Top Ten Stupidest Warning Messages

These are on some of the products people buy. They are all stupid and shouldn't exist.
The Top Ten
1 Warning: Remove child before folding (Pushchairs)

I'm glad I'm not the daughter of any mindless mother who would fold the chair while I'm in it...

Failure to do so counts as child abuse... Is anyone really this stupid?

2 Warning: Contains peanuts (Packet of peanuts)

I'm pretty sure this is for people with peanut allergies. Or they don't care that they're peanuts.

Really? Thanks dude! I thought it had Banana Cream Soda Pop Chocolate Brownie Potato in it!

What? I was about to eat this bag of peanuts, but it contains peanuts? I'm allergic.

3 Warning: This product moves when used (Scooter)

Everybody, we must glue our selves and animals to the ground, after burning everything else that provides transportation! It's dangerous to move!

Well, so do cars and buses! The whole concept of transport is dangerous!

Oh really? That's an odd thing for a scooter to do!

4 Warning: This costume does not enable flight (Superman costume)

Reality sucks doesn't it? Especially when you've already jumped off a building without reading this first.
If you think a cheap Superman costume will give you the ability to fly you deserve to die. No offence.

There are some rabid comic fans who would try out using the costume for umm.. practical purposes. Cases of death from falling have been registered which includes kids trying to fly like their superhero counterparts. The company can't take any risks you know.

One out of a hundred kids actually need this warning.

5 Warning: Pepper spray causes eye irritation (Pepper spray)

No, there are some ignorant fellows who would try to experiment with pepper sprays and hence the warning message. Pepper when used for fum can be really dangerous. Warning message is justifiable.

Dude someone at my friends school pepper sprayed the whole damn tuckshop!

6 Warning: May cause drowsiness (Sleeping pills)

Random person- It does! I'm gonna return this then because I didn't buy these to sleep!

Me after I heard him- You're stupider than that dude who thinks McDonald's burgers are healthy.

Yes, that's why I took it. So I could become sleepy and fall asleep.

Really? I never knew... (please note the sarcasm)

7 Warning: Do not eat (iPod Shuffle)

Ok Apple we get it, just because you're named after a popular fruit doesn't mean that people will eat you unless they have a serious problem... And no, we won't order a big mac either.

I once ate an iPhone and it tasted like an apple. I prefer my computers to be pc flavored. That is peppered chicken flavor. That was a joke.

No, don't have this, because if you are dumb enough to eat an iPod Shuffle then you deserve what's coming to you!

8 Warning: Avoid Death (Power tools)

It is in the nature of life to avoid death. Apparently it isn't the nature of life to put meaningful warnings on things.

I kind of want to commit suicide now after reading this. Thanks!

I almost failed this when I saw this warning message...

9 Warning: Do Not Swallow (Mattress)

Yes, well (clears throat)... :). Once bought a bathtub mat upon which, on the bottom side with the suckers, was embossed, TWICE, in LARGE letters : THIS SIDE DOWN. Knew right then that hope for the species was rapidly fading.

You think with something that size in your mouth it would be easy to swallow...?!

Is it bad read this and thought of something else...

10 Warning: Always use this product with adult supervision. (Cereal bowl)

Flinging it Frisbee-style at your little brother could cause some damage. Then there's that whole drowning-in-the milk thing. Breakfast is dangerous!

Because my grandma drowned in milk and my brother touched it and the fruit loops came out and attacked him.

Because my brother thought it was a hat and drowned in cereal.

The Contenders
11 Warning: Do not microwave (Flatscreen TV)

I think you'd need a pretty big microwave in order for someone to even think about that.

I want to know where it would be possible to find a microwave that big?

If you try you'll need a big microwave.

12 Warning: Do not use it on yourself (Blowtorch)

I can think of a few people who would do this, and its hard to believe that its possible to be dumb enough to do that!

The fact that when they put warnings on things it means that someone's done it...

I can still use it on other people though, right?

13 Warning: Never iron clothes while they are being worn (Iron)

Who would do this? If you do, please leave this planet, I don't want to live on the same planet as you.

You only make that mistake once... Or two times... Or several...

I'm pretty sure no idiot would think to do this.

14 Warning: Do Not Point at Eyes Nor Face (Camera)
15 Warning: Do not eat as it contains lead (4 inch long fishing tackle)

Why is fishing tackle only 4 inches?

16 Warning: Do Not Eat (Gasoline Tank)
17 1 Inch Deep No Diving (Beginning of Park Pool)

Why is a pool 1 inch deep? That is just a waste of water!

18 Warning: This object may have sharp edges (Knife)

Oh I already threw at my maths textbook for target practise and there were no cuts.

I like how they say "may". The whole purpose of a knife is to cut, hence sharp edges!

This object is sharp but, what the heck, let's live a little.

19 Warning: This is not a child's toy (Small Foam Basketball)

No, it's a small foam basketball with a bomb in it.

20 Warning: Do Not Throw at People (CD)

But that was what I was gonna do...

21 Warning: May cause uncontrollable laughter (TMX Elmo)

As what the box said. Some kids are scared of TMX Elmo.

22 Warning: Do not let anyone punch this (Pant Zipper)

Ow, ow, somebody kicked me in the balls and it hurt!

I punched it about 3848 times already so it's too late.

Tell them they have to kick it instead.

23 Warning: Do not turn upside down (On the upside down side of the box)

Too late, already have! that's like saying, oh that knifes sharp to somebody who has just chopped their fingers off!

You're gonna read the warning after turning it upside down!

Well, I guess they misplaced the warning then.

24 Warning: Do not use in water (Toaster)

I wanted to make toast for the dolphins...

25 Warning: Do Not Eat This (Cello Fruit Eraser)
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