Top 10 Ways to Declare Superiority Over Your Younger Sibling
As an older sibling, I have to compete for things a lot. But as the older one, I am often the wiser and the one who uses my analytical and astute mind to say, "The game is up!" Hence, the existence of this list.
If you are the youngest of your siblings, don't take this personally. Be glad of who you are and tackle life as you see fit.
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Graduate and know how to do it before they do
The knowledge you gain from this can be used to your great advantage, but I guess the age gap has to be significant enough.
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Be able to cook your own food and wash your own clothes before they can
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Do something useful with your time while they waste it
I have a resolution: if someone needs help, I'll try to assist if I can. The good thing about this is that I can be superior to both my siblings and my class, in a way.
Unlikely Scenario:
Old Lady That I Know: I can't hold this box for much longer!
Me: I'll help!
--Helps her to her house--
Old Lady: Thank you!
Baby Sis: I love playing!
Me: Well, I helped somebody, so I'M SUPERIOR!
--Helps one person each day--
When winter break is over:
Teacher: OK, class, what did you do?
Girls That I Hate: We played with our pets and watched TV!
Showoff: I played baseball!
Crush: I got a new fantasy book series!
Friend: I played some video games!
Me: I helped various people and worked on my book report! Seems like I'm the productive one!
Everyone: Wait, our book reports...
--They make lame excuses--
Me: Reh heh heh.
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Please your parents better than they do
At some point in your lives, if you carry this one out now, you may get a sports car from your parents come Christmas, and they will receive a suspiciously sealed packet.
According to my parents, I am the perfect daughter, an angel, a lady. They wish my brother would follow in his big sister's footsteps. Haha.
This one is the best method, man! And hey, taping your siblings to the bed isn't so kind!
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Tape them to the bed while they sleep
Be it on your head, bud. It's one way to do it, but if you wake them, you're in a pickle.
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Play tricks that you know they'll fall for
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Establish your greater range of knowledge
It's comforting to know that my brother has no idea what a Bose-Einstein condensate is. When he asks me if I know the difference between rugby union and rugby league, I simply say that I don't really have to.
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Use your more useful knowledge to beneficial effect
See, bro, use your time more productively.
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Give them sarcastic advice
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Let them fend for themselves in times of need
Sounds cruel, but it may benefit them.
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Say "You sure about that?" whenever they try to do anything
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Become better at everything possible
My younger brother always wants me to play video games with him. When I do, I am instantly better at it than he is. Suddenly, he doesn't want to play that game anymore.
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Be an actual role model
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Do what you enjoy in the hope that they'll be forced into doing it
My older brother tried to force me into wrestling. If I had a younger brother, I'd make him join the band.
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Beat them at every competition you can both be in