Top Ten Weirdest Times/Places to Masturbate

The Top Ten

1 In Class

I wonder how long you would get detention? - nintendofan126

I don't remember if this is true, but I think I took my penis out in class once underneath my desk in 4th grade. No one saw though. - Therandom

It's not that bad...I tried masturbating in class once but my pants ripped before I could grab my penis. - AlphaQ

I put my hand in my pants during class, 1 of my classmates noticed but I told him that my pants were itchy. - AlphaQ

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2 During A Funeral

And here lies common sense, he was a useless fudge hindering oir knowledge and anyway let us masturbate his grave to see how many Nobel Peace Prize I can get - CerealGuy

Nasty. - Powerfulgirl10

This is a sad death of *insert name*
Everyone: crying out loud*
Someone: (thinking) They can see/hear me masturbate (masturbates)
Everyone: stops and start laughing - RoseCandyMusic

That’s pretty wrong…as long as it’s not Mia Khalifa’s grave. - AlphaQ

3 In Front Of Your Parents

Wow, what an appropriate place... - Turkeyasylum

Hey honey. What did you do in school to- WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!

They'll love it...

Why the F would anybody do that. - egnomac

4 At The Park

Why is this list a thing - SpectralOwl

5 In A Daycare Center

Don't bang the children... - Turkeyasylum

The children would be scarred for life. - Powerfulgirl10

How bout dancing naked on the tables. That's a lot worse and I haven't done yet - AlphaQ

You'll blind the poor children. - Catacorn

What sick human being would do that. - egnomac

6 On Britain's Got Talent

Simon: It's a no from me - Catacorn

For some reason, America's Got Talent can accept that kind of thing. - MaxAurelius

The scary thing is, it sounds feasible. - PositronWildhawk

I’m not from Britain but I can do it on Australia’s Got Talent. - AlphaQ

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7 During A Play

Unless if you're playing a role where the character has to masterbuate.

Actor 1:I will masturbate at front of my bang bang darling
Actor 2:Fudge I'm skrewed
Actor 1:*Masturbates and head explodes* - CerealGuy

8 In The Car

The Uber driver is Jessica alba and she really turns me on *orgasms* - AlphaQ

9 In An Airplane

The only place you'll have any privacy is where you're most likely to be sucked out. - PositronWildhawk

10 During a Skype Chat

The Contenders

11 At a Wedding

Guy: you may kiss the bride
Groom: *kisses bride*
Me: oh fk yea *beats meat*
Groom: whachu doing fam?! - AlphaQ

12 On The Hockey Rink
13 On a Date

I've been on a lot of dates. I tried masturbating once with someone and she dumped me. don't DO IT! - AlphaQ

14 In a Swimming Pool
15 In a Job Interview

Same thang as class. I don't know because I haven't finished school yet. I'm in 9th Grade. - AlphaQ

I think you'd get fired. Not sure. - Powerfulgirl10

The boss turns you on amirite fam? - AlphaQ

16 While getting a haircut
17 In the Bathroom at School

People in my school have done this. A lot. - AlphaQ

18 On a Roller Coaster

Be sure to reach your orgasm right before a drop ladys you can scream from the pleasure there

19 On the Roof

Done it ONCE. Bleh it’s not much but you don’t want the seagulls to see your You-know-What. - AlphaQ

20 While eating at a restaurant
21 When playing a game

When the grind starts x)

22 When on a computer at your house watching sex Videos

I'm pretty sure that's what everyone does

It’s normal to do that. - AlphaQ

Doesn’t everybody do that? - AlphaQ

23 In Front of Your Sibling

This could end in 2 ways

Me: *masturbates*
Brother: ew gross
Me: what it’s fine
Brother: disgusting

OR (the worst case)

Me: *masturbates*
Brother: I’m telling
Me: *dies* - AlphaQ

24 At the Movie Theater

When during a sex scene, be free to moan all you want for the most chances to m0an out load during the movie I recommend 50 shades of grey

Unless it's a porn movie, lol - Neonco31

25 In Front of Your Kids

I don't have kids and don't want any. I don't have kids because I'm ONLY 15. - AlphaQ

Yeahhh... I'm pretty sure there's some legal issues there

Kid: Oh, daddy? What are you doing?

I'm pretty sure they'd also be scarred for life. - Powerfulgirl10

Kid: Daddy? What are you doing?
Me: Oh-uhh…guy stuff… - AlphaQ

26 On the toilet
27 While running
28 In the Woods

The bears turn you on, huh? - AlphaQ

Nature, a beautiful place filled with a variety of flora and fauna…and a great place to masturbate. - AlphaQ

29 While Watching Barney the Dinosaur

"Oh yeah...you're purple tail and curvy teeth really turn me on, OOH YEAH" - TwilightKitsune

Let’s pray that Barney won’t eat me… - AlphaQ

30 On Doctor Phil

I'm sure he wont have anything to say about that

Dr phil then watches you finish

31 In Front of the Child You Need to Babysit
32 In a Camera Warehouse

If you do this you are here by declared a full fledged retard

33 On a Tightrope

Guys gimme a dec, I gotta sit down *starts masturbating* - AlphaQ

34 In Antarctica
35 On Saturday Night Live
36 Sanuk’s

Weird

37 At Comic-Con
38 In a Police Car
39 On Zebra Crossing
40 On Broadway
41 In Jail
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