Top Ten Responses for When People Ask Why You Don't Have Childrencovenste Seemingly more so than ever, married couples are making the choice not to have children for a variety of reasons. If you are among this group, you know how hard it can be for others to wrap their heads around someone not wanting to receive the greatest gift the world has to offer. No doubt, you have been asked by members of the older generation, giddy new parents, and kids who assume "baby in the baby carriage" is the only conceivable next step to marriage why there is no pitter patter of little feet in your home.
Most people will let you get by with a simple we've decided not to response, but if you're asked in a particularly accusatory manner or are just feeling like mixing it up, here are some other responses you can give when someone asks why you don't have children.
The Top Ten
That's from the 'Harold & Kumar: Escape from Guantanamo Bay'-school of parenting. - BKAllmighty
Good point. - Mrveteran
And just what exactly is wrong with red heads? Nothing. That's right.
SHD would be triggered. - Therandom
Well,... Sharon was homeschooled and I went to a school where they taught abstinence only. We've been sending letters to storks and even asked the Santa at the mall, but no luck so far. - covenste
They make her sick as all get out, but... ah-ha, that means two things. - covenste
Leaving the "Like your kids are" unsaid!
These are great, oh wow
We named him Stewart, after Marie's late grandfather. - covenste
The accusatory tone people tend to take when people ask why you don't have kids can make you feel uncomfortable. This way you can return the favor and then some. - covenste
Who do you think you are, Cronos?
The ribs were especially tender. - FluffyBanana
This is what I'll say someday LOL.
Or a fanfiction writer, or a serial killer, or a bully.
The thought of me raising a feminist scares me... LOL - ryanrimmel
Let the gossip girls have a ball circulating that juicy rumor. - covenste
THIS IS THE ONE - TwilightKitsune
LOL, this is absolutely BRILLIANT - TwilightKitsune
Can't argue with that - TwilightKitsune
Yeah, why not be honest lol? - TwilightKitsune
Maybe when all of your Facebook posts no longer talk about the awful thing your kids did or how hard it is being a parent before ending with something like "but I wouldn't trade it for the world" or "but I love them more than anything". Which one of us are you trying to convince? - covenste
That's what I'm talking about.
Live your life a little, then have kids in
Your later years.
This really pisses them off
Like, really it does! How is this not top ten?
O_O Go the doctor then...
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List StatsCreated 17 Oct 2016
Updated 30 Nov 2019
3 years, 49 days old
2. We tried, but we conceived doggy style and ended up with a puppy.
3. Actually, we have two, but they are so hideous we don't let them out of the basement.
2. My in-laws have red heads in their family tree and I couldn't bear the shame of having a ginger child.
3. [Spouse's name] is already a raging alcoholic so we don't need another person in the house babbling incoherently, soiling themselves, and crying for no reason.