Top 10 Funniest Conspiracy Theories that Don't Exist
What are some hilarious conspiracy theories you can come up with that don't exist?
(Note: This is for comedy only. I am not trying to offend anybody, and if I unintentionally do, then I apologize.)
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Your parents are grains of sand disguised as humans that worship magic coffee tables
This would be funny, but also kind of saddening knowing that your parents have just been sand all your life.
All hail the magic coffee tables! Peace come to the mighty Tablans!
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Walls are watching you and are secretly part of the Illuminati
I'm sorry, wall! I didn't mean to badmouth your organisation. Don't crush me!
So THAT'S why there's a hole in the wall of my apartment building!
But I thought I was part of the Illuminati...
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Everyone on TheTopTens is secretly part of an evil organization and is plotting against you
Mwahaha! Fear me! ...And every other TopTenner on the site but you. Because... reasons, I guess?
It's just like in the movies. I will tell you my whole evil plan and life story (why? Because I am a villain), and you kill me while I am doing it.
Maybe the high-ranking users are part of it. You ever notice they don't tell their success stories other than, "Work hard, do good"?
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Cats are planning the apocalypse by making it rain cheese
If this happens, I would just go out with lots of bowls and collect the food for my family. The world may be under attack, but at least we are full.
Oh no! Not the cheese! Anything but the cheese. It burns!
Stop cat discrimination, please!
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Everyone is actually hollow and their skin is made of ketchup
Bah, who needs logic and evidence when you can have ketchup skin?
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The dictionary was invented by aliens in order to make us understand their language
What dictionary? What language, and why? Meh, who cares? Aliens rule all.
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Your entire life was staged by McDonald's and you were born a second ago
I can understand that the first part is actually kind of believable (I watch Vsauce videos), but come on, it's McDonald's! Why would they want to stage the life of the public, and how?
How would you know your life was staged if you were just born?
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Water is actually the blood of a sacred sandwich in the sky
Mm! Just imagine what a sandwich, especially a sacred one, will taste like!
That means we are all vampires. Okay, keeps sipping the blood of sky-dwelling food.
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Cobwebs are portals into another dimension and spiders are the gatekeepers
I have put my hand through plenty of cobwebs. Does that mean that I am in another dimension now?
I've been through a lot of dimensions then.
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Justin Bieber is part of the Illuminati
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Switzerland is planning to take over the world by mind-controlling people with its Swiss chocolate
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Area 51 does not contain aliens
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We're in a video game called The Game of Life
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Justin Bieber's "music" is the real Devil's music
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Justin Bieber's music is played on the radio so that humanity can be emotionally monitored
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Dogs are actually carnivore-butterflies with bizarrely mutated bodies
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The moon is made of sugar and if you eat a handful of it, you will get a superpower
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Florida screws up so many things because it is shaped like a penis
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Tiredness is when your head gets replaced by a giant baguette in another reality
I'm tired a lot. Does that mean my head is constantly a sandwich?
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Lions have the power to change into Elmo's Potty Time books
Wouldn't it be so funny to be walking in the savannah when suddenly you see a random Elmo's Potty Time book?
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Pancakes are actually frozen acid blocks cut into circles and painted in light brown/orangish-brown
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Alligators are actually Martians who came to Earth to teach us boxing
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Cats are genetically mutated humans who will one day turn back to humans and turn us into cats and we will be pets
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There is a land south of Antarctica that has dragons
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John Lennon and Britney Spears are secretly the same person
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TheTopTens doesn't exist
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Ketchup comes from ostriches