Top 10 Funniest Insults


The Top TenXW

1You're so poor I saw you kicking a can across the street I asked you what you were doing you said moving.

, that is a genius come-back! That is so SMART! Even I wouldn't have thought of that, though I am really bad at comebacks.

Great comeback used it so much at school

I'm using this one on The next person I see I hate

Well I got a joke that will kill you god made rivers god made lakes god made you hell everyone makes mistakes

That is pretty poor

V15 Comments
2Roses are red violets are blue, God made me pretty, what happened to you?

Another one is:Roses are red and violets are blue: I thought I was ugly until I met ya

Roses are red violets are blue I got five fingers the middle one's for you - PewDiePie

Why on earth are you here?! School doesn't allow litter.

You never get pretty with that face

V47 Comments
3Hey, I looked up a hobo in the dictionary and the definition was you

Don't work out so will

Ha ha laugh out loud

Laugh out loud so funny!

Hey you so thick you have to look up hobo in the dictionary and can't even read it right

V8 Comments
4We can always tell when you are lying. Your lips move.

Laugh out loud great for my main enemy that lies A LOT

Used it on my bro he got peed off

It means. "Stop it man, you lie like ALL THE TIME! ".

This won got me LMFAO

V15 Comments

My ass smells like cherry coke on a sundernesday because of the time I drove my donkey to work on a twinkie plane... I just said mommy in the bath tub with batman

I started laughing my ass off when all I saw was dumbass. That's a word not a insult

Just classic use of insults since it always leaves your enemy slack dropped of and pissed off. I did this on my mates and they were owned

I didn't like this one cause it makes no sense

V9 Comments
6The only way you'll ever get laid is if you crawl up a chicken's ass and wait.

Wow this is perfect. "Yo mama" jokes are cruel and unfunny. But this? This is comic GOLD!

That is a true burn. The one true burn. BURN! Be it Indian, Chinese or just leant on a soldering iron, it's a BUR! - PositronWildhawk

Laugh out loud this is hilarious!

This is pretentious, eggs come out of the cloaca

V21 Comments
7You married Barney

"your birth certifercet is an apology for the condom factory"

You so ugly that santa paid you to kill yourself

I don't get it but I'm sure someone will find it funny...

If I was your mirror I would break down; seven years of brain damage for you!

V17 Comments
8Oh my God, look at you. Anyone else hurt in the accident

I love this one totally using it on someone from my school, totally gonna shut them up!

This is so funny I and totally going to use this when my uncles disses me again you wait because this insult will be used. I garden tee you that this is the best insult ever to be found please use it because I am

This is so funny! I am so going to use this on my friends when they're making fun of me again. I'll bet this will make them shut up.

This is so funny... Whoever came up with this should be RICH💰💵💸

V13 Comments
9Your dad's condom is a bigger than your personality

I'm so gonna use this classy one

I am cracking up with my friend ha ha ha ha ha ha ha

Dude my brother is like this

That because you live in it

V9 Comments
10Yo mama so ugly when she looked in the mirror her reflection walked away

I love this so much

Laugh out loud so funny

I usually hate yo mamma jokes but this one is decent - Leaftail

This is a good on

V12 Comments

The Newcomers

?When your mother gave birth to you the doctors went on strike
?Hey, you wanna see something stupid? Look in the mirror.

The Contenders

11I would ask you how old you are but I know you can't count that high.

Nice one! :P Always wanted to try this, just waiting for the chance to try it! I totally agree with this one though.

Laugh out loud I should say that to my worst enemy!

I love this joke it is so funny. This kid who lives behind me always insults me and I insult him back!

Thank yo now I now what to say to A bully at my school

V15 Comments
12I'm busy now. Can I ignore you some other time?

This joke is way better than the ther ones. I t's funny it makes sense and it doesn't sound like some three year old isn't trying to make fun of you...

So good! This is probably one of the only comebacks which would actually work when it's not inside your head - reality stinks

That's awesome without being to insulting or hurtful to someones family or looks! I will use this today.

And the comeback for this one is "The same way you ignore the fact that you're a douche? "

V15 Comments
13Ahhh!!! Run a bear, oh wait that's just your mom

Laugh out loud funny as ever

14You so ugly when who were born the doctor threw you out the window and the window threw you back

So funny laugh out loud

You were so ugly when you were born that the doctor told your mom what a treasure and your mom said yeah lets bury it

Love it used it on my friend he was lost for words! Thanks man

Very cheeky. Very funny.

V11 Comments
15You have enough fat to make another human

Man, this is so offensive but it's also at the same time hilarious

Just thought of it

! This is the best thing I have heard in a while! This is so offensive but so bloody hilarious!

But they need the body parts!

V5 Comments
16Save your breath...You'll need it to blow up your date.

I love you man! This is the best come back of all time

So hilarious I can use it on m enemies who have dates and break them up

17I'd like to help you out. Which way did you come in?

Used it already! Very good insult to use on people, love it you should use it to it messes people up a lot. Amazing!

its funny! plus.. Who whould say that?

Haha that's funny it would take a while for the person to catch on! Laugh out loud

It's taking ME a while to catch on

V5 Comments
18Everybody makes mistakes, even God did when he made your face

That stupid I Don't take comeback with God name so u should got to the dictionary and look up the word stupid because it said u

Best come back ever!

Everybody makes mistakes even your mum when she forgot condoms

That is some epic cuss. I gotta use that tomorrow at school.

V6 Comments
19Do you still love nature, despite what it did to you?

Ohh! Major burn! I will have to try this. People always make fun of my pixie cut and the size of my nose so now i, ll always have a comeback!

Laugh out loud burn to any one who will try and insult me rotfl

You mom is so fat, every time she wears high heels, she strikes oil.

That is truly hilarious

V12 Comments
20Shut up, you'll never be the man your mother is

So funny it brought tears to my eyes

Not sure if I should be laughing or sympathysing this guy

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List StatsUpdated 28 Nov 2015

2,000 votes
255 listings
5 years, 141 days old

Top Remixes (9)

1. You married Barney
2. People gulper
3. Bunny kisser
1. You married Barney
2. The only way you'll ever get laid is if you crawl up a chicken's ass and wait.
3. We can always tell when you are lying. Your lips move.
1. You have enough fat to make another human
2. Your so fat that the equator is 20000m times shorter than your belt
3. Your so lazy that you ask someone to come to your house to change the tv channel

View All 9


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