Best Blonde Jokes!

List suggested and partially made by a blonde, so, relax you fellow blondes, and enjoy some laughs!

The Top TenXW

1How do you keep a blonde busy for 7 hours?

Give her a piece of paper that has the words "Turn Over" on both sides

Put her in a round room and tell her to sit in the corner

Giver her m&m's and tell her to make a word with them. - EmptyShadow

I myself am brunette, but I don't appreciate all these blonde jokes. Yes, I happen to know a blonde that is annoying but I deal with it.

V28 Comments
2How do you know a blonde's having a bad day?

That's really funny but kind of disturbing to think about. Also kind of painful if it's a sharp pencil.

If her tampons behind her ear and she can't find her pen

The one below would hurt and I'm a guy. - Elwood

There hair turns black

V6 Comments
3How did the blonde die at the baseball game?

It's the funniest joke ever laugh out loud laugh out loud laugh out loud laugh out loud

She got hit by the basketball in the head and got a concussion. - kaitlynrad11

I think that number one is the answer its obvious

She died during the strike

V10 Comments
4How did the blonde get past kindergarten?

She walked past the kindergarten classroom.

She didn't the blond still is in kindergarten

All of you are being jerks! Not all blonds ar stupid.To be honest all you guys are IDIOTS! If you think all blonds are stupid. And by the way in a blond female and I get A's on all of my grades and no I'm not rich.

This is a totally awful joke

V8 Comments
5How do you keep a blonde busy for 2 days?

Give her a piece of paper that has "please turn over" written on both sides

My cousin did this to my sister you think someone older would understand the joke instead of falling for it

Tell her to tell if your animal is a sheep or a dog

Very funny coming from a blonde

V13 Comments
6What do you call a smart blonde?

What do you call a smart blonde? There is only two simple little words to describe this joke and that is... A miracle...

Classic, but insulting to dogs. ;) I'm blonde myself and got that! Do I get a cookie? - Oreanta

Being a blonde myself I find them VERY funny-seem to ring a bell

I'm blonde, and I'm the smartest kid in my class. (Not trying to brag, just trying to prove a point. ) - RockFashionista

V13 Comments
7Why do blondes have brused belly buttons?

Because they have blonde boyfriends

I'm a blonde and I wouldn't get that if someone explained it to me a million time hee hee

V2 Comments
8A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are running from the cops. They all hide in a barn.

The brunet hides with the pigs, he red head hides with the horses and the blonde hides behind a sack of potatoes. The cops enter the barn and shine a flash light on the pigs, the brunette says "oink oink" and the cops move on. The cops shine their flash lights on the horses, the red head goes "neigh neigh". Finally the cops shine a light on the sacs of potatoes and the blond says " potato potato".

I love this joke I'm a blonde and I almost peed my pants because I probably would have done that myself.

HAHAAHAHAAHA! Even my brother liked that one, and he's such a social reject that he can't tell what's a joke and what's not!

V2 Comments
9Why did the blonde get kicked out of the M & M factory?

Yo mama so dumb she got fired from the M'n'M factory for throwing out the W's

V7 Comments
10How do you drown a blonde?

You put a cup full of water and put it in the pool and tell her don't come up till the water is gone.

Tell her you're going to race her to the ocean floor, and never start. - Turkeyasylum

You go up to a blonde & you say your really pretty! If you really want to see how beautiful you are there is a mirror at the bottom of that ocean (and you have had glued a mirror to the bottom of the ocean)

Ask her to take her clothes down and not come up until they are dry.

V7 Comments

The Contenders

11How do you get a 1 armed blonde to fall out of a tree?

Tell her to do pullups and get some one to wave at her
She'll wave back

Tell her that the branch shes on can replace her missing arm if she brakes it off

Tell her to climb a tree with one branch she will try and jump up to the top

V2 Comments
12What did the blonde see when she looked into a box of cheerios?

The blonde gasps then says, Bagels?

She thought that she seen doughnut seeds

Wow I think she said... Are those my glasses

I laughed right out loud with this one. GREAT! ! I dye my hair blonde--helps when I do something silly. Laugh out loud

V3 Comments
13How are a blonde and a UFO the same?

Its supposed to say "how are a smart blonde and a ufo the same" and the answer would be that you keep hearing about them but never see them

Neither of which are something you wanna come in contact with.

This one was hilarous! I'm a blonde and my brothers always make fun of me. It was hilarous

V2 Comments
14What do you call a blonde who loves her boyfriend?

Love at first sight

A hopeless romantic without the romantic part

I don't know, but obviously her boyfriend is her mirror...

I really like the 3rd one its very nice

V5 Comments
15How did the blonde commit suicide?

Well since blondes are dumb she probably brought the hair straightener in there

She and a brunette were hanging off a cliff. The only bystander could only save one. He pucked the blonde she started clapping

V6 Comments
16What do you get when a blond dies her hair brunett?

This one is hilarious is it artificial intelligence. Mybciusin taaughte that I could not stop laughing for like a hour

V4 Comments
17How did the blonde die in a helicopter crash?

This one is amazing. Love this one a lot. It is so funny. I rofled for half an hour.

im so glad I haven't been in a helicopter with a blond or id be dead:0!

V4 Comments
18What's the difference between a smart blond and big foot

There has been bigfoot sightings

Snap that is funny and I'm a blonde. Yet I'm in honors classes.

Bigfoot is uglier but smarter

19A smart blonde and the tooth fairy jump off a cliff who gets to the bottom first?

The tooth fairy. The blonde needs to stop and ask for directions.

The tooth fairy of course because the blonde was light headed

The tooth fairy duh stupid blonde probably asked gor directions

V4 Comments
20What do you do if a blonde throws a pin at you?

Well I would run because stupid probably has a grenade in her mouth

V2 Comments
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List StatsUpdated 5 Feb 2016

2,000 votes
77 listings
9 years, 339 days old

Top Remixes (6)

1. How do you know a blonde's having a bad day?
2. How did the blonde die at the baseball game?
3. How do you keep a blonde busy for 7 hours?
1. How do you drown a blonde?
2. What is the blonde skeleton in the closet?
3. How to keep stupid guy or girl (blonde) excited?
1. What do you get when a blond dies her hair brunett?
2. How do you keep a blonde busy for 2 days?
3. How do you keep a blonde busy for 7 hours?

View All 6


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