Top Ten Funny But Unlikely Things for Kim Jong-Un to Say In a National Speech

PositronWildhawk
Let's face it, Kim Jong-un is a crazy guy, but him going this far is what we can only picture.

The Top Ten

1 Honey, did you want to cook the Chinese tonight?

Laugh out loud This is based on that meme!

Actually I can imagine him saying this with a straight face...
Excellent list Pos! Haha! - Britgirl

2 Oppan Pyongyang Style!

Good one. I want Kim to say this - KingSlayer93316

Hey isn't he of the same build as PSY. He is fit for the job of North Korean Ganghnam Style ( or Pyongyang Style! ). He is also the supreme leader. Imagine the video getting viral all over YouTube and video sites with him dancing on one of his songs!
Superb list, Pos.! - Kiteretsunu

Haha I guess both Koreas are tired of these jokes. Funny list Positron! - keyson

Oh loololololo

1 Comment
3 Now, you must all think I'm completely M.A.D. by now...
4 Well, the rocket's working fine, but does anyone know where they left the instruction manual?

I SAID LUNCH NOT LAUNCH - styLIShT

"So, what does this button do, then? " - PositronWildhawk

5 Let's just say I'm getting that plastic surgery done to save money on statues.

This is a good idea. Too bad his Dad never thought of it. - PositronWildhawk

6 I'm an Army Girl, and quite an Ugly Girl...

This is the best one! Haha!

So funny! Pos A army girl that is ugly laugh out loud and number 1 too He gonna cook honey with a Chinese food so yummy Funny Positron Love you - Empire

7 I've always thought that my Granddaddy looked like Eric Pickles...

I think so too. Scary for both of us, right, Kim? - PositronWildhawk

8 Calling me fat is a cliché. My BMI is the same as my IQ.

Haha! Nice way to use your overweight BMI! - Kiteretsunu

Haha! I can imagine him saying it! - DogsUnleashed

Fat boy! - kontrahinsunu

9 And, on that bombshell...
10 YOLO!

Speak for yourself, Kim. - PositronWildhawk

The Contenders

11 Allahu Ackbar!
12 I pooped in my pants

People in North Korea by law have to use human waste for farms, their manure is human waste.

Who the hell wrote this a 5 year old?

13 How does a fat man become a head of state? He sits on the old one!
14 I'm so ronery!
15 I love Katy Perry
16 Oppa Gangnam Style!
17 I'm Batman

Yes he is - TwilightKitsune

18 So I'm hungry, and I'm hungry again. Oh. I'm hungry again.
19 Is this the Krusty Krab?

No, this is some crazy North Korean dictator - 445956

20 I banged Donald Trump and now we have stopped the rockets from hitting America

... Alrighty then.

21 Baby baby baby ohh
22 It Needs To Be About 20% Cooler!
23 I like xanny
24 Me kill all Americans!!
25 #Metoo
26 We will reunite with the South, I will resign.
27 I'm going to weight watchers
28 I'm building a Korean Playboy Mansion.
29 I love The Only Way is Essex and Love Island.
30 What time is Jersey Shore on?
31 I watched Care Bears when I was a kid.
32 My favourite band...Backstreet Boys
33 I was the one who wrote the script for Doogal and The Legend of The Titanic, Titanic The Legend Goes On and Tentacolino.
34 I'm one of the real vampires, how do I go outside in daylight as if I'm telling you that.
35 Savvy
36 I believe in santa claus
37 My mother is the tooth fairy.
38 We made up loads of lies.
39 Why don't I have a baby blimp?
40 I will give you money

Billions of "Won" I will give you all every Korean will have it from me your Korean leader.

41 My father will hear about this!
42 Enemies of the fat Koreans heir beware!
43 I win elections again woohoo!
44 Hey ricky!
45 America is the best country ever
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