Top 10 Worst Football (Soccer) National Teams

We always hear about the best in the world, but rarely about those sides that feature towards the lower end of the FIFA rankings. However the rankings aren’t always correct with how good a team actually is, and is calculated with points on which teams you play, the competition and the result. An example is Switzerland, who sit in 8th place in the rankings, whilst France are in 20th. Although most other countries are happy to see France so far down the list, it is a clear misguided table on how good each nation actually is. Looking at the wrong end of the scale, mostly not in the FIFA rankings at all, here is a list of the 10 worst national sides.
The Top Ten
1 Kiribati

Kiribati has played just 10 times. Losing all 10 matches, their results pose for interesting reading. All their games came in the pacific games. They played twice in 1979 losing a combined 37-0, with their heaviest defeat against host nation Fiji 24-0. Their last run in the competition in 2011 was a little better for them losing back to back 17-1 Tahiti and Papa New Guinea, with a closely fought 3-0 loss to the Cook Islands. An impressive 123 goals let in, in just 10 games. A country you must go and see if you are a neutral. Well, I'm not sure how many of the Islands 100,000 residents would actually see this.

2 Eastern Samoa (American Samoa)

The only reason Eastern Samoa are placed so high on the list, is because they have actually won a few more games than the others below it. From 42 games, they have managed 2 wins. Yes, that's more than San Marino, but they are this low because as any avid football fan will remember, they were on the end of the biggest international defeat in April 2001. Coming off the back of an 8-0 loss Western Samoa, they went into the game against Australia with little hope. They lost by an incredible 31-0, with Australian Archie Thompson scoring 13 times for his country (Making him appear a world beater by his stats alone). Things have gotten far better for Eastern Samoa though. In their last 3 games they have conceded just once in each winning one, drawing one and losing the other. Surprising to say 95% of the country is obese. At least they are number one in something.

3 United States

They call Football Soccer. They don't know the real name. They confuse it with rugby. Terrible at football. Just good at Basketball and Baseball.

I'm from the us but here is the thing they play horrible soccer. It is very ugly although the they are doing good in cola they still suck

I doubt most of them even know how the sport works. They probably don't know how the offside rule works.

4 Palau

Not bottom of the list for a reason. This nation has only played twice and both came in 1998 at the Micronesian games. They do have a good goals to games record after scoring twice in each game, but conceding 15 goals in one, and 11 in the other, is wasn't as close as you'd have like. The nations they played? Guam and Northern Mariana Islands who themselves scored 11 out of their 25 overall goals in that game. Clearly they don't pose a threat to anyone; even the jellyfish on the island have lost their sting. Maybe the guys who are in our next side should give them a go.

5 England

In terms of expectation vs. reality, England is quite easily the worst of the bunch. In every major tournament, they come in with lofty expectations of making the semi-finals, but more often than not, they crash and burn to a team with passion. The England team hasn't put in a decent performance at a major competition since the 1996 Euros, and really shouldn't be expected to considering how little the team seems to care about their nation. In addition, the fans are delusional, as well as, although it has improved, a track record of hooliganism. It also appears as though all England fans love to bash the US, when, in reality, we have consistently outperformed them when it matters most.

6 Bhutan

This landlocked country has the largest population out of all on the list, yet rightly finds itself near the lower ends. They've played 61 times as a nation winning an impressive four times. With their last win coming in a 3-1 triumph over Afghanistan in June, 2008. You can't help but feel Afghanistan may have been a little pre-occupied. However, a win is a win. On the Elo ratings, they find themselves 230th out of 233 nations, but with the government only lifting a ban on T.V. and internet 11 years ago, maybe they thought they were one of the best?!

7 Saint Pierre and Miquelon

With the smallest population on the list, just 5,774 inhabitants, it was always going to be difficult for this little self-governing French territory. They have played just 7 games as a nation and all since 2010 in the French Territory Cup. Their results are impressive though. They have scored just 2, whilst allowing their opponents 78 goals. An average of 10.1 conceded per game. Jose Mourinho would have a tough time with this nation. Their smallest loss to date is a 7-0 to French Guiana, whilst their largest a 16-1 defeat to New Caledonia. Still, least they scored. With the islands 3 airports, at least they can escape the brutality of their defeats once they are over.

8 Vatican City

Who even plays for the Vatican. The Vatican only has 800 residents and nearly all of them have a job related to religion like a cardinal or a bishop and even a pope.

How can they even create a soccer team when they have like 1k people living in there?

They are not even a member of FIFA!

9 Somalia

People who act like this are a disgrace and should not be banned because they are incapable of showing sportsmanship.

They have terrorists which will kill the ref for bribes, that makes me worried putting them on this list

10 Argentina

Listen Argentina Does Not suck. the fact your just saying they're only good because they have Messi is kind of sad. Its not lose together and win alone, its win together lose alone Messi is not the only one who scores goals. + Messi is obviously not gonna join some Half star rating team.

Yeah your exactly right Argentina are a gun team, almost beating Germany in the World Cup and who doesn't know Messi best soccer player in the world and plays for the Argentinian soccer national team!

They think they are better then every other national team because they have Messi, and half the time messi is only good when there are other good players with him..

The Contenders
11 Micronesia

They reaaally suck.They lost to three teams by more than 30 - 0 and had more than 100 goals conceded on just three games!

The u-23 sucks losing 46-0 and 38-0 in just two games worst team ever hardly winning a match

12 Iraq
13 Tonga

Tonga is another small nation in the OFC that will probably never qualify for the World Cup. With a population of around 100k the island nation doesn't have a huge population to choose from. Tonga once lost to Australia 22-0. AKA they suck

They are currently tied for the worst national team in the FIFA rankings.

They are ranked last, I'm surprised that they have a team.

14 Pohnpei State's National Team

Another nation not on the FIFA rankings is Pohnpei, a small island located in the Pacific Ocean, who began playing football almost 29 years ago with very little to shout about. They came to light by many after 2 Englishmen Paul Watson and Matt Conrad took to the Island after searching Wikipedia for the worst nation and to become International coaches. Only when they got there it wasn't as easy as they thought. 91% of the population was obese, and the island only had 2 pitches, one a swamp, the other a large slope. This didn't deter them, and whilst on a tour in Guam, they saw their only Victory in a 7-1 win over Crushers FC. Still, it will be a long way till they can match the likes of Spain and Argentina.

15 Iran

Iran is by far in my opinion the best team in asia. Don't believe me? Search it up

They are the worst if don't know how they made it to the World Cup

16 South Korea

What the hell man I'm South Korean
I admit that we sucked at the 2014world cup.
But we reached the semi-finals in the 2002world cup. We beat Italy and Spain in the way.
We Beat Germany 3-1 in 2003. They had Philip Lam and Schweinsteiger and all those top class guys playing.
We won the Asian games in 2014.
We placed runner-ups in the 2015 Asian Cup.
Australia was the winner, but they're not Asian. They're ancestors are European. They joined the Aisian cup because all the other teams in Oceania is so terrible to even paly with. So we were the best in Asian teams. And we are the best in Asia even now. Japan? We won more against them.
Of course we are losers compared to you Europeans and South Americans, But that doesn't mean that you should put us in the worst team in the world.

17 Pakistan
18 San Marino

The only European side on this list is San Marino. They are the whipping boys of Euro qualification for major tournaments. With 0 points, they join the Turks and the Caicos at the bottom of the FIFA rankings, but with a far worse record. Playing a total 122 games, they have won just the once, drawing three and losing the rest. With a record of conceding an average of 4.36 goals per game and scoring 0.16, life doesn't bode well for the small nation. Bar their only win, they still celebrate scoring in 8 seconds v England in 1993. They lost 7-1 mind. What do you expect from a country with just 31,000 citizens?

19 Ireland

Ireland may not be the best team but I don't think they are this bad

20 Greece
21 Indonesia

FIFA gave a penalty. They can't play anymore

22 Niue
23 Nauru

Bad forwards, bad midfields, bad goalkeeper and bad back people

24 China

I'm from China. Since I was born I've never actually seen the Chinese team make it into world cup

25 Anguilla

With a population of 15,000 people, Anguilla should be proud of being above 6 other countries. They have won 3 times in their 48 outings as a national side. Their last win was as recent as 2010, in a Caribbean Cup fixture against Saint Martin 2-1. They have had a few big loses, with their biggest being a 14-0 loss back in 1998 to Guyana. For an island that is 16 miles long, and just 3 miles wide, their stats are far more impressive than they appear.

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