Best Blonde Jokes!

List suggested and partially made by a blonde, so, relax you fellow blondes, and enjoy some laughs!

The Top Ten

1 How do you keep a blonde busy for 7 hours?

Give her a piece of paper that has the words "Turn Over" on both sides

Put her in a round room and tell her to sit in the corner

Giver her m&m's and tell her to make a word with them. - EmptyShadow

I myself am brunette, but I don't appreciate all these blonde jokes. Yes, I happen to know a blonde that is annoying but I deal with it.

V 32 Comments
2 How do you know a blonde's having a bad day?

That's really funny but kind of disturbing to think about. Also kind of painful if it's a sharp pencil.

If her tampons behind her ear and she can't find her pen

The one below would hurt and I'm a guy. - Elwood


V 6 Comments
3 How did the blonde die at the baseball game?

It's the funniest joke ever laugh out loud laugh out loud laugh out loud laugh out loud

She got hit by the basketball in the head and got a concussion. - kaitlynrad11

I think that number one is the answer its obvious

I gotta game tomorrow hopfully I don't drown I yes I'm legally blonde as in I use to be until I died my hair

V 11 Comments
4 How did the blonde get past kindergarten?

She walked past the kindergarten classroom.

She didn't the blond still is in kindergarten

Wow that is some very funny jokes

She annoyed the only teacher so much that she quit.

V 9 Comments
5 How do you keep a blonde busy for 2 days?

Give her a piece of paper that has "please turn over" written on both sides

My cousin did this to my sister you think someone older would understand the joke instead of falling for it

Tell her to tell if your animal is a sheep or a dog

Very funny coming from a blonde

V 13 Comments
6 What do you call a smart blonde?

What do you call a smart blonde? There is only two simple little words to describe this joke and that is... A miracle...

Classic, but insulting to dogs. ;) I'm blonde myself and got that! Do I get a cookie? - Oreanta

Being a blonde myself I find them VERY funny-seem to ring a bell


V 18 Comments
7 Why do blondes have brused belly buttons?

Because they have blonde boyfriends

I'm a blonde and I wouldn't get that if someone explained it to me a million time hee hee

V 2 Comments
8 A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are running from the cops. They all hide in a barn.

The brunet hides with the pigs, he red head hides with the horses and the blonde hides behind a sack of potatoes. The cops enter the barn and shine a flash light on the pigs, the brunette says "oink oink" and the cops move on. The cops shine their flash lights on the horses, the red head goes "neigh neigh". Finally the cops shine a light on the sacs of potatoes and the blond says " potato potato".

That was funny I totally laughed at that one I'm not a blond

I love this joke I'm a blonde and I almost peed my pants because I probably would have done that myself.

V 2 Comments
9 Why did the blonde get kicked out of the M & M factory?

Because she kept throwing out the w's

Because she threw out all the w's

Because she stuck them on upside down

Laugh out loud! I love this one. - funnyuser

V 4 Comments
10 How do you drown a blonde?

You put a scratch and sniff sticker at the bottom of a pool... - heather

You put a cup full of water and put it in the pool and tell her don't come up till the water is gone.

Put a mirror at the bottom of the pool.

Tell her you're going to race her to the ocean floor, and never start. - Turkeyasylum

V 7 Comments

The Contenders

11 How do you get a 1 armed blonde to fall out of a tree?

Tell her to do pullups and get some one to wave at her
She'll wave back

Tell her that the branch shes on can replace her missing arm if she brakes it off

Tell her to climb a tree with one branch she will try and jump up to the top

Tell her to rake the leaves!.. Love this joke it awesome

V 1 Comment
12 What did the blonde see when she looked into a box of cheerios?

The blonde gasps then says, Bagels?

She thought that she seen doughnut seeds

Wow I think she said... Are those my glasses

I laughed right out loud with this one. GREAT! ! I dye my hair blonde--helps when I do something silly. Laugh out loud

V 3 Comments
13 How are a blonde and a UFO the same?

Its supposed to say "how are a smart blonde and a ufo the same" and the answer would be that you keep hearing about them but never see them

Neither of which are something you wanna come in contact with.

This is website it funny and I'm a blonde

You hear about them but they never come around.

V 3 Comments
14 What do you call a blonde who loves her boyfriend?

A hopeless romantic without the romantic part

I don't know, but obviously her boyfriend is her mirror...

I really like the 3rd one its very nice

That was a good one I really like the 2nd one

V 5 Comments
15 How did the blonde commit suicide?

She brought her hair dryer into her tub.

She put all her clothes in a pile and jumped off

By sticking a fork in a toaster to get the toast out

Well since blondes are dumb she probably brought the hair straightener in there

V 4 Comments
16 What do you get when a blond dies her hair brunett?

Artificial Intelligence...laugh out loud :-)

Well obviously she would be absolutely smart

This one is hilarious is it artificial intelligence. Mybciusin taaughte that I could not stop laughing for like a hour

V 2 Comments
17 How did the blonde die in a helicopter crash?

She got cold and turned the fan off!

This one is amazing. Love this one a lot. It is so funny. I rofled for half an hour.

She killed the pilot and tried to fly it herself

What is the answer

V 4 Comments
18 What's the difference between a smart blond and big foot

There has been bigfoot sightings

Snap that is funny and I'm a blonde. Yet I'm in honors classes.

V 1 Comment
19 A smart blonde and the tooth fairy jump off a cliff who gets to the bottom first?

The tooth fairy. The blonde needs to stop and ask for directions.

The tooth fairy of course because the blonde was light headed

The fairy, the blonde had to stop and ask for directions.

The tooth fairy. The blonde had less weight in her head

V 4 Comments
20 What do you do if a blonde throws a pin at you?

Run like hell she's got a grenade in her mouth

Well I would run because stupid probably has a grenade in her mouth

V 1 Comment
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List StatsUpdated 23 Jan 2017

2,000 votes
77 listings
10 years, 327 days old

Top Remixes (6)

1. How do you know a blonde's having a bad day?
2. How did the blonde die at the baseball game?
3. How do you keep a blonde busy for 7 hours?
1. How do you drown a blonde?
2. What is the blonde skeleton in the closet?
3. How to keep stupid guy or girl (blonde) excited?
1. What do you get when a blond dies her hair brunett?
2. How do you keep a blonde busy for 2 days?
3. How do you keep a blonde busy for 7 hours?

View All 6


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