Top Ten Weirdest Times/Places to Masturbate

The Top Ten

1 In Class

When I was in highschool, some guy during art class took out his dick and started doing stuff with it for like 5 seconds before he put it back in. - RogerMcBaloney

Whoever would try to masturbate in class is stupid. You will obviously get caught. - DrayTopTens

I wonder how long you would get detention? - nintendofan126

I don't remember if this is true, but I think I took my penis out in class once underneath my desk in 4th grade. No one saw though. - Therandom

2 During A Funeral

And here lies common sense, he was a useless fudge hindering oir knowledge and anyway let us masturbate his grave to see how many Nobel Peace Prize I can get - CerealGuy

Nasty. - Powerfulgirl10

This is a sad death of *insert name*
Everyone: crying out loud*
Someone: (thinking) They can see/hear me masturbate (masturbates)
Everyone: stops and start laughing - RoseCandyMusic

That’s pretty wrong…as long as it’s not Mia Khalifa’s grave. - AlphaQ

3 In Front of Your Parents

Hey honey. What did you do in school to- WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!

Wow, what an appropriate place... - Turkeyasylum

They'll love it...

Why the F would anybody do that. - egnomac

4 At The Park

Why is this list a thing - SpectralOwl

An old dude did that in a town near mine.





He is now in jail. - RogerMcBaloney

5 In A Daycare Center

Don't bang the children... - Turkeyasylum

The children would be scarred for life. - Powerfulgirl10

How bout dancing naked on the tables. That's a lot worse and I haven't done yet - AlphaQ

What sick human being would do that. - egnomac

You'll blind the poor children. - Catacorn

6 On Britain's Got Talent

Simon: It's a no from me - Catacorn

For some reason, America's Got Talent can accept that kind of thing. - MaxAurelius

The scary thing is, it sounds feasible. - PositronWildhawk

WHY WOULD YOU DO THIS?! Simon Cowell will NEVER let you move on to the next round. You'll be forever named: the Maniac Masturbating Magician from BGT. Sorry, but it's true. -girlsgotgame

7 In The Car

The Uber driver is Jessica alba and she really turns me on *orgasms* - AlphaQ

8 In a Police Car

Remind me to try that one when I get arrested

Good idea! Let me try that next time!

I wonder what the cop(s) would do... - RogerMcBaloney

9 During A Play

Unless if you're playing a role where the character has to masterbuate.

Actor 1:I will masturbate at front of my bang bang darling
Actor 2:Fudge I'm skrewed
Actor 1:*Masturbates and head explodes* - CerealGuy

10 At the Movie Theater

It's actually common to find wet seats in certain theaters. The back of some seats can also we wet... - RogerMcBaloney

When during a sex scene, be free to moan all you want for the most chances to m0an out load during the movie I recommend 50 shades of grey

Unless it's a porn movie, lol - Neonco31

The Contenders

11 In An Airplane

The only place you'll have any privacy is where you're most likely to be sucked out. - PositronWildhawk

12 In a Store
13 During a Skype Chat
14 On The Hockey Rink
15 While Getting a Haircut
16 In a Swimming Pool
17 At a Wedding

Guy: you may kiss the bride
Groom: *kisses bride*
Me: oh fk yea *beats meat*
Groom: whachu doing fam?! - AlphaQ

18 In the Bathroom at School

People in my school have done this. A lot. - AlphaQ

My boyfriend does this.. - silverdragon

19 On a Date

I've been on a lot of dates. I tried masturbating once with someone and she dumped me. don't DO IT! - AlphaQ

20 In a Job Interview

Same thang as class. I don't know because I haven't finished school yet. I'm in 9th Grade. - AlphaQ

I think you'd get fired. Not sure. - Powerfulgirl10

The boss turns you on amirite fam? - AlphaQ

21 On a Roller Coaster

Be sure to reach your orgasm right before a drop ladys you can scream from the pleasure there

Nice

22 In Front of the Child You Need to Babysit

Yup. This is an popular old favorite.

23 When on a Computer at Your House Watching Sex Videos

I'm pretty sure that's what everyone does

Being home alone is the best experience ever. - Not_A_Weeaboo

I do that though

It’s normal to do that. - AlphaQ

24 On the Roof

Done it ONCE. Bleh it’s not much but you don’t want the seagulls to see your You-know-What. - AlphaQ

25 In the Woods

The bears turn you on, huh? - AlphaQ

Nature, a beautiful place filled with a variety of flora and fauna…and a great place to masturbate. - AlphaQ

26 While Watching TV

"Oh yeah...you're purple tail and curvy teeth really turn me on, OOH YEAH" - TwilightKitsune

Let’s pray that Barney won’t eat me… - AlphaQ

27 In Church
28 While Eating at a Restaurant
29 When Playing a Game

When the grind starts x)

30 In Front of Your Sibling

This could end in 2 ways

Me: *masturbates*
Brother: ew gross
Me: what it’s fine
Brother: disgusting

OR (the worst case)

Me: *masturbates*
Brother: I’m telling
Me: *dies* - AlphaQ

31 In Front of Your Kids

I don't have kids and don't want any. I don't have kids because I'm ONLY 15. - AlphaQ

Yeahhh... I'm pretty sure there's some legal issues there

Kid: Oh, daddy? What are you doing?

I'm pretty sure they'd also be scarred for life. - Powerfulgirl10

Kid: Daddy? What are you doing?
Me: Oh-uhh…guy stuff… - AlphaQ

32 On the Toilet
33 While Running
34 On a Tightrope

Guys gimme a dec, I gotta sit down *starts masturbating* - AlphaQ

35 On Broadway
36 In Jail
37 On Doctor Phil

I'm sure he wont have anything to say about that

Dr phil then watches you finish

38 In a Camera Warehouse

If you do this you are here by declared a full fledged retard

39 In Antarctica
40 On Saturday Night Live
41 At Comic-Con
42 On Zebra Crossing
43 Shopping Mall
44 Next to Girlfriend
45 In a Children's Hospital
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