Top 10 Funniest Insults
CelestiusDon't agree with the list? Vote for an existing item you think should be ranked higher or if you are a logged in, add a new item for others to vote on or create your own version of this list.
The Top Ten
1You're so poor I saw you kicking a can across the street I asked you what you were doing you said moving.
2Roses are red violets are blue, God made me pretty, what happened to you?
3The only way you'll ever get laid is if you crawl up a chicken's ass and wait.
4You married Barney
5Yo mama so ugly when she looked in the mirror her reflection walked away
6Your dad's condom is a bigger than your personality
7We can always tell when you are lying. Your lips move.
9Hey, I looked up a hobo in the dictionary and the definition was you
10You Have Enough Fat to Make Another Human
Get CodeAdd This List to Your Site
11You so ugly when who were born the doctor threw you out the window and the window threw you back
12I would ask you how old you are but I know you can't count that high.
13Save your breath...You'll need it to blow up your date.
14Your mums so fat not even Dora could explore her
15Oh my God, look at you. Anyone else hurt in the accident
16Yo mama so stupid she still can't figure out how to tie her shoes
17Do you still love nature, despite what it did to you?
18It was an accident officer. I was cleaning my fingernails, with a hunting knife, and he ran into me, backwards, 17 times.
19Your so fat that the equator is 20000m times shorter than your belt
20I'm busy now. Can I ignore you some other time?
21I'll never forget the first time we met - although I'll keep trying.
22Yo mama so poor she had to get her clothes from a dumpster
23“My husband and I divorced over religious differences.”He thought he was GOD and I didn't.
24Ahhh!!! Run a bear, oh wait that's just your mom
25Your so lazy that you ask someone to come to your house to change the tv channel
27Hey, I just met you, girl you look crazy, what's brand's your makeup, crayola, maybe?
28Yo mama so stupid she ate cereal with a knife
29I'd like to help you out. Which way did you come in?
30Your so weak that you can't rip a piece of paper
31I believe in respect for the dead; in fact, I could only respect you if you WERE dead.
32I thought of you all day today. I was at the zoo.
33People who are stupid, are one of you
34Am I getting smart with you? ....How would you know?
35I hear the only place you're ever invited is outside.
36Your so weak that you can't hold a grain of salt
37I fart to make you smell better.
38You look like Justin Bieber
39Why on earth are you here?! School doesn't allow litter!
40If I want your opinion, I'll give it to you.
41If ugliness were bricks then you would be the Great Wall of China
42If I wanted a bitch I would have bought a dog.
43Everybody makes mistakes, even God did when he made your face
44Yo mama so fat when she jumped the earth dropped
45Yo mama so dumb she got knocked down by a parked car
46You so dumb that you won the lottery and ripped the ticket
47Hey I just met you, and this is crazy but are you sure you were a cute baby?
48You look like a before picture.
49You're so dumb that when you got locked in a toilet for the night you pissed yourself.
50Shock me say something intelligent
51Your mama's so fat that when she told me her weight I thought it was her telephone number
52Shut up, you'll never be the man your mother is
53Get yourself another face, my dog wants her ass back
54I think you need a licence to be that ugly
55Your mum's so ugly that when she applied for a job at Tescos they said "sorry, due to our recent 'slip-up' no horses allowed"
56If I were to slap you, it would be considered animal abuse
57How are thou? Thou globby bottle of cheap stinking chip-oil?
58Yo mama so stupid she tried to put M&M's in alphabetical order
59You're so fat that when you sat on Walmart you lowered the prices
60You are living proof that humans can live without brains
61Did you hurt yourself when you fell out of heaven? It looks like you fell on your face.
62You're so fake even China rejected you
63OMG there's something hideous and disgusting on your shoulders! Oh, sorry, it's your head.
64Your birth certificate is an apology letter from a condom factory
65You mama so hairy she went to the prom with big foot.
66Your momma is like a door knob, everybody gets a turn
67From the moment I laid my eyes on you I knew that I wanted to spend the rest of my life avoiding you
68You're so ugly when you got out the taxi, the taxi driver got a fine for littering
69When you were born, the doctors said oh it's treasure... your mum said to bury it
70You have such a horrendous face I think Jesus kicked you out of heaven
71Your family tree is a cactus because everyone on it is a prick.
72If I was as ugly as you I wouldn't say hi to folk, I'd say boo
73I would love to see things from your point of view, but I can't stick my head that far up my ass.
74Your grandma is like a library, she's open to the public
75Your mama's so fat that when she checked her weight it read one person at a time
76Your mum is so hairy that Bigfoot took her pic
77yo mama so ugly she gave Freddy Krueger nightmares
78Yo mama has more chins than the Chinese phone book.
79You're so ugly Hello Kitty said goodbye to you
80You're So Cheesy, Papa John's Paid Millions for You
81Yo mama is so fat, when she goes to the movies she sits next to everybody
82There's something gross on your neck, it's so freaky and disgusting... oh wait that's your face
83If I wanted a brain transplant I'd take yours because I want one that's never been used before
84I just took a dump, I think I found your perfect lover, in the toilet bowl.
85She wouldn't lick a stamp for you if you were dying of thirst
86You are so fat that you make a hippo look skinny
87Yo mama like Chinese food, sweet, sour and cheap
88It's not my fault that when you went to the ape habitat, the monkeys said "sorry we don't need any more ugly monkeys"
89What's it like going to a rodeo and seeing bulls sexier then you and able to keep a guy longer then you? At least you're not the only one getting paid for a 7 second ride.
90Your mama's so ugly, this much explains why Justin Bieber threw up on stage.
91Your mom is so hairy that when you were born you got carpet burn.
92Why are you here? Did someone leave your cage open?
93You're so poor that when you go to KFC you have to lick other people's fingers
94Man Move You Are Blocking the Frequensy
95Your mum's so stupid she sold her car for petrol money
96Your mum's so stupid she sat on the telly and watched the sofa
97You're so stupid you got locked in ASDA and died of starvation
98You look so much like a zombie when I first saw you I got food and a shotgun
99I'm not a chicken, you're a turkey
100Your mama's so poor she keeps her food stamps in a money clip
Comments About This List
- [New]Best Features of iOS 8
- Top Ten Ways to Get In Shape
- Best Xbox One Games
- Best Cell Phone Services
- Best Credit Repair Companies
- Best Home Workout Programs
- Best Mountain Bike Brands
- Best Web Hosting Companies
Top Remixes of This List
Posts About This List
This list was created 4 years, 104 days ago and has been voted on over 1,000 times. This top ten list contains 173 items, has been remixed 7 times.
Updated Wednesday, October 22, 2014
Updated Wednesday, October 22, 2014
List Error Reporting
See an item on this list that's misspelled, duplicated, or doesn't belong? Let us know. Click here to report the error.