Top Ten Weirdest Times or Places to Masturbate
The Top Ten
Whoever would try to masturbate in class is stupid. You will obviously get caught.
I wonder how long you would get detention?
What kind of sane person would do that?!
They have kids there. They'll see it!
My Christian relatives would be furious
And here lies common sense, he was a useless fudge hindering oir knowledge and anyway let us masturbate his grave to see how many Nobel Peace Prize I can get - CerealGuy
Nasty. - Powerfulgirl10
This is a sad death of *insert name*
Everyone: crying out loud*
Someone: (thinking) They can see/hear me masturbate (masturbates)
Everyone: stops and start laughing
An old dude did that in a town near mine.
He is now in jail.
Hey honey. What did you do in school to- WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!
Wow, what an appropriate place... - Turkeyasylum
They'll love it...
That would be awkward
Don't bang the children... - Turkeyasylum
The children would be scarred for life. - Powerfulgirl10
How bout dancing naked on the tables. That's a lot worse and I haven't done yet - AlphaQ
What sick human being would do that. - egnomac
You'll blind the poor children. - Catacorn
Simon: It's a no from me - Catacorn
For some reason, America's Got Talent can accept that kind of thing. - MaxAurelius
The scary thing is, it sounds feasible. - PositronWildhawk
WHY WOULD YOU DO THIS?! Simon Cowell will NEVER let you move on to the next round. You'll be forever named: the Maniac Masturbating Magician from BGT. Sorry, but it's true. -girlsgotgame
Remind me to try that one when I get arrested
Good idea! Let me try that next time!
I wonder what the cop(s) would do... - RogerMcBaloney
Unless if you're playing a role where the character has to masterbuate.
Actor 1:I will masturbate at front of my bang bang darling
Actor 2:Fudge I'm skrewed
Actor 1:*Masturbates and head explodes* - CerealGuy
I don't masturbate, but it would only be reasonable if the movie was Shrek.
It's actually common to find wet seats in certain theaters. The back of some seats can also we wet...
When during a sex scene, be free to moan all you want for the most chances to m0an out load during the movie I recommend 50 shades of grey
Unless it's a porn movie, lol
The Uber driver is Jessica alba and she really turns me on *orgasms* - AlphaQ
The only place you'll have any privacy is where you're most likely to be sucked out. - PositronWildhawk
That’s unsanitary - Nic427
Heck no! - Nic427
My crazy religious relatives would kill me - Nic427
Guy: you may kiss the bride
Groom: *kisses bride*
Me: oh fk yea *beats meat*
Groom: whachu doing fam?! - AlphaQ
I've been on a lot of dates. I tried masturbating once with someone and she dumped me. don't DO IT! - AlphaQ
Same thang as class. I don't know because I haven't finished school yet. I'm in 9th Grade. - AlphaQ
I think you'd get fired. Not sure. - Powerfulgirl10
The boss turns you on amirite fam? - AlphaQ
People in my school have done this. A lot. - AlphaQ
My boyfriend does this.. - silverdragon
It would ease my phobia of roller coasters, but I still wouldn’t do it - Nic427
Be sure to reach your orgasm right before a drop ladys you can scream from the pleasure there
This is obvious that people mostly do this while watching porn. - ElSherlock
I'm pretty sure that's what everyone does
Being home alone is the best experience ever. - Not_A_Weeaboo
I do that though
This could end in 2 ways
Brother: ew gross
Me: what it’s fine
OR (the worst case)
Brother: I’m telling
Me: *dies* - AlphaQ
Yup. This is an popular old favorite.
The bears turn you on, huh? - AlphaQ
Nature, a beautiful place filled with a variety of flora and fauna…and a great place to masturbate. - AlphaQ