Top Ten Weirdest Times or Places to Masturbate

The Top Ten
1 In Class

Whoever would try to masturbate in class is stupid. You will obviously get caught.

I wonder how long you would get detention?

I think I would get expelled if I did this

What kind of sane person would do that?!

2 During a Funeral

if it's not someone you cared about, then go for it I mean there died, so what are they going to say about it, just don't let anyone see you doing it.

My Christian relatives would be furious

This is a sad death of *insert name*
Everyone: crying out loud*
Someone: (thinking) They can see/hear me masturbate (masturbates)
Everyone: stops and start laughing

And here lies common sense, he was a useless fudge hindering oir knowledge and anyway let us masturbate his grave to see how many Nobel Peace Prize I can get

3 In a Daycare Center

There are a few daycare centers that people run out of their own house. After it closes, this will be perfectly fine.

However, if one or no conditions are met, you will probably receive a ton of fines.

The children would be scarred for life.

What sick human being would do that.

You'll blind the poor children.

4 In Front of Your Parents

Wow, what an appropriate place...

That would be awkward

They'll love it...

Why the F would anybody do that.

5 At the Park

An old dude did that in a town near mine.

He is now in jail.

6 On Britain's Got Talent

For some reason, America's Got Talent can accept that kind of thing.

The scary thing is, it sounds feasible.

Simon: It's a no from me

I’m not from Britain but I can do it on Australia’s Got Talent.

7 During a Play

Unless if you're playing a role where the character has to masterbuate.

Actor 1:I will masturbate at front of my bang bang darling
Actor 2:Fudge I'm skrewed
Actor 1:*Masturbates and head explodes*

8 In a Police Car

Remind me to try that one when I get arrested

Good idea! Let me try that next time!

I wonder what the cop(s) would do...

9 At the Movie Theater

It's actually common to find wet seats in certain theaters. The back of some seats can also we wet...

I don't masturbate, but it would only be reasonable if the movie was Shrek.

Unless it's a porn movie, lol

When during a sex scene, be free to moan all you want for the most chances to m0an out load during the movie I recommend 50 shades of grey

10 In the Car

The Uber driver is Jessica alba and she really turns me on *orgasms*

why if you can have sex in a car then you can masturbate in one to

The Contenders
11 At a Wedding

My crazy religious relatives would kill me

Guy: you may kiss the bride
Groom: *kisses bride*
Me: oh fk yea *beats meat*
Groom: whachu doing fam?!

12 In an Airplane

The only place you'll have any privacy is where you're most likely to be sucked out.

That’s unsanitary

13 During a Skype Chat
14 In a Store
15 In Front of Your Sibling

This could end in 2 ways

Me: *masturbates*
Brother: ew gross
Me: what it’s fine
Brother: disgusting

OR (the worst case)

Me: *masturbates*
Brother: I’m telling
Me: *dies*

16 In Church

Be ready to get in trouble.

17 In a Swimming Pool

as long as no one see you I think it ok

18 In a Job Interview

Same thang as class. I don't know because I haven't finished school yet. I'm in 9th Grade.

You won't get the job, unless it's as a porn star.

I think you'd get fired. Not sure.

The boss turns you on amirite fam?

19 On Doctor Phil

I'm sure he wont have anything to say about that

Dr phil then watches you finish

20 On the Hockey Rink
21 While Getting a Haircut
22 On a Date

I've been on a lot of dates. I tried masturbating once with someone and she dumped me. don't DO IT!

23 On a Tightrope

Guys gimme a dec, I gotta sit down *starts masturbating* - AlphaQ

24 When on a Computer at Your House Watching Sex Videos

This is obvious that people mostly do this while watching porn.

I'm pretty sure that's what everyone does

I do that though

It’s normal to do that.

25 In the Bathroom at School

People in my school have done this. A lot.

My boyfriend does this..

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