straightener in there

16What do you get when a blond dies her hair brunett?
Artificial Intelligence...laugh out loud :-)
Well obviously she would be absolutely smart
A dirty blond girl

kaitlynrad11


17What's the difference between a smart blond and big foot
There has been bigfoot sightings
Snap that is funny and I'm a blonde. Yet I'm in honors classes.
Bigfoot is uglier but smarter

18How did the blonde die in a helicopter crash?
She got cold and turned the fan off!
That's good and I'm a blonde

Took me awhile to figure out!
[Newest]She killed the pilot and tried to fly it herself

19A smart blonde and the tooth fairy jump off a cliff who gets to the bottom first?
The tooth fairy. The blonde needs to stop and ask for directions.
The tooth fairy, smart blondes don't exist
The tooth fairy of course because the blonde was light headed
[Newest]The tooth fairy duh stupid blonde probably asked gor directions

20What do you do if a blonde throws a pin at you?
Run like hell she's got a grenade in her mouth
Well I would run because stupid probably has a grenade in her mouth
Ah that was so good

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This list was created 9 years, 150 days ago and has been voted on over 2,000 times. This top ten list has been remixed 6 times and has been blogged about 3 times.

Updated Friday, July 31, 2015


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