Top 10 Funniest Text Message Alerts

There are so many different text alerts out there, but these are some that I can remember because they made me laugh. Feel free to add your own suggestions for great alert tones as well.

It doesn't matter if they're made up - if you think it would sound funny, go ahead and add it to the list!
The Top Ten
(In a posh English voice) Excuse me, sir, but I'm afraid someone is endeavouring to contact you telephonically. Shall I tell them to f*** off?

This should be an answerphone message. Imagine if your grandmother or the taxman phoned you and got this! Chortle!

Oh my god, I love this one! - IceFoxPlayz

Amazing. Pure amazingness.

(Yoda) Ooh. Message from the dark side, you have!

This actually used to be my text tone. I got rid of it after it went off in a big crowd near Hyde Park. So embarrassing.

One of my favourites.

This is a sexy text message. Shall I read it out loud?

Everyone will be listening for the message.

Haha, I'd be like, No, no, no! NO! Don't!

Let my fart noise alert you to a text message
Psss! Shhh! Listen... YOU'VE GOT MAIL!

Hah. This is the best. Why is this not first? Why.

I seriously want this one. Fabulous.

Brilliant to hear in a library. Haha!

It's your wife... Again!
Hey, someone has actually sent you a message. Pity you don't know how to answer!

This might be Nick Clegg's text tone.

Relatable... sadly.

(Leonidas' voice) This is..... MESSAGE!!!
Don't read this text message. It's another from your stalker
Bazinga

The Newcomers

? I know where you live
? Chuck Norris can check his phone, but apparently you can't
The Contenders
From Psycho: This is your mother, Norman!
The Queen is on hold

This would be hilarious (also kind of embarrassing, and if you want, sad) in public now, since, y'know, post-2023.

Great way to draw attention.

Your XXX delivery has arrived

Embarrassing...

Orgasm noises
A voice: Beep beep. Clunk, bang, plop, plop, ping. You just can't get the staff nowadays.
Rakim yo ugly ahh got a message
The mailman's here
I love my man
You've got a text, but it's not from that girl. Sorry.

Or boy... Lol. I can already imagine my friends' faces if they were to hear this - at least, the two who know who I have a crush on. Too bad I don't have his number. Too bad I'm not friends with him either. Too bad I always feel shy around him.

Let me out, I'm stuck in your pocket

THIS. Why is this not higher?

Oh crap! It's your sister!
(Rebecca Black style) Message, message, now you have a message. Everyone's looking forward to read it out loud!
Going to Ouija mode...
Someone says taco
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