Top Ten Jokes About Northern Britain

The Top Ten

1 A Yorkshire couple were making love. One says "Naw worries, darlin', ah've got no young 'uns wi' t'urex."

2 A friend of mine had to work particularly hard for his linguistics degree from Durham. No wonder it's ranked so high; I can barely understand the locals.

3 I once worked for an electronics firm with a northern team. I fused some chips in, connected several layers of them together, and added parallel plates. The rest of them made the gravy.

4 Two Yorkshiremen were in a kitchen playing I Spy. One mentioned something beginning with T. "Teapot?" "Nay." "Tea towel?" "Nay." "Tea bag?" "Nothin' t'do wi' tea." "What is it, then?" "T'cupboard."

Haha this really is funny - and just so typical!
Pos, I think the North/south divide has just widened! Haha! Excellent list!

5 How many northerners does it take to change a toilet roll? Several, to build a new county toilet.

6 Northern physicists are very crude. They measure power in "t'Watts".

7 I was shocked at how many people in Newcastle would constantly get up the dancers.

8 I was having my lunch on the day before my birthday. My friend from Yorkshire came up to me and said "Are you 18 tomorrow?" I said, "Of course, I'm not going hungry."

9 As soon as "t'ahPhone" was announced in Northern Britain, millions bought them for whale hunting.

10 What do you call an angry Briton? Downtown Crabby

Came up with this myself

The Contenders

11 The kennel club is reporting record business in the north. The happy news just makes Yorkshire Terrier.

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