Worst Things for a Male to Say When Meeting His Girlfriend's Parents for the First Time

Yes, it's a nerve-wracking experience which is why you might want to avoid saying anything on this list...

The Top Ten

She's pregnant

Want to get your head cut off, and get hung on the wall as an antique? Go right ahead and say this to them.

Might wanna get out of the house before her father calls the cops on you.

Don't SAY THAT!

Yeahh... Can't say I disagree.

Haha! Yeah, I've seen her birthmark

Be it on your own head. Just don't say Britgirl didn't try and warn you!

well mine is on my face so everyone has seen it, I mean it's large, you can't miss it, so this would be fine to say to my parent's,

Can't stop long. Got the wife waiting for me in the car.

IF YOU SAY THAT YER GIRL FRIEND MAY think you are cheating on her

I might've knocked up your daughter

Uh...do I want to know what this means? No, not really.

This can make your head to be cut off

This is just a bit of fun really

You'd be in through the front door and out through the back window. - Britgirl

Better not shake hands - I've got a hand fungus. Ain't been identified yet!

I'm unemployed. Yeah, have been for... What. four years now?

Wow! How much is a gaff like THIS worth?!

What? My intentions? What're you going on about?!

So, how much you want for her?

...because I'd pay anything to have her.

This doesn't sound like prostitution at all o_O

The Contenders

I thought you said your sister would be here...?

Oh my God! Absolutely do not say that! Not if you value the friendship you have with your kneecaps anyway! - Britgirl

How about "Her Sister's in a similar price bracket, right? " - PositronWildhawk

YEAH DO NOT SAY THAT. THEY AND HER WILL JUST THINK YOU ARE JUST THERE TO SEE HER SISTER

How many grandchildren do you want?

Hey can your daughter and I have sex in your bed

Her sister's in a similar price bracket, right?

Ha! I think I've seen this one somewhere before... Funny but indeed one of the worst things to say. - Britgirl

Your daughter is incredible in the sack

SHE LOVES PRETENDING TO BE A POTATO! - PositronWildhawk

If you said this her dad would probably punch you in the face

Big Brother is my favorite show

Horrible thing to say - BigBrotherSucks

I hope you trained her as a personal waitress

I hope nobody says this...

I molested your daughter

I totally respect Amy. . Oh, sorry, Poppy? Lisa. . .?

This one's laugh out loud funny. :D

Are those breast implants?

Why, thank you for noticing. They're the most manly implants in the world.

Alright, Dave, mate? You must be 'er old man

Hello. I'm not against roughly-spoken men but it might be an idea NOT to greet my Father quite so informally. "SIR" would do. Haha! - Britgirl

Britgirl - I can't ever imagine you bringing home someone as rough-spoken as this to meet your family!

Only say this if you've spoken on the phone several times beforehand. - IronSabbathPriest

Probably best to be a LITTLE more respectful? - Britgirl

Yeah, she's gonna be a great mother. I speak from her experience.

Let's have a giant orgy together

I actually don't know what an "orgy" is and have a feeling that since it's on a lot of cards in "cards against humanity" that I don't want to know.

It was awkward first time. How about you when you first met?

Is she on the pill?

I was at one time.

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