Top 10 Funniest Insults

Celestius

The Top TenXW

1You're so poor I saw you kicking a can across the street I asked you what you were doing you said moving.

, that is a genius come-back! That is so SMART! Even I wouldn't have thought of that, though I am really bad at comebacks.

Great comeback used it so much at school

I'm using this one on The next person I see I hate

Well I got a joke that will kill you god made rivers god made lakes god made you hell everyone makes mistakes

Me too I'm also awful at comebacks

V24 Comments
2Roses are red violets are blue, God made me pretty, what happened to you?

Another one is:Roses are red and violets are blue: I thought I was ugly until I met ya

Roses are red violets are blue I got five fingers the middle one's for you - PewDiePie

Why on earth are you here?! School doesn't allow litter.

Warts on your face and pimples on your ass how beautiful you look with that 100 metre long ass

V60 Comments
3Hey, I looked up a hobo in the dictionary and the definition was you

I tried that on my sister and got slapped.

Hey you so thick you have to look up hobo in the dictionary and can't even read it right

Yes! I did it on my friends there face turned red

That is so funny lol

V10 Comments
4We can always tell when you are lying. Your lips move.

Laugh out loud great for my main enemy that lies A LOT

I know you lie your lips are moving tell me do you think I'm dumb

It means. "Stop it man, you lie like ALL THE TIME! ".

This won got me LMFAO

V12 Comments
5The only way you'll ever get laid is if you crawl up a chicken's ass and wait.

Wow this is perfect. "Yo mama" jokes are cruel and unfunny. But this? This is comic GOLD!

Laugh out loud this is hilarious!

That is a true burn. The one true burn. BURN! Be it Indian, Chinese or just leant on a soldering iron, it's a BUR! - PositronWildhawk

That is really funny I used it one this kid and he couldn't come back with anything

V22 Comments
6Dumbass

My ass smells like cherry coke on a sundernesday because of the time I drove my donkey to work on a twinkie plane... I just said mommy in the bath tub with batman

I started laughing my ass off when all I saw was dumbass. That's a word not a insult

Just classic use of insults since it always leaves your enemy slack dropped of and pissed off. I did this on my mates and they were owned

So so so funny

V8 Comments
7Your dad's condom is a bigger than your personality

I am cracking up with my friend ha ha ha ha ha ha ha

HAHAAHAHAAHAHA it is a good one I will use this on my classmates

Erm what the hell is this? I don't like the condom part but it is actually a good diss...

That because you live in it

V7 Comments
8You married Barney

You so ugly that santa paid you to kill yourself

I don't get it but I'm sure someone will find it funny...

If I was your mirror I would break down; seven years of brain damage for you!

That is so that your dads condom failed

V17 Comments
9Oh my God, look at you. Anyone else hurt in the accident

I love this one totally using it on someone from my school, totally gonna shut them up!

This is so funny I and totally going to use this when my uncles disses me again you wait because this insult will be used. I garden tee you that this is the best insult ever to be found please use it because I am

This is so funny! I am so going to use this on my friends when they're making fun of me again. I'll bet this will make them shut up.

Yo mamas so stupid she died in a grocery store!

V9 Comments
10Yo mama so ugly when she looked in the mirror her reflection walked away

I usually hate yo mamma jokes but this one is decent - Leaftail

You mama so fat when she fell down the stairs it sounded like the start of eastenders

I don't think it ever came back and I don't blame it lol.

That is really old for me by Lewis Hamilton

V14 Comments

The Contenders

11I'm busy now. Can I ignore you some other time?

This joke is way better than the ther ones. I t's funny it makes sense and it doesn't sound like some three year old isn't trying to make fun of you...

So good! This is probably one of the only comebacks which would actually work when it's not inside your head - reality stinks

That's awesome without being to insulting or hurtful to someones family or looks! I will use this today.

I always say this when I'm playing video games! 2@$

V13 Comments
12I would ask you how old you are but I know you can't count that high.

Nice one! :P Always wanted to try this, just waiting for the chance to try it! I totally agree with this one though.

Laugh out loud I should say that to my worst enemy!

I love this joke it is so funny. This kid who lives behind me always insults me and I insult him back!

This one I used it on a rude person on roblox he then asked me what ten plus nine is its 19

V16 Comments
13Ahhh!!! Run a bear, oh wait that's just your mom

I always use this when I met my girlfriend's mom

V4 Comments
14You so ugly when who were born the doctor threw you out the window and the window threw you back

You were so ugly when you were born that the doctor told your mom what a treasure and your mom said yeah lets bury it

Love it used it on my friend he was lost for words! Thanks man

If I were the window I would open up and put the poor child out of it's misery

The moment I saw this I laughed my balls off

V11 Comments
15You have enough fat to make another human

Man, this is so offensive but it's also at the same time hilarious

! This is the best thing I have heard in a while! This is so offensive but so bloody hilarious!

Tat is well cool and funny and offensive

I tried this on this fat kid in my class and she started crying

V6 Comments
16Save your breath...You'll need it to blow up your date.

So hilarious I can use it on m enemies who have dates and break them up

V3 Comments
17Shut up, you'll never be the man your mother is

So funny it brought tears to my eyes

Damn funny! My favorite until now!

I tryed this on one of the people I don't like and the stared crying...it was hella funny doe

V4 Comments
18I'd like to help you out. Which way did you come in?

Used it already! Very good insult to use on people, love it you should use it to it messes people up a lot. Amazing!

Haha that's funny it would take a while for the person to catch on! Laugh out loud

THIS ONES ON A JAYJAYS T-SHIRT... ME BROTHER HAS IT...
its funny! plus.. Who whould say that?

It's taking ME a while to catch on

V1 Comment
19Do you still love nature, despite what it did to you?

Ohh! Major burn! I will have to try this. People always make fun of my pixie cut and the size of my nose so now i, ll always have a comeback!

You mom is so fat, every time she wears high heels, she strikes oil.

I love nature but when I hate someone I wish it left

That is truly hilarious

V9 Comments
20Yo mama so stupid she still can't figure out how to tie her shoesV2 Comments
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List StatsUpdated 10 Dec 2016

2,000 votes
263 listings
6 years, 154 days old

Top Remixes (9)

1. Dumbass
2. Your dad's condom is a bigger than your personality
3. You're so poor I saw you kicking a can across the street I asked you what you were doing you said moving.
shadicxd
1. You married Barney
2. The only way you'll ever get laid is if you crawl up a chicken's ass and wait.
3. We can always tell when you are lying. Your lips move.
DESERTFOX
1. You married Barney
2. People gulper
3. Bunny kisser
AlienRocker6782

WRemix
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