Top 10 Funniest Insults


July 28, 2015 - Don't agree with the list? Vote for an existing item you think should be ranked higher or if you are a logged in, add a new item for others to vote on or create your own version of this list.

The Top Ten

You're so poor I saw you kicking a can across the street I asked you what you were doing you said moving.
, that is a genius come-back! That is so SMART! Even I wouldn't have thought of that, though I am really bad at comebacks.
Great comeback used it so much at school
I'm using this one on The next person I see I hate
Well I got a joke that will kill you god made rivers god made lakes god made you hell everyone makes mistakes
[Newest]That's so funny I'm gonna tell this to my boyfriend

2Roses are red violets are blue, God made me pretty, what happened to you?
Another one is:Roses are red and violets are blue: I thought I was ugly until I met ya
Roses are red violets are blue I got five fingers the middle one's for you


Why on earth are you here?! School doesn't allow litter.
[Newest]I so have to use this!

3We can always tell when you are lying. Your lips move.
Laugh out loud great for my main enemy that lies A LOT
Used it on my bro he got peed off
It means. "Stop it man, you lie like ALL THE TIME! ".
[Newest]Lol gonna use it on a bully at school

4The only way you'll ever get laid is if you crawl up a chicken's ass and wait.
Wow this is perfect. "Yo mama" jokes are cruel and unfunny. But this? This is comic GOLD!
That is a true burn. The one true burn. BURN! Be it Indian, Chinese or just leant on a soldering iron, it's a BUR!


Laugh out loud this is hilarious!
[Newest]This is pretentious, eggs come out of the cloaca

5You married Barney
"your birth certifercet is an apology for the condom factory"
You so ugly that santa paid you to kill yourself
I don't get it but I'm sure someone will find it funny...
[Newest]I insulted my teacher with this and he got suspended

6Your dad's condom is a bigger than your personality
I'm so gonna use this classy one
I am cracking up with my friend ha ha ha ha ha ha ha
Dude my brother is like this
[Newest]That because you live in it

7Oh my God, look at you. Anyone else hurt in the accident
I love this one totally using it on someone from my school, totally gonna shut them up!
This is so funny I and totally going to use this when my uncles disses me again you wait because this insult will be used. I garden tee you that this is the best insult ever to be found please use it because I am
This is so funny! I am so going to use this on my friends when they're making fun of me again. I'll bet this will make them shut up.
[Newest]This is so funny... Whoever came up with this should be RICH💰💵💸

My ass smells like cherry coke on a sundernesday because of the time I drove my donkey to work on a twinkie plane... I just said mommy in the bath tub with batman
I started laughing my ass off when all I saw was dumbass. That's a word not a insult
Just classic use of insults since it always leaves your enemy slack dropped of and pissed off. I did this on my mates and they were owned
[Newest]Your so ugly that people with deal with it sunglasses can't deal with it. You like it? :-)

9Hey, I looked up a hobo in the dictionary and the definition was you
Don't work out so will
Laugh out loud so funny!
Ha ha laugh out loud
[Newest]Hey you so thick you have to look up hobo in the dictionary and can't even read it right

10Yo mama so ugly when she looked in the mirror her reflection walked away
I love this so much
Laugh out loud so funny
I usually hate yo mamma jokes but this one is decent


[Newest]Hilarious I tried this one on my arch enemy

The Contenders

11Save your breath...You'll need it to blow up your date.
I love you man! This is the best come back of all time
So hilarious I can use it on m enemies who have dates and break them up

12I would ask you how old you are but I know you can't count that high.
Nice one! :P Always wanted to try this, just waiting for the chance to try it! I totally agree with this one though.
Laugh out loud I should say that to my worst enemy!
Best one ever (after th eapology note from the condem factory


[Newest]I love this joke it is so funny. This kid who lives behind me always insults me and I insult him back!

13I'm busy now. Can I ignore you some other time?
This joke is way better than the ther ones. I t's funny it makes sense and it doesn't sound like some three year old isn't trying to make fun of you...
So good! This is probably one of the only comebacks which would actually work when it's not inside your head - reality stinks
That's awesome without being to insulting or hurtful to someones family or looks! I will use this today.
[Newest]And the comeback for this one is "The same way you ignore the fact that you're a douche? "

14You have enough fat to make another human
Man, this is so offensive but it's also at the same time hilarious
Just thought of it
! This is the best thing I have heard in a while! This is so offensive but so bloody hilarious!

15You so ugly when who were born the doctor threw you out the window and the window threw you back
So funny laugh out loud
You were so ugly when you were born that the doctor told your mom what a treasure and your mom said yeah lets bury it
Love it used it on my friend he was lost for words! Thanks man
[Newest]Very cheeky. Very funny.

16I'd like to help you out. Which way did you come in?
Used it already! Very good insult to use on people, love it you should use it to it messes people up a lot. Amazing!
its funny! plus.. Who whould say that?
Haha that's funny it would take a while for the person to catch on! Laugh out loud
[Newest]It's taking ME a while to catch on

17Yo mama so stupid she still can't figure out how to tie her shoes
Maybe because they're Velcro :L

18Do you still love nature, despite what it did to you?
Ohh! Major burn! I will have to try this. People always make fun of my pixie cut and the size of my nose so now i, ll always have a comeback!
Laugh out loud burn to any one who will try and insult me rotfl
You mom is so fat, every time she wears high heels, she strikes oil.
[Newest]That is truly hilarious

19I believe in respect for the dead; in fact, I could only respect you if you WERE dead.
Very cruel. What if I tell my boyfriend this...
My enemy is going to be so confused when I tell her this

20Your so fat that the equator is 20000m times shorter than your belt
Are you Australian? You said the word 'mate. ' It's fine if you R. I'm attracted to cute Australians. Forget British accents!
English tricky language...

Its: Your so fat that the equator is 20000 time shorter OR 20000 times shorter, not both mate
I peed my self of laughter

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This list was created 5 years, 18 days ago and has been voted on over 2,000 times. This top ten list contains 217 items, has been remixed 8 times.

Updated Tuesday, July 28, 2015

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