Top 10 Stupidest Warning Messages

These are on some of the products people buy. They are all stupid and shouldn't exist.

1. Warning: Remove child before folding (Pushchair)

   I'm glad I'm not the daughter of any mindless mother who would fold the chair while I'm in it.

   Failure to do so counts as child abuse. Is anyone really this stupid?

2. Warning: Contains peanuts (Packet of peanuts)

   I'm pretty sure this is for people with peanut allergies. Or they don't care that they're peanuts.

   Really? Thanks, dude! I thought it had Banana Cream Soda Pop Chocolate Brownie Potato in it!

   What? I was about to eat this bag of peanuts, but it contains peanuts? I'm allergic.

3. Warning: Does not enable flight (Superman costume)

   Reality sucks, doesn't it? Especially when you've already jumped off a building without reading this first. If you think a cheap Superman costume will give you the ability to fly, you deserve what happens. No offense.

   There are some rabid comic fans who would try using the costume for, um, practical purposes. Cases of death from falling have been reported, including kids trying to fly like their superhero counterparts. The company can't take any risks, you know.

   One out of a hundred kids actually needs this warning.

4. Warning: Moves when used (Scooter)

   Everybody, we must glue ourselves and our animals to the ground, after burning everything else that provides transportation! It's dangerous to move!

   Well, so do cars and buses! The whole concept of transport is dangerous!

   Oh really? That's an odd thing for a scooter to do!

5. Warning: Causes eye irritation (Pepper spray)

   No, there are some ignorant fellows who would try to experiment with pepper spray, hence the warning message. Pepper, when used for fun, can be really dangerous. The warning message is justifiable.

   Dude, someone at my friend's school pepper-sprayed the whole damn tuck shop!

   Well, that's what it's used for.

6. Warning: May cause drowsiness (Sleeping pills)

   Random person: It does? I'm gonna return this then because I didn't buy these to sleep!

   Me, after I heard him: You're stupider than that dude who thinks McDonald's burgers are healthy.

   Yes, that's why I took it - so I could become sleepy and fall asleep.

   Really? I never knew. (Please note the sarcasm.)

7. Warning: Do not eat (iPod Shuffle)

   Ok Apple, we get it. Just because you're named after a popular fruit doesn't mean that people will eat you unless they have a serious problem. And no, we won't order a Big Mac either.

   I once ate an iPhone, and it tasted like an apple. I prefer my computers to be PC-flavored, that is, peppered chicken flavor. That was a joke.

   No, don't have this, because if you are dumb enough to eat an iPod Shuffle, then you deserve what's coming to you!

8. Warning: Avoid death (Power tools)

   It is in the nature of life to avoid death. Apparently, it isn't in the nature of life to put meaningful warnings on things.

   I almost failed this when I saw the warning message...

   Yeah, it's not a good thing if you die!

9. Warning: Do not swallow (Mattress)

   Yes, well (clears throat)... Once bought a bathtub mat upon which, on the bottom side with the suckers, was embossed twice, in large letters: THIS SIDE DOWN. Knew right then that hope for the species was rapidly fading.

   You think with something that size in your mouth, it would be easy to swallow?!

10. Warning: Use only with adult supervision (Cereal bowl)

    Flinging it Frisbee-style at your little brother could cause some damage. Then there's that whole drowning-in-the-milk thing. Breakfast is dangerous!

    Because my grandma drowned in milk, and my brother touched it, and the Froot Loops came out and attacked him.

    Because my brother thought it was a hat and drowned in cereal.

The Newcomers
11. ?

    Warning: Avoid contact with eyes. If contact occurs, flush with water (Hand sanitizer)

12. ?

    Warning: May cause uncontrollable laughter (TMX Elmo)

    As the box said, some kids are scared of TMX Elmo.

The Contenders

13. Warning: Do not microwave (Flat-screen TV)

    I think you'd need a pretty big microwave for someone to even consider that.

    I want to know where it would be possible to find a microwave that big.

    If you try, you'll need a big microwave.

14. Warning: Do not use on yourself (Blowtorch)

    I can think of a few people who would do this, and it's hard to believe that it's possible to be dumb enough to do that!

    The fact that they put warnings on things means that someone has already done it...

    I can still use it on other people though, right?

15. Warning: May have sharp edges (Knife)

    Oh, I already threw it at my math textbook for target practice, and there were no cuts.

    I like how they say "may." The whole purpose of a knife is to cut, hence the sharp edges!

    This object is sharp, but what the heck, let's live a little.

16. Warning: Never iron clothes while wearing them (Iron)

    Who would do this? If you do, please leave this planet. I don't want to live on the same planet as you.

    You only make that mistake once... Or twice... Or several times...

    I'm pretty sure no idiot would think to do this.

17. Warning: Do not point at eyes or face (Camera)

18. Warning: Do not eat (Gasoline tank)

19. Warning: Do not eat. Contains lead (Fishing tackle, 4 inches)

    Why is fishing tackle only 4 inches?

20. Warning: No diving in 1-inch-deep water (Park pool)

    Why is a pool 1 inch deep? That is just a waste of water!

21. Warning: Not a child's toy (Small foam basketball)

    No, it's a small foam basketball with a bomb in it.

22. Warning: Do not throw at people (CD)

    But that was what I was gonna do...

23. Warning: Do not let anyone punch this (Pant zipper)

    Ow, ow, somebody kicked me in the balls, and it hurt!

    I punched it about 3,848 times already, so it's too late.

    Tell them they have to kick it instead.

24. Warning: Do not turn upside down (Underside of shipping box)

    Too late, already have! That's like saying, Oh, that knife's sharp, to somebody who has just chopped their fingers off!

    You're going to read the warning after turning it upside down!

    Well, I guess they misplaced the warning then.

25. Warning: Do not eat (Cello fruit eraser)

26. Warning: Do not use in water (Toaster)

    I wanted to make toast for the dolphins...

27. Warning: Do not pet (Crocodile)

    Petting crocodile Wha- Looks over and sees that my arm is missing Oh, that's why the label was there...