Top 10 Funniest Insults
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The Top Ten
1You're so poor I saw you kicking a can across the street I asked you what you were doing you said moving.
2Roses are red violets are blue, God made me pretty, what happened to you?
3We can always tell when you are lying. Your lips move.
4The only way you'll ever get laid is if you crawl up a chicken's ass and wait.
5You married Barney
6Yo mama so ugly when she looked in the mirror her reflection walked away
7Your dad's condom is a bigger than your personality
9Hey, I looked up a hobo in the dictionary and the definition was you
10Oh my God, look at you. Anyone else hurt in the accident
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11I would ask you how old you are but I know you can't count that high.
12You have enough fat to make another human
13I'm busy now. Can I ignore you some other time?
14You so ugly when who were born the doctor threw you out the window and the window threw you back
15Save your breath...You'll need it to blow up your date.
16Your mums so fat not even Dora could explore her
17I'd like to help you out. Which way did you come in?
18Do you still love nature, despite what it did to you?
19Yo mama so stupid she still can't figure out how to tie her shoes
20I believe in respect for the dead; in fact, I could only respect you if you WERE dead.
21Your so fat that the equator is 20000m times shorter than your belt
22It was an accident officer. I was cleaning my fingernails, with a hunting knife, and he ran into me, backwards, 17 times.
23I'll never forget the first time we met - although I'll keep trying.
24Ahhh!!! Run a bear, oh wait that's just your mom
25Hey, I just met you, girl you look crazy, what's brand's your makeup, crayola, maybe?
26Yo mama so poor she had to get her clothes from a dumpster
27“My husband and I divorced over religious differences.”He thought he was GOD and I didn't.
28Your so lazy that you ask someone to come to your house to change the tv channel
30Yo mama so stupid she ate cereal with a knife
31Your so weak that you can't rip a piece of paper
32I fart to make you smell better.
33I thought of you all day today. I was at the zoo.
34People who are stupid, are one of you
35Am I getting smart with you? ....How would you know?
36I hear the only place you're ever invited is outside.
37You look like Justin Bieber
38Why on earth are you here?! School doesn't allow litter!
39Your so weak that you can't hold a grain of salt
40If ugliness were bricks then you would be the Great Wall of China
41If I wanted a bitch I would have bought a dog.
42If I want your opinion, I'll give it to you.
43Get yourself another face, my dog wants her ass back
44Everybody makes mistakes, even God did when he made your face
45Shut up, you'll never be the man your mother is
46Yo mama so dumb she got knocked down by a parked car
47Your mama's so fat that when she told me her weight I thought it was her telephone number
48Hey I just met you, and this is crazy but are you sure you were a cute baby?
49You look like a before picture.
50You're so dumb that when you got locked in a toilet for the night you pissed yourself.
51Yo mama so fat when she jumped the earth dropped
52You so dumb that you won the lottery and ripped the ticket
53Shock me say something intelligent
54I think you need a licence to be that ugly
55Your mum's so ugly that when she applied for a job at Tescos they said "sorry, due to our recent 'slip-up' no horses allowed"
56If I were to slap you, it would be considered animal abuse
57Your momma is like a door knob, everybody gets a turn
58From the moment I laid my eyes on you I knew that I wanted to spend the rest of my life avoiding you
59OMG there's something hideous and disgusting on your shoulders! Oh, sorry, it's your head.
60Your birth certificate is an apology letter from a condom factory
61How are thou? Thou globby bottle of cheap stinking chip-oil?
62Yo mama so stupid she tried to put M&M's in alphabetical order
63You're so fat that when you sat on Walmart you lowered the prices
64You are living proof that humans can live without brains
65Did you hurt yourself when you fell out of heaven? It looks like you fell on your face.
66You're so fake even China rejected you
67You mama so hairy she went to the prom with big foot.
68You're so ugly when you got out the taxi, the taxi driver got a fine for littering
69When you were born, the doctors said oh it's treasure... your mum said to bury it
70You have such a horrendous face I think Jesus kicked you out of heaven
71Your family tree is a cactus because everyone on it is a prick.
72If I was as ugly as you I wouldn't say hi to folk, I'd say boo
73I would love to see things from your point of view, but I can't stick my head that far up my ass.
74Your grandma is like a library, she's open to the public
75Your mama's so fat that when she checked her weight it read one person at a time
76Your mum is so hairy that Bigfoot took her pic
77yo mama so ugly she gave Freddy Krueger nightmares
78Yo mama has more chins than the Chinese phone book.
79There's something gross on your neck, it's so freaky and disgusting... oh wait that's your face
80You're so ugly Hello Kitty said goodbye to you
81You're So Cheesy, Papa John's Paid Millions for You
82Yo mama is so fat, when she goes to the movies she sits next to everybody
83Yo mama like Chinese food, sweet, sour and cheap
84If I wanted a brain transplant I'd take yours because I want one that's never been used before
85I just took a dump, I think I found your perfect lover, in the toilet bowl.
86She wouldn't lick a stamp for you if you were dying of thirst
87You are so fat that you make a hippo look skinny
88It's not my fault that when you went to the ape habitat, the monkeys said "sorry we don't need any more ugly monkeys"
89What's it like going to a rodeo and seeing bulls sexier then you and able to keep a guy longer then you? At least you're not the only one getting paid for a 7 second ride.
90Your mama's so ugly, this much explains why Justin Bieber threw up on stage.
91Your mom is so hairy that when you were born you got carpet burn.
92Why are you here? Did someone leave your cage open?
93You're so poor that when you go to KFC you have to lick other people's fingers
94Man Move You Are Blocking the Frequensy
95Your mum's so stupid she sold her car for petrol money
96Your mum's so stupid she sat on the telly and watched the sofa
97You're so stupid you got locked in ASDA and died of starvation
98You look so much like a zombie when I first saw you I got food and a shotgun
99If you got murdered, I would write your parents a congrats card and your killer a thank you card
100I'm not a chicken, you're a turkey
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This list was created 4 years, 199 days ago and has been voted on over 2,000 times. This top ten list contains 193 items, has been remixed 8 times.
Updated Sunday, January 25, 2015
Updated Sunday, January 25, 2015
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