Top Ten Things You Might Say to Describe Your Car, but Shouldn't Say About Your Girlfriend

The Top Ten
1 If she stops working, just grab the hammer and give her another whack.

I totally do this when she's lazing around and not making me a sandwich in the kitchen.

I care more about my car than everything else in the entire universe

Don't ever try to do this neither on your girlfriend nor on your car...

Why would you beat your girl like that?

2 She's about a year old now.

Yup, our anniversary

3 I have to fill her up regularly.

Ugh. And not to mention that she's burning precious fossil fuels as well.

4 There's room for five in her.
5 Selling her for half the price she was!
6 The airbags could stop a charging rhino!

The meat is power

7 She's just been waxed, and she looks sexier than ever!

Just look at her shine!

Looks so shiny!

8 Check out that rear!

It looks really cool, so much steel

9 She's a tad battered and scarred, but she does the job.
10 When I'm holding your wheel, all I hear is your gear.
The Contenders
11 I wish it weren't black

You can say that about the car, but don't say that to your girlfriend.

Mick Jagger might want it black.

12 I've had her for a couple of years now.

..."And now I want to trade her for a younger model."

13 Her tail is full of gas.
14 She's huge!

That's a very mean way to describe your girlfriend like that.

15 With my hand on your grease gun, MMM, it's like a disease, son
16 She grips the surface well, even on tight bends.
17 She's a real piece of crap.

How dare you say that to your girlfriend! Rude.

How dare you say that to your car!

18 Bought her for nearly half a hundred thousand.

I think you can say this for your girlfriend

19 I like everything, except the color.

If you say this, hookers will become useless to you afterwards.

I think I hear the SJWs pounding at your door right now.

20 I let my friend take her for a spin
21 This is my bitch right here.
22 She's the best model yet!
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