Top 10 Cars Douchebags Drive
Ever drive safe and legally, and then all of a sudden you’re being tailgated, sped around, and flipped off all by some poser redneck blaring Kid Rock or wannabe Paul Walker blaring 50 Cent? Well, chances are they were driving one of these.DISCLAIMER: This list is simply tongue in cheek. If you own one of these and drive like a normal human being, good for you. This list isn't about you. Also, let me dismiss the “I own a fast car and I have the RIGHT to go fast!” Claim. No, you don’t. Not on city streets, highways, or country roads. Go to an enclosed track and do that.
Come on, this has to be number one. Even with the likes of faux rednecks in their big pickup trucks and wannabe gangsters speeding excessively in Camaros, one car forever stands atop the mountain of douchebag drivers: the Honda Civic. A long-standing staple of Japanese automobiles since the '70s, the Honda Civic has seen many sporty incarnations, including the CRX and inclusion in Honda's coveted Type R line.
However, under the hood lies both its cause for praise and its downfall to douchebaggery: VTEC. Something exclusive to Honda, VTEC is what gives the Civic, and many front-wheel-drive Hondas, their infamy. This quick build-up to acceleration makes the Honda Civic, and the Honda Integra by extension, formidable and popular choices in street racing. Also, there are the infamous "fart cannon" moments - when you're sleeping at night and you hear one of these things roaring down the street in the distance.
This goes double for the Camaro, with most of them now coming standard with a rear spoiler. Released to compete against the Mustang in the '60s and '70s, the Camaro has also seen a very powerful incarnation released nowadays. Then again, there has always seemed to be a battle between Chevrolet fans and Ford fans, especially in the pickup truck division.
Still, one cannot help but roll their eyes every time one of these drives by. Also, for one more game of road bingo: count how many of these the driver of a Chevy Camaro has - curly hair, slender build, fake Supreme shirt, jean jacket, vapes, Jordan sandals and tube socks, basketball shorts, fake chain, car smells of weed, stands 6' or higher, dumber than a first-grade class pet guinea pig.
Come on, couldn't an entry be any more obvious? The Ford Mustang and the Chevy Camaro are probably the only two cars that a redneck douchebag would own nowadays. A long-running vehicle since the 1960s and 1970s, the most recent incarnation of the Mustang is rather powerful for a pony car.
As a result, it has become popular among street racers and rednecks alike. Particularly among street racers, who are looking to impress all their equally lame friends and crash it into a ditch after shelling out good money for the car.
Honestly, though, it's all Jeeps. Every single model. It doesn't matter which one it is! It could be the Wrangler, the Cherokee, the Liberty, the Compass, or the Renegade. It doesn't matter! Douchebags have long ruined Jeeps. They're cheap, stylish, and decently fast, all while offering 4WD. What redneck wouldn't want one?
It seems that a lot of those who own a Jeep have some kind of body modification on it, but none is worse than the Wrangler. Changing the grills to look "menacing" is the cringiest thing imaginable. Also, thank you for ruining the official way of apologizing in traffic. For those who don't know, the official way to apologize in traffic is to flash a peace sign. Jeep drivers have appropriated this into "the Jeep Salute." Now, instead of being a vital communication tool, it has become a bro fist for tools.
BMW has always kind of had a rich douchebag vibe, but many of the models from the 1990s until the mid-2000s seem to have garnered tuner car reputations. Particularly the 3 series, 1 series, and most of all, the prestigious M series. These once highly-regarded luxury sedans are now being treated like Honda Integras!
Though it is funny to watch the rich douchebag get taken down a peg, it's annoying to see the wannabe gangster douchebag go up three pegs! You can particularly thank Need For Speed: Most Wanted for that. The use of a 2000s BMW M3 GTR as the ultimate car in the game really influenced all the J-Moneys and Lil Broomsticks to be just like Razor Callahan!
Smart is a German automotive marque that specializes in manufacturing compact and subcompact vehicles. Founded in 1994, the brand is now a subsidiary of Daimler AG and operates in collaboration with Mercedes-Benz. Smart focuses on producing eco-friendly, urban-centric cars known for their small footprint... read more And now, for a third party in the car world: douchebags. The holier-than-thou electric car driver, that one preachy hippie who really thinks they're changing the world by driving the equivalent of a road-legal, faster golf cart. However, these things are shockingly safe! Mercedes-Benz, the company that owns Smart (surprised? I was too!), built these little things to take a beating. Still, who wants to get lectured by Karen or Madison for driving "an EVIL gas-guzzler that's literally killing the planet"?
Also, here's a little more road bingo for you. Count how many Smart cars (and Toyota Priuses by extension) have the following mentioned on their bumper stickers: Che Guevara, Resist/anti-Trump/anti-Republican messages, meditation/chakras, a Democratic Party candidate for president, veganism, a peace sign, a rainbow flag, and something about saving the Earth. Karen, your rambling about your Smart car saving the Earth is just as annoying as Tanner revving up his Ford F-250 at 3 a.m. because "'Murica!"
Want to combine the douchey redneck off-roading culture with the douchey wannabe gangster street racing culture? How about a 4WD 4-door? The Subaru WRX became a standalone model in 2014, after being a sportier version of the Impreza since 1992.
Like the Impreza WRX, the Subaru WRX is known for two things: appearances in racing games and being a race winner. The car has garnered a reputation, similar to the Nissan R35, for street racing. However, its 4WD drivetrain also guarantees its use in off-roading. So, be careful on your hike in the woods, kids. You'll never know when Tanner and his wannabe gangster buddy, J-Money (real name Jordan), may decide to race their Subaru WRX and Ford F-250 Super Duty.
You see these things way more than you see the Ram 1500. I swear, though, there is worse redneck douchebaggery with a Ford pickup than with any other! I'm going to go ahead and lump in the entire Ford F-Series family of trucks, which includes the F-150, the F-250, the F-350, etc. You'll always see these trucks plastered with some redneck stickers.
Here's a nice game of road bingo: point out how many of the following you can spot on a Ford F-Series truck: Trump, gun, beer, stripper silhouette, Confederate flag, thin blue/red/green line, Gadsden flag, reference to Skynyrd, and something about being country. I'm not saying being country is bad at all! Heck, my mom's country. But still, you don't have to make that your whole personality!
Now for the faux redneck. We all know at least 10 of these guys! They live in the suburbs and drive a muddy, lifted truck with a Confederate flag somewhere on it. They drink light beer and are constantly blaring Kid Rock and Lynyrd Skynyrd on Friday nights. They are probably named something like Paxton or Tanner.
Now, why did Chrysler even think it was a clever idea to separate the Ram truck from Dodge? The Ram 1500 is your standard full-size pickup truck and, like all pickups, has garnered a reputation for obnoxious redneck behavior behind the wheel. Also, there's no need to tailgate me, dude. We get it! "Big truck eat little car!" This isn't Monster Jam, dude.
Hummer is like Jeep, but for rich people who want to appear both redneck and wealthy at the same time, for some reason. They're expensive, not as luxurious as advertised, and horrible on fuel. They gained popularity among civilians at a time when the U.S. was going to war again. Really, there's no reason to own one of these things.
In the world of obnoxious speed demons who think they're in a Fast & Furious movie, you have two groups: wannabe gangsters and faux rednecks. The Nissan R35 GT-R is Nissan's continuation of the GT-R line after splitting the nameplate from the Skyline in the mid-2000s. The R35 is easily far more powerful than any of its predecessors.
Its lower cost, compared to other powerful sports cars, and appearances in racing games make it a formidable choice for racers in the making - both real and posers. A common choice among street racing enthusiasts, this Japanese sports coupe has garnered quite a hated reputation for its use.
Basically, this is a car for rich, spoiled people who live off their parents' money. People who drive these cars are loud and give off major douche energy.
Minivans and "Karens" go together like peanut butter and jelly. By now, you know the stereotype. Karen: 40+ years old, bob cut, hoop earrings, cheap sunglasses, always wants to complain to the manager, shuttles the kids to soccer practice, and always complaining in general when something doesn't go her way. Yes, them.
The Plymouth Voyager used Chrysler's S-Platform to kick off a revolution in automobiles. Yes, the minivan was a revolutionary idea. All the other minivans have the Voyager to thank for the inspiration.
