Top 10 Questionable Things All Moms Do (But Don't Admit)

I remember one time my older sister was at school, and everyone else was leaving, being picked up by their parents. She was in middle school, about 13 years old, and all the other kids had cell phones except for her. Sadly, Mom forgot to pick her up for two hours. My sister thought Mom was just taking forever, but then some skateboarders saw her sitting there all alone and let her use their cell phone to call Mom. When she called, she asked where Mom was, and it turned out she was at home, in bed, watching TV! Mom had literally thought my sister was at a friend's house the whole time. She had to get out of bed and drive all the way to pick her up. My sister was so unhappy.

It was quite easy for me to smell a rat when, as a kid, I had minor roles in school plays - only one line in the whole two-hour production - while bigger kids had more actions and words to memorize and time perfectly. According to Mum and Dad, though, I gave the best performance.

"You played a great game!" "That trumpet solo sounded good!" "It's time for bed!" (an hour before it actually is). My personal favorite: "It must be in your room somewhere!" (I threw that creepy doll away months ago).

Guess who came to our house last night? Santa!

Some days, the battle is just too much, and we cave. Chicken nuggets, frozen pizza, some kind of rolled-up rubber they call fruit? Anything goes. The vegetables will be there tomorrow.

Yes, it's precious when we receive the necklace made out of pasta and an "I Love You" card cut out of construction paper. But as the pile gets larger, and glue and glitter take over your dresser drawer, you just have to start downsizing.

I don't blame them. I don't care if they don't want a card I made when I was 8.

Hey, yeah, that's right. You're never allowed to use TV under any circumstances while babysitting (I was 14, and that was still the case), yet parents use it all the time?! Could a mom please explain that without talking back?

Remember how you swore you'd NEVER do this? But then, the kid has been screaming for an hour, your head is about to explode, and you haven't seen a shower in 5 days. Elmo comes on, and you finally have some relief. Roll with it.

When I have kids, I'll take more time to give them a head start on learning to read, write, and multiply big numbers. My parents did try, but the TV was a big distraction.

Baby books with cute little trinkets - baby's first tooth, a lock of hair, memories caught on film. Themed scrapbooks of holidays, sports, and family vacations. We all had good intentions. Now, the kid is 10, and the baby book is still blank and collecting dust. Let it go.

I actually have one, but it's not what you think. It turns out this "baby book" was really just a tiny pamphlet filled with all my medical records and statistics (e.g., weight, height, age) from when I was a baby up until I was a teenager.

It's a process, and sometimes we just don't have the time or energy. The bubbles, the toys, the mess - sometimes a quick spit shine or a once-over with a baby wipe will do in a pinch.

Now and then, a nasty word just slips right out, especially when you step on a Lego in the middle of the night. We've all growled at our kids, sometimes for no reason other than being tired. Other times, they had it coming. It's scary when you turn around, expecting to see your mother standing there, and realize the words came out of your mouth.

The first time I heard strong language was from my father. He often swears when something isn't working. But neither of us care.

My dad cusses a lot in Spanish. My mother does that too, but only sometimes.

After you've read Cinderella 200 times, you start to skimp. When they aren't paying attention or start to nod off, we skip ahead. If this doesn't work, you can always hide the book too. Why can't Dora the Explorer learn some English already?

I learned to read before she would read to me, so I'd always know if she was skipping pages!

I told them they were skipping pages, so they made me read the story to them.

You know how it goes: do a butt sniff and a quick squeeze of the diaper to see if it warrants changing. If it's only half full, we'll let it ride for a while. Two hours later, we realize the kid is soaked. Great job, Mom.