Funny and Sarcastic Things the British Always Say in Conversation

This is basically what the British mean when we say certain things we don't actually mean.

If you are not British, but you speak from experience with these sarcastic quotes, say so in the comments.

Enjoy, of course.

The Top Ten

1 Really interesting; go on...

The British tend to imply with this quote that what the other person is saying is complete poppycock. Which people rarely buy these days. Even some other Brits.

Everyone thinks we're ACTUALLY interested. Nope, we're just friggen polite, and incredibly sarcastic but no one realizes.

"Oh my gosh, mon ami! I'm so frigging interested! " A bit more apt, eh?

Make any assumptions you like. It's classic sarcasm.

2 With all due respect...

Putting the sarcasm aside, we often mean "I think you're an imbecile" or "I think you're crazy".

I've used this myself a few times. It works. Quite well.

With all due respect, I think you're bonkers!

With all due respect @@@@ you!

3 Not bad...

We actually often mean it. Don't all assume we're trying to avoid a put-down. Sometimes we are, but not always. It's all down to the context.

Sometimes we mean : terrible. Worst idea I've ever bloody heard. But it can actually mean not bad either

4 May I suggest this...

Typical Brits rarely take no for an answer with this one. And it's often with an approach with sheer wisdom. And trying to get you to follow their intentions to the letter.

It basically means that we think YOUR suggestion is crap and OURS would much better. But, being British, we do it in a genle subtle way... We don't want to hurt your feelings after all...

5 That's brave of you...

Just means your extremely and un humanly stupid.

It can only mean one thing. Three words and four syllables. YOU. ARE. CRAZY.

6 It's my fault, really...

Translation: it's your fault entirely, but I don't want to hurt your feelings

Translates as "No. It was so your fault, you sodding idiot." People often think "how come?" and can't see that we're obviously being sarcastic.

7 With you all the way...

People in the UK who use this phrase are trying desperately to change the hideously boring topic of conversation. It's a line you shouldn't cross when you see it.

8 Come over sometime...

It's politeness. Unless they fancy you, it's politeness. Which may be awkward later on. You never know.

9 Let's take that on board...

Anyone in Britain who says this ignores whatever was brought up, never to speak of it again.

Not even sure what this means.

10 I consider myself disappointed...

This is when that person is so annoyed that they could snap at any moment. If you hear these words, remember your karate. You might need it if you say something even of minor irritation.

The Contenders

11 I'll bear that in mind...

- What you just told me is utter nonsense and I would never need to know that in life.

12 Bollocks
13 That’s a good idea, but let’s hear everyone’s suggestions before we come to a conclusion.

Translates to ‘Your idea is rubbish, can somebody please say something that’s worth my time?’

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