Top Ten Responses for When People Ask Why You Don't Have ChildrenSeemingly more so than ever, married couples are making the choice not to have children for a variety of reasons. If you are among this group, you know how hard it can be for others to wrap their heads around someone not wanting to receive the greatest gift the world has to offer. No doubt, you have been asked by members of the older generation, giddy new parents, and kids who assume "baby in the baby carriage" is the only conceivable next step to marriage why there is no pitter patter of little feet in your home.
Most people will let you get by with a simple we've decided not to response, but if you're asked in a particularly accusatory manner or are just feeling like mixing it up, here are some other responses you can give when someone asks why you don't have children.
That's from the 'Harold & Kumar: Escape from Guantanamo Bay'-school of parenting.
Seriously? This is hilarious!
This should be ranked a lot higher than the one about having a ginger child because natural redheads are usually the sexiest people alive.
Well, Sharon was homeschooled and I went to a school where they taught abstinence only. We've been sending letters to storks and even asked the Santa at the mall, but no luck so far.
This entry should be ranked way higher than the one about having a ginger child because I would feel more than privileged if my child turned out to be a ginger, especially when taking into consideration that most natural redheads are the most attractive human beings I've ever seen in my life. But if my child turned out to be a special snowflake, I'm locking them at the top of the Notre Dame bell tower.
Leaving the "Like your kids are" unsaid!
These are great, oh wow.
The accusatory tone people tend to take when asking why you don't have kids can make you feel uncomfortable. This way you can return the favor and then some.
We named him Stewart, after Marie's late grandfather.
Let the gossip girls have a ball circulating that juicy rumor.
I'm dying of laughter of how funny that is but that's also VERY dark!
The ribs were especially tender.
Who do you think you are, Cronos?
Can't argue with that.
Maybe when all of your Facebook posts no longer talk about the awful thing your kids did or how hard it is being a parent before ending with something like "but I wouldn't trade it for the world" or "but I love them more than anything." Which one of us are you trying to convince?
That's what I'm talking about. Live your life a little, then have kids in your later years.
Like, really it does! How is this not top ten?